Hi all,
I'm feeling very angry and upset over the situation I have concerning the loss of my dad and my poor mum who is cared for by my sister. I will try and outline it as it will be very long explaining. My dad was 85,he was quite poorly with COPD and kidney failure stage 3 . My mum is 90 and has vascular dementia and severe heart failure and other health problems,she is cared for by mu sister alone ,as my sister lives with mum,and then before dad too. My sister Is very controlling, when my poor dad was here, over the last 2 years,she has told my dad who he can and can't talk to, told him not to speak about what goes on in the house,or they will put my mum in care home. Upsetting my dad by saying he's a crap dad and no winder his other daughter, ( from previous marriage) doesn't want to know him as he's a sh.. dad. Not letting my dad go for a walk as she didn't want him talking to neighbours or anyone, but my dad needed exercise for his health concerns. She would shout and swear at my mum when mum got agitated, telling her to shut up, in her face, getting my dad to sit with mum,When's she's agitated, and he was getting so upset,seeing his wife on 55 years going through this. Myself and Dr and other professionals have safeguarded our concerns,butthey never pursue it,saying my sister is doing everything she's meant too, and it's sibling rivalry. I wrote my sister a email, sent a copy to social worker,as my proof of it. Asking my sister why she felt to treat my dad so cruelly and about my mums finances as we both have financial power of attorney, and she doesn't give me any information concerning this. Previously she was told by the princess alice nurse not to overwealm my parents with things, but she told my dad of the email a week before he went in hospital, she told him I wanted my muns money, and why can't he say something to me.when he went in hospital he was in for a month, he confided in drs,as to the feeling of having to deal with her, he felt a big weight on his shoulders, he was so fatigued and depressed, his tiredness was due to sleeping in the same room as my mum and Mt sister would put lights on in middle of night, as my mum was agitated or something. And all the worries he took on and didn't talk about. He sadly passed away in hospital, it was a terrible stay in there, treated so cruelly sometimes. Again sorry so long. I feel my sister was partly what caused him to end up back in hospital and sadly pass away, I can't stop blaming her. I can't even visit my mum as me and my sister have ,over last 2 years fought verbally and I have hit her a couple of times due to her foul accusations and language towards me. So now I ring my mum daily and I text for update on my mum. My sister won't let me sort my dad's possessions out, or walk around the house, when I went up there with my daughter,it's a horrible situation and I don't know what to do