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Elderly parents
Original poster

My dad and his final plans

31 replies

shellyleppard · 29/01/2025 07:57

Sorry if this upsets anyone. My dad is 80, fit as the proverbial fiddle. He's had a lot of health issues the past couple of years. Recently had a mild stroke before Christmas. Now he's making his final plans. Has asked his doctor for a do not resuscitate order. Decluttering his house, getting rid of stuff he doesn't use anymore. On the one hand I'm screaming don't go its too soon. On the other I'm so proud of him for being organised and "getting ready". I don't know where I'm going with this. Hugs to all who have loved ones that are ill x

OP posts:
littleblackcat247 · 29/01/2025 08:33

Good for him - but also keep in mind he could carry on for like 14 years plus being healthy!

Original poster
shellyleppard · 29/01/2025 08:33

@Lamelie its a good idea but he has so much stuff already.....think he's just trying to get rid of non essentials he doesn't use. For instance he's got six coats.....

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Original poster
shellyleppard · 29/01/2025 08:31

@BlueLegume thank you for your kind words. I don't envy you and the declutter sessions x i think my dad is just very organised. I'm just sad because I know he's thinking of the end now. His brothers and sisters in laws looked after his mum. But she had a massive stroke and took ages to die. She wanted to go home and the family managed to sort it for her. X

OP posts:
BlueLegume · 29/01/2025 08:24

@shellyleppard bravo to your dad. Did he experience problems with his own parents with regard to getting organised prior to their final years? Perhaps he is ensuring he minimises extra work for you. I would absolutely applaud him. I am dreading the sorting of our parents home. It is absolutely rammed with ‘stuff’. Mainly clothes in the house - but every cupboard, wardrobe and drawer is brimming with stuff. Garage and storage shed - rammed with storage boxes full of vitamins, cleaning products and toiletries. Kitchen, and it is a large and very fancy ‘bespoke’ one - there must be 200 glasses, two full dinner services-barely used. As for the dining room - huge dresser - another full dinner service - possibly used once a year. 20 of each size crystal glasses from liqueur glasses, champagne flutes, red and white wine glasses, hi ball tumblers. It is ridiculously OTT - they were ordinary people but what they have accumulated makes them look like royalty. The sad thing is when you go to the local charity shop and see the stuff that has been donated like the above mentioned- it’s going for peanuts. Absolute hats off to your Dad - he clearly has your best interests at heart and also is not hanging onto ‘stuff’ he no longer needs.

Neolara · 29/01/2025 08:02

I think he sounds very pragmatic and sensible.

Lamelie · 29/01/2025 08:00

That’s impressive. But hard for you as it’s real. Can you encourage him to treat himself with as he goes- maybe by selling or offsetting the value of some of the things he declutters? My beloved uncle had a new mattress which made me so happy as it showed he was looking after himself and not worried about money.
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