Office of Public guardians investigation

Spendysis · 2025-01-24T18:59:08+00:00

Does anyone have any experience of office of public guardians investigations. I have mentioned my situation on here plenty of times on various threads I reported my dsis for financially abusing dm over a year ago and it has finally been assigned to an opg investigator who advised me I wouldn't get any updates or hear from them unless they need more information. I have just had a call from an independent doctor who opg have instructed to visit dm to assess her capacity and if she is vulnerable being influenced etc. Will opg inform me if any action has been taken like if they remove dsis as poa? If they do who does poa go to can dm choose or is it chosen for her. Will I be informed when they close the investigation? Social services visited dm previously and reported it to the police who then closed the case unless opg come up with something will opg notify them directly if they do find something? I think ss have opened their case again but I've not heard anything other than a generic email Just wondering if anyone has any experience of any of this so I know what to expect

Spendysis · 15/07/2025 18:43

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Original poster

Spendysis · 09/07/2025 23:29

Opg have emailed me today to advise the investigation has been completed but as I am not poa I was equal poa until I believe my dsis convinced dm to remove me they can't give me any details of their findings which in fairness they did advise me of this when the case finally got assigned to an investigator

Mixed feelings on the one hand I have some sort of closure i raised my concerns to them they have looked into it they are the experts but on the other hand not knowing the outcome is frustrating is dsis still poa? Is this the reason dm is now in a care home which i doubt was dsis choice given the cost and this whole situation being about money has dsis got away with it all?

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Original poster

Spendysis · 25/06/2025 23:18

@Notsandwiches sorry just seen the pm bit I am sure I will think of loads more question so when I do I will pm you

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Original poster

Spendysis · 25/06/2025 23:17

@Notsandwiches thanks my mind has gone blank. But do they advise when the investigation has been completed. I thought my investigation had been closed as it's been ongoing for 6 months it took a year for it to be assigned to an investigator and I was advised I wouldn't get updates and it usually takes 12 weeks to complete. So presumed it was closed. I emailed ss about an update they usually reply that they can't deal with it now opg are but came back to me to say they are waiting on opg information/instructions so they finally seem to be working together

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Notsandwiches · 25/06/2025 14:37

I have a friend who works in OPG investigations. PM me a list of questions and I will speak to them. They obviously won't talk about your particular case but I can get non case specific guidance if that would help?

rhino666 · 26/04/2025 14:09

@Spendysis I hope things have improved for you and your dd is in a better place. I assume after 2 weeks dh is back and sharing some of the stress. Putting 2+2 together from your last post, were you suggesting that dsis had reported dbil because he is on benefit and has 20k savings which I assume she wanted to get her hands on. If so, you really could not make it up, could you?

I decided to try and involve the police a while back and in the absence of any other information, found a reference to a men's advice line, a long way into the search results. This is really set up for male victims of domestic abuse, I guess, so my email sent 4th April was really asking to be pointed in the right direction to approach the Police with my particular issue. They replied on 17th April and confirmed that coercive control is a criminal offence. They recommended calling '101' where I could get advice; they also suggested Citizens Advice for their recommendation for a solicitor.

I called '101' on Monday and spoke to a pleasant lady who during our conversation mentioned personal issue with the Public Guardian. I think at some point in most peoples lives, they will be directly or indirectly failed by the Public Guardian. She took down some information and organised a supposed video, teams I guess, appointment with a local Police station for 12.00 on Thursday. Lots of Police problems generally, in this area at the moment, so that was cancelled at the last moment but I had an hour long telephone conversation yesterday with a policeman. He asked a lot of questions and was obviously completing an enquiry form but was not interested in me sending the evidence I had, to him. In short a pleasant very young chap tasked with collecting information as was required.

He called me back a couple of hours later to suggest that I would be best advised talking to Citizens advice and getting a solicitor. He also mentioned the Courts and tribunals Service, HMCTS but I cannot see where they would be relevant here. I was told that if the Police did get involved they would go the same route anyway but it would just take a lot more time than if I handled it myself. I did suggest that only the Police could deal with this as a criminal offence, mandate the production of Bank Statements, etc but it was quite obvious that generally speaking, the Police do not get involved in these matters, whatever the evidence. In truth I suggest their efforts with Coercive Control as a crime are restricted to domestic situations, where I gather the police spend a disproportionate amount of their time and our resources; how times have changed.

