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Elderly parents
Original poster

Is this acceptable??

56 replies

Lunamoon23 · 22/03/2025 16:37

Hello,

Looking for advice, my father is in a residential facility/care home and has been since May of last year. He had a brain annyersum that left him unable to care for himself at home. He can walk but he often fell etc.

I’ll save all the backstory, but he has been going into the local town and spending huge amounts of money. He went in 4 days ago and spent £270 in Tesco. When I questioned him about what he’d spend that money on, given that he has all meals cooked and provided to him within the home, he told me it was stuff for the home. Fruit, biscuits, juice, vegetable's, cheese etc. It shocked me that they’d accept this?

we have a ongoing dilemma regarding mental capacity with my father and are currently in the process of seeking POA but in the meantime, this is the situation.

So my question is, is this allowed???

OP posts:
Wysiwyg100 · 22/03/2025 17:01

Do you know he's definitely passing it on to the care home and not someone who says they are doing it for him ( maybe an unscrupulous member of staff )
Perhaps it's worth mentioning it to a senior member of staff and you could tell them you will report to adult social care if they admit it .

Original poster
Lunamoon23 · 22/03/2025 16:55

So, he is deemed as ‘having capacity’ by social services because he ‘understands’ what money is, however, us as family would disagree.
He is allowed to leave the care home as he pleases, which he does to go to church (a fellow church goer picks him up and drops him back) and he’ll sometimes take himself into town, which he does alone. (This takes him a very long time, we got a call on the same visit I’m talking about from the care home at 10.30pm saying he hadn’t come back yet, and we had to track him down)

So, I know it isn’t a support worker or care giver spending the money, as he is alone at that time.

What my concern is, is that he’s buying this stuff because they keep accepting it.
They haven’t even told us this is happening, my father did and I have access to view his bank account so can see what he’s spending.

But legally, is this allowed? For them to accept this kind of stuff from a resident?

OP posts:
Largestlegocollectionever · 22/03/2025 16:46

I’d call the police, I’d want them to review the cctv and see who actually bought what!

DenholmElliot11 · 22/03/2025 16:44

No in fact I’d say that’s a police matter I’ll bet it’s a staff member doing it problem is your dad will probably say he agreed to it so nip it in the bud asap.

LeaveTaking · 22/03/2025 16:42

Sorry I misread.

No, he absolutely should not be funding food for the other residents and I’m shocked they would allow this. I would raise it with the management asap to understand how and why this is happening.

It’s one thing if he has the capacity to make this decision but a completely different situation if this isn’t the case.

Hope you get some answers soon OP.

LeaveTaking · 22/03/2025 16:40

Is support worker or carer going with him?

My concern would be if it is actually him spending the money.