My father

@MereDintofPandiculation, I am so very sorry to hear about your dear Father. Your love for him, and the relationship you have with him has always shone through your posts here. It doesn’t lessen the loss, but I hope that can bring you comfort in time.

You have a lot on your plate at the moment. I hope you and your DH have good support around you.

It’s ok if you can’t cry. I’m very much someone who struggles to publically cry; I am more likely to cry through anger than sadness, I tend to process sadness more quietly. I felt I really needed to let myself wallow in the sadness to be able to let myself fully feel it and cry. I found reading poetry etc about loss helpful in this but know that isn’t for everyone.

I’m 12 weeks into this journey ahead of you, and have found the grief comes in waves. I know you have walked this before in different capacities. I’ve been surprised how different it is each time though.

Sending you love for the coming days and weeks head. Here to chat when you want to.

It is such a lot - can you take the support you can from your DH. savour the time together however long that may be and leave tomorrow's worries for another day?

I can offer no thoughts on how you grieve but I want to say how your love for your father has shone through your posts over the years - he was obviously an amazing man even as his light started to dim. I hope that you can find a way to look back with fond memories. Look after yourself.

You won't be able to stop the emotions , especially if they are bottled

When my best friend died of cancer earlier this year, I found it very hard to cry. I took on the role of being there and being strong for everyone else - her daughters, our colleagues, our shared friends- and I found it very hard to acknowledge my own grief. In the end I took a very long, hot shower and bawled my eyes out. I deliberately played back in my head some of the most precious time we had together, and just let it go.

it was very cathartic, but I needed to do it on my own, in private.

big hugs to you xx

I’m sorry for your loss of your Dad @MereDintofPandiculation allow yourself to feel whatever comes. Grief, relief and fond memories 💐

Sympathy. I find shutting myself away for an hour with sad music, a large glass of red wine, chocolate and a very large box of tissues and just letting it all out helps.

Wailing will soothe you as it releases calming hormones.