Page 2 | Mum got to have teeth out.

Redheadedstepchild · 2025-02-14T17:24:31+00:00

Hi, my mum is 84 and has been to see NHS dentist today. Well, it was a centre for student dentists that offers free treatment as obviously they are still learning. Apparently, the private dentist has been stringing her along a bit (a lot) and infection has set in under some bridgework and gone into the bone. She has to go into hospital and have all her top teeth out. Maybe some of the bottom ones can be saved. She's absolutely distraught. Does this sound right to you? What can I say to her? Has anyone experienced similar? Are dentures better these days than they used to be? Should she get a second opinion? Thanks in advance everyone x.

Original poster

Redheadedstepchild · 14/02/2025 19:18

LemonPeonies · 14/02/2025 18:47

Aw bless her, losing your dad recently as well must be making everything seem even worse. In my line of work (sister of a frailty care ward), I do find some people think "oh they're elderly, what do they care about their teeth" etc, but actually a lot of the older generation take a lot more pride in their appearance, than people nowadays. Teeth are a part of us and people of any age really struggle with losing them or any part of their identity. If it was me I'd let her have her space, then get her a treat depending on what she likes. Good luck x

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She wanted to talk for a bit and she's calmed down. I think she's known something was wrong but has downplayed it. There's a long backstory here with bridges and refusing to go to Manchester dental hospital (?) not very clear to me... switching dentists and goodness knows what.

She wants to have some pâté on toast now, "Whilst I still have the chance!" and watch some lifeboat rescue programme where animals fall in holes and off cliffs. I don't know whether she watches it for the animals or the firemen 😉

Thankyou everybody.

OP posts:

FiveTreeHill · 14/02/2025 18:51

If its a dental hospital then presumably there are supervisors who are generally very experienced

Ultimately she can decline treatment if she wants. She will risk worsened infection and pain but it depends if she can afford private treatment if that happens

The difficulty is if someone is your patient long term you can monitor Bridgework, maybe see there's some chronic infection but ultimately its not causing any problems and is stable so can be left until it starts to progress or cause problems. The problem If your treating someone as a one off is you have no ability to regularly review and monitor, and no capacity for dealing with emergencies when it eventually causes problems

LemonPeonies · 14/02/2025 18:47

Redheadedstepchild · 14/02/2025 18:23

Thanks. She's beside herself tonight. I wouldn't use the word vain but she's certainly very proud. I think everybody has their own personal health horror and her's is having false teeth. She's as sharp as a tack, mentally and hates being old.

They might actually look better cosmetically and I've already committed a faux pas by mentioning my friend who has had dentures since she was 28 because her ex husband knocked them out by beating her. She knows this story already and all I said was, "You would never guess Kathy Fleur's teeth weren't real."

She's called Kathy Fleur because I live in small Corsican village and everybody is either called Kathy (pronounced Kahtty)or Marie (including me) and you get identified by your occupation or distinguishing feature. My friend is a florist. I'm called Kahtty l'anglaise for obvious reasons.

My mum won't talk to me tonight. She's doing a Greta Garbo and just wants to be alone.

It's a small thing in the grand scheme of things and we lost Dad on 27th March last year, so it's coming up to the anniversary and she's a bit delicate anyway. Valentine's Day an'all.

I might give it half an hour and see if she'll talk to me. She can always not answer. Thanks again.

Show quote history

Aw bless her, losing your dad recently as well must be making everything seem even worse. In my line of work (sister of a frailty care ward), I do find some people think "oh they're elderly, what do they care about their teeth" etc, but actually a lot of the older generation take a lot more pride in their appearance, than people nowadays. Teeth are a part of us and people of any age really struggle with losing them or any part of their identity. If it was me I'd let her have her space, then get her a treat depending on what she likes. Good luck x

Original poster

Redheadedstepchild · 14/02/2025 18:36

catlovingdoctor · 14/02/2025 18:29

It's hard to comment without a full examination and radiographs. A second opinion might be worthwhile as it's obviously a very radical step.

Dentures have improved as a treatment, but take getting used to. They aren't a replacement for teeth; I tell my patients they are a replacement for having no teeth as it is important to have realistic expectations. Depending on medical status and finances, implants may be an option although these have to be very well-maintained.

It may not be that her previous dentist has "strung her along"; it may be that things looked stable before but now they don't, and if there was no presenting pain or other problem there was no reason to think her teeth and/or bridge had a poor prognosis.

Thanks. I realise the other dentist might not have been stringing her along, I was going off my mum's outrage to be fair. I'm typing as I'm listening to her on the phone. She's a bit calmer now.

OP posts:

catlovingdoctor · 14/02/2025 18:29

It's hard to comment without a full examination and radiographs. A second opinion might be worthwhile as it's obviously a very radical step.

Dentures have improved as a treatment, but take getting used to. They aren't a replacement for teeth; I tell my patients they are a replacement for having no teeth as it is important to have realistic expectations. Depending on medical status and finances, implants may be an option although these have to be very well-maintained.

It may not be that her previous dentist has "strung her along"; it may be that things looked stable before but now they don't, and if there was no presenting pain or other problem there was no reason to think her teeth and/or bridge had a poor prognosis.

Original poster

Redheadedstepchild · 14/02/2025 18:23

LemonPeonies · 14/02/2025 17:48

Dentures can be better rhese days, but all are expensive tbh. I think your mum has Done very well to get to 84 with most of her teeth though!

Thanks. She's beside herself tonight. I wouldn't use the word vain but she's certainly very proud. I think everybody has their own personal health horror and her's is having false teeth. She's as sharp as a tack, mentally and hates being old.

They might actually look better cosmetically and I've already committed a faux pas by mentioning my friend who has had dentures since she was 28 because her ex husband knocked them out by beating her. She knows this story already and all I said was, "You would never guess Kathy Fleur's teeth weren't real."

She's called Kathy Fleur because I live in small Corsican village and everybody is either called Kathy (pronounced Kahtty)or Marie (including me) and you get identified by your occupation or distinguishing feature. My friend is a florist. I'm called Kahtty l'anglaise for obvious reasons.

My mum won't talk to me tonight. She's doing a Greta Garbo and just wants to be alone.

It's a small thing in the grand scheme of things and we lost Dad on 27th March last year, so it's coming up to the anniversary and she's a bit delicate anyway. Valentine's Day an'all.

I might give it half an hour and see if she'll talk to me. She can always not answer. Thanks again.

OP posts:

LemonPeonies · 14/02/2025 17:48

Dentures can be better rhese days, but all are expensive tbh. I think your mum has Done very well to get to 84 with most of her teeth though!