Why do elderly people refuse to drink sufficient fluid?

In answer to the query about types of jelly drops, @Disscombobulated : there appear to be several different brands. As you'll know, it's best to avoid those with artificial sweeteners since they can have a laxative effect.

This one claims not to have a laxative effective.

https://www.jellydrops.com/

I would really struggle to drink 3l water even on days I've exercised a lot.
Generally (not all) elderly people are potentially more sedentary so won't be working up a sweat or feeling thirsty.
I'm pretty sure the signals or feeling of thirst decreases with age as well.
I never drank water as a kid, and never saw my parents drink it. I have to really persuade myself to drink a litre of water a day.

I remember in the ortho trauma ward all my mates were elderly. Everyone was always getting told off when the nurse checked the catheter. 'your urine is too dark! Drink some water!' we all started doing it to eachother and watching the pee get lighter!
It is definitely partly to do with not wanting to have to go to the toilet, either because of it being uncomfortable and taking ages mobility wise, or that they can't hold it in and don't want to be wet.

@Disscombobulated - the jelly sweets are usually sugar free. My mum had them too in the summer and she was diabetic. Your FIL's GP should have heard of them, I believe mum had them in hospital too although I can't be too sure about that, so they're very well known.

Are you sure he's been told to drink 3 litres a day?
3 litres is what you need when you're ill in hospital and eating nothing.
Most younger people drink way more than they actually need, because of a myth promulgated by bottled water companies.

Oh and the 3L thing is standard for kidney issues , I have CKD and a very active stoma so tend to drink 4L a day to stay ok top of things

Would he perhaps drink the Orange juice with either still or sparkling water added?
I drink half and half fruit juice and water in the summer as I find it very refreshing and it would increase his amount he drank a bit.

What about other hot drinks people used to drink more often like Bovril or Camp Coffee?
You can get Horlicks or Ovaltine in mixes you just make with hot water.
If he has a sweet tooth, would he drink a slushie in the summer?

I think you need to come up with lots of little ways to add a bit more liquid here and there to get it up overall, so some in foods, some in drinks or desserts.
Jelly is mostly water, Angel Delight is mostly milk.
Maybe start by trying to get him to have 1 litre a day then slowly aim higher over time if/as he gets used to it, rather than going straight for 3 litres.

That really does seem like an awful lot and the sheer amount would put me off even trying.

Lots of older people don’t like the taste of plain water — it just wasn’t a thing to drink plain water in their youth and (like my dad and my MIL) they associate it with school.

It also wasn’t the custom, especially in working class families, to drink water with a meal (my father’s family firmly believed that it gave you indigestion to drink fluids at the same time as eating!) Having glasses of water or a jug of water on the table with a meal just wasn’t a thing for lots of British people in the 20th century. Tea or squash were sometimes permitted, but my paternal grandmother had a horror of plain water and also genuinely thought something quite dreadful would happen to you if you had soup and a drink at the same time, which she thought especially dangerous 😆

I’ve seen quite a few threads on MN about this thing about not drinking while eating. Some older people still don’t do it! My dad still goes on about how we’re all mad for taking water bottles around and nobody needs to drink water.

I have honestly never seen my MIL drink a glass of water — ever. She seems to get all her fluids from weak sugary Nescafé and a (very) occasional Tesco cola.

If he's got capacity (and I'm sure you would have mentioned if he hadn't), I can't see how you'd think it was in any way your responsibility if he gets kidney failure as a result of his decision not to drink sufficient.

The thirst impulse deadens with age and certain medications , we had similar issues with my dad and found that presenting different types of fluids was more successful than large quantities of water , so things like cups of tea , flavoured sparkling water , cordial but also supplementing with ice lollies and soups or a bovril drink. Just be careful not to give a lot of dark drinks as they need more processing by kidneys.

If he will have soup you can have some version at every meal. Will he eat cereal with milk? Ice lollies? Applesauce?

Because they are scared of being incontinent.
That is it
Especially elderly men they want to go to the toilet a lot and are scared of the shame if they have an accident because they cannot get there in time.
Tell them there will be toilets, at home encourage them to drink am when they are more mobile

It’s often a combination of what meds they might be on, not wanting to get up to go to the loo, being even slightly incontinent, and you can add lack of understanding, forgetfulness and sheer stubbornness into the equation as well. Unless you are old, infirm, it’s hard to contemplate just how difficult, possibly frightening it can be to try and get up out of bed to make it to the loo, even an ensuite. It’s very had work getting fluids in, but can help hugely in other ways if you can. Doesn’t have to be 3 litres of all water, but can be things like soup, glass of milk, tea, coffee, hot choc, shakes, those little health drinks. Consider making one meal soup and a sandwich each day. Look at how easy it is to go to the loo, can he wear incontinence pads to avoid embarrassing accidents, try to coax, don’t show anger.

My mum, a six plus a day tea drinker, started to have problems with hydration when she developed dementia. In her care home they'd give her a straw with a glass of ribena or similar rather than her sipping it. It seemed to be easier for her to draw a lot of fluid and swallow with a straw than just by sipping from a cup. Which makes sense if you think how much fluid you can get through in somewhere like McDonalds with a straw rather than gulping it back. And it used to take her back to her childhood - she used to love blowing bubbles into her ribena and would giggle away.

Could be worth a try?

These Jelly Drops are absolutely magic - I've tried them myself, they're genuinely really tasty. They're designed for situations similar to this and might be a good way to sneak some more water into him, as a side bonus they also contain some vitamins. And would a portable urinal that looks less like the traditional hospital ones be less embarrassing for him to have around? He might be more inclined to use it. They also do a version that glows in the dark!

My DF is in his 80s - still very fit and active. I am constantly nagging him to drink more. His explanation is that he avoids drinking when he's not thirsty because when he does, then he feels like he needs to go to the loo all the time and it's really inconvenient when he's out and about. Especially now when public toilet provision is a bit hit and miss.

Will he drink tea? Try decaf tea and put it in a latte mug, largest one you can find.

3 litres of water a day is a bloody ridiculous amount for anyone, let alone someone old and sedentary. Are you sure that's what they recommended?

Is it possible to keep water easily accessible in every room and set an alarm for maybe for every 1-2 hours if he has a phone?

No, she didn’t need to. Her post reads perfectly clearly that she’s not referring to every single elderly person out there.

As a chronic under drinker myself A) it lowers your thirst in general & B) it's not something I think about at all.

I do agree however if it's causing health problems & your unable to help him fix it he needs proper medical care either by "leaving" him at the hospital next time so they won't be able to release him without proper care or looking for nursing homes if he's willing

Jelly Drops!

https://www.jellydrops.com/