I conclude that, as the Police will not get involved at all and the Public Guardian will not get involved effectively with our shared problem, the only option available is through a solicitor. That is the route I am taking and I have already had one false start in that respect; hoping for a better result with another solicitor; I will report back.

Original poster

Spendysis · 13/04/2025 23:15

@rhino666 opg sent out an independent dr to access dm capacity and if she was vulnerable to being coerced I only know this because he contacted me as he was trying to ring her but got no reply and wanted to check he had the correct number I have no idea what his findings were

From what I was advised opg only deal with abuse of poa which has happened not financial abuse manipulation and coercion that is a matter for adult ss and the police yet adult ss wont deal with it now opg are and police who literally visited dm asked if she was ok and wanted to still see me which she said she did although after that she stopped letting me in the house closed their case unless opg came up with something. So everyone is passing the buck to someone else

I am having a wobble today been supporting young adult dd who has been off sick from work with anxiety is due yet again to go back tomorrow. We have done this a few times and she never made it in Someone has been moving into dm house over the weekend my childhood home it got cleared out by dsis and i haven't got back some of my stuff which i didn't expect to and it's hit me that as dm is now living with dsis I won't see her alive again i will be lucky if I am told when she passes. Dbil who is medically unfit to work not the brightest spark has been asked to provide bank statements and has £20k sat in his account is stressing and I am not sure if it is dsis who has reported this as she is a benefit assessor she used to help him complete his forms and the money he has is from when their dm passed away they all got £20k the rest went on care home fees dsis knew this as she claimed we had already had inherited the fact she took £10k in 6 months what dm told me from the statements had £14k for what she told dm was life saving surgery dm came to me in tears saying she couldn't really afford it but you do what you can for dc I got told it was bowel reconstruction her work were paying half and the remortgage paperwork I was printing off was for the rest that was all lies it was weight loss surgery the remortgage her 3rd mortgage on her house was yet again debt consolidation. We thought dbil had spent the money he had paid his mortgage off and had a new bathroom fitted

I am stressed I am tired of it all dh is away at the moment and we have just FaceTime I wish I had his anger his attitude dsis is a greedy cow I am so much better person etc he's lost both his parents but he is close to his brothers non of them would do this to him or his children he got to say goodbye to his parents be involved in their life

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rhino666 · 13/04/2025 20:07

I would totally agree; the paper trail of dm's bank statements would reveal all but you and I have specifically and deliberately been denied the privilege of that information for obvious reasons. As far as I know the only way for a third party to have sight of these bank statements is through the Public Guardian or the Police, both of whom are seemingly precluded options in this respect.

As I understand it the Public Guardian will only act on its investigation if the donor, dm, is alive and found to be mentally incapable. Hopefully she will still be alive at the reckoning but it would seem she will be deemed mentally capable and the Public Guardian will drop any reasonable remedying action because of that; I hope I am completely wrong. If I am right, they would presumably have lied about starting an investigation, as if dm is mentally capable, their rules quote the Mental Capacity Act 2005 regarding mental incapacity and the investigation is not justifiable. This obviously misses the main cause of our issues completely and therefore conveniently ignores at least 90% of LPOA abuse.

Our experiences are so similar and I was wondering if our sisters are the same types of personality too. My sister is very money orientated, everything else comes a distant second to that priority. Her husband was a genuinely good person and friend at one time but now a totally controlled, loyal and highly intelligent foot solder, making up for her own low intelligence and all at my significant expense. My sister's greed likely killed his mother, or so his father alleged and broke up his brother's marriage. When she spends money, it is most often in areas where the money is burnt and not invested/saved, expensive holidays for example. She has a domineering, controlling personality but not much in the way of genuine emotion or care for others; I would say a psychopathic personality. She never gives anything away, expects to get everything cheap when buying but conversely, top dollar when selling. In an effort to discredit and undermine me, she has lied and manipulated to make it appear that I am the problem; Sadly she has been successful in this strategy to the same measure as the erstwhile control over my mother. I suspect there is a broad degree of similarity but for your sake, I really hope not?

Original poster

Spendysis · 12/04/2025 10:43

It's incredibly frustrating as to me it's obvious what is going on. It's there in black and white on the bank statements that money was being transferred regularly and then if they look at dsis account they will see it was used for her own personal spending. She won't have receipts to match up to prove the money was spent on dm. Plus my version of events that after we had a discussion about missing money and me refusing to do the equity release mortgage dsis blocking me

The fact that since then I was removed as poa the equity release mortgage was taken out and the will has been changed

I've also sent email proof from the first equity release company dsis tried to use saying she pretended to be dm at first then admitted it was her and that she needed the money to tide her over until she got her inheritance

I don't understand why dsis has been allowed to remain poa for dm i presume the opg investigation is still ongoing as they said they will be looking out to see if the rental income ends up in dsis account but as they don't provide updates which they told me i wouldn't I won't know when they have completed the investigation

I have no concerns of DMs care while living with dsis she used to be a nurse and old people care home manager but they will get on each other's nerves and this will support dsis side that she cared for dm in old age where as I did nothing. Obviously this is because i have been excluded as dm was at my house 4 times a week i did her shopping etc until we had the discussion about the missing money

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Original poster

Spendysis · 12/04/2025 10:22

@rhino666 I am sorry you are in a similar situation. I don't have dm bank statements and haven't seen them. Dm told me dsis had transferred the money I already suspected that was happening as dsis has always been a nightmare with money always borrowing money from dm and I knew she had downloaded the dm banking app

Dm still owns her house so dsis won't want her in a care home as she won't want to lose out on her inheritance. Dsis is reliant on that money to pay her own interest only mortgage off as she has no other way of paying it.

As I haven't seen dm recently I don't know if she was no longer able to cope living alone or if her moving in with dsis was just so dm house could be rented out of which I am sure will end up in dsis bank account

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rhino666 · 11/04/2025 23:26

I have been thinking about you and your situation as well as considering my own and I find it hard to accept the position we are both in.

You are obviously an honest and decent person who has done their best to deal with a situation created by dsis, a criminal who has effectively stolen from you and cruelly tortured you with multiple safeguarding, family and financial issues. It would appear that neither the police nor the Public Guardian are ever effective in these circumstances which is criminal it itself. What does one have to do to get these people to do their job?

I am currently trying to involve the police as have original letters from my mother that prove my sister’s money extraction and coercive control are to blame for my mother jumping in front of a train in a determined attempt to kill herself. She survived after coming out of a coma with serious injuries but was my sister’s puppet from that moment forward. Can anyone suggest how I get in touch with the correct police department to deal with this. I emailed their male coercive control helpline some days ago asking this question and have not heard back.

In order to be coercively controlled/unduly influenced, the controllee requires mental capacity; why does the Public Guardian wash its hands of this obviously, very common scenario on the basis that they take no action if the donor has mental capacity?

Am I correct in thinking that you actually have possession of dm’s bank statements, showing the money transfers to dsis? Surely the evidence does not get much clearer than that; it is theft pure and simple and if not dealt with by the police as a criminal matter, could be dealt with as a civil matter by a solicitor. Dm’s support and agreement in these matters, whilst compelling is the usual situation with Coercive control/undue influence, sad to say and certainly no good reason to dismiss the obvious crime committed.

The other matter that has me confused is dsis now looking after dm at dsis home. The only thing, more important than money to the money orientated, selfish personality, epitomised by our sisters, is the avoidance of responsibility. My sister made a choice to fund care home accommodation for our parents at a cost of over £3k a week rather than care for them herself. Your dsis, having taken all dm’s money will know that she could place dm in a home with 100% authority funding; why hasn’t she done that? I consider that a worrying choice on the part of dsis and would want to know the true motive.

I am sure you realise that there are many people in exactly our position which is absolutely no comfort but if a general way forward is to be found, I believe the key is in addressing the Public Guardian with it’s very obviously flawed processes and ridiculous rules. I am going to take this on for the greater good but any positive changes that may happen will be too late for us. So far I am aware of the two of us in this position but it would be really useful if any reader of this thread who has personal knowledge of any similar matter could make themselves known to me. To carry any weight in my argument to constructively address the Public Guardian, I really require more examples of this blatant abuse of LPOA. I would also like to hear from any person, if indeed they exist, who considers that the Public Guardian has served them well.

Thank you

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 06/04/2025 11:43

Do you think your mum has capacity to decide whether she wants you to be able to visit and to voice that decision? If she does and your sister prevents you from visiting or communicating with you then it is considered abuse under article 8 of the human rights act.

If she does have capacity and says she doesn't want to see you then there's nothing you can do.

But if she does want to see you or lacks capacity to decide then it is her human right to have access from you.

If your mum ever needs care because your sister can't manage on her own, then the council can pursue your sister for any of your mums assets she's spent.

I wish it was uncommon, but there are so many unscrupulous family members who do things like this.

Original poster

Spendysis · 05/04/2025 23:40

I have made a lot of excuses for dsis despite everything she must be deeply unhappy with her life that she's trying to prove she's happy successful with her excess spending etc

The evil side of me hopes DMs estate goes to probate dsis who dispite manipulating my dc telling them years ago everything goes to her and when they said no it is split between you and our mum she responded inheritance isn't guaranteed she is the one who has 3 mortgages on her house including an interest only one that she has no way of paying off unless she gets her inheritance i don't if she was short of course I would of helped her out now she's already spent the money she got from the equity release and i hope she has to provide hmrc with 7 years worth of statements and is taxed on all the loans /gifts not my problem if it's not enough to cover her mortgage I did try to warn her of all of this

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Original poster

Spendysis · 05/04/2025 23:23

@UnhappyAndYouKnowIt thank you I wasn't aware of that I will look into it. It's frustrating I shouldn't be having to tell opg adult ss and the police their jobs I have explained to all 3. Dsis has always been a financial nightmare me and mainly dm have always bailed her out but we accepted that. We were close she was on holiday with my dc - booked then she couldn't afford it so as usual dm footed the bill when dm asked me to get her bank statements as she wasn't getting them in the post I have not seen these the lady in the bank advised postal statements had been turned off by the app dm does not have this. Dm advised me in 6 months £10k had been transferred to dsis i advised her to talk to her dsis I was also poa not registered with the bank dsis had been pestering me to do equity release claiming to avoid inheritance tax. So I suggested we all get together dsis had obviously already spoken to dm who said she was happy for her to have the money she slipped up when she said although she doesn't always ask first fine I explained my reasoning for not wanting to do an equity release as inheritance tax wasn't applicable and could be seen as deprivation of asset subject to capital gains tax dsis agreed not to do it dsis suggested not me that it is agreed the zillions she has been lent previously come off her inheritance so I thought everything was ok

she block me tried to keep contact with adult dc which at the time i encouraged but they thought she was petty messaging hope you both and your dad are ok we had a big family chat as dh cousin is also dsis best friend we would message and she would read but not reply I left as it was awkward

She blocked us all we were excluded from family events I get a letter from opg I have been removed from poa i did see paperwork for an equity release mortgage at dm tried to talk her out of it but she said dsis needed the money. I asked her had she changed her will she said she wanted her money to go to who looked after her so as I have been excluded i presume she has I can almost hear dsis saying that It was them who reported it ss as dsis pretended to be dm at first and that she wanted the money to tide her over until she comes into money

I then get an alert from the land register there is with a different company a charge on dm house so dsis has done it

Probably because I am going through it but the time frames the bank statements removal of poa equity release is it not quite obvious what is going on?

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EmotionalBlackmail · 05/04/2025 15:18

IsItWickedNotToCare · 05/04/2025 09:36

I was thinking of using a small amount of my mum's (dementia) money to pay me something towards the cost of me having to drop a day's work in order to look after her, clean, shop and take her out, to stop her being so isolated. But I would agree this with my sibling in advance, we are joint poa. I am entitled to pay myself out of the attendance allowance she receives. It's only because I will be taking a large reduction in earnings and pension, and carers cost twice as much.
Your sister should have agreed this with you if that's why she's taking money.

Be very careful doing this! It is possible but you need to make sure you’ve covered your back. I looked into it at one point but financially it made no sense as I earn far more than a carer and have a mortgage to pay so it was better to pay for a carer with the money.
https://www.moorebarlow.com/blog/can-i-be-paid-to-care-for-a-relative/

Can I be paid to care for a relative?

More and more people are giving up work completely or taking extended time-off to care for an elderly relative, something that isn’t always easy emotionally or financially.

https://www.moorebarlow.com/blog/can-i-be-paid-to-care-for-a-relative/

UnhappyAndYouKnowIt · 05/04/2025 09:54

OP, there is another issue you might be able to raise with the OPG, depending on your mum's capacity.

The right to a family life is protected under the Human Rights Act, so if your sister is preventing visitation on your mum's behalf then it is a safeguarding concern.

I have seen a situation like that investigated by the OPG in the past.

IsItWickedNotToCare · 05/04/2025 09:36

I was thinking of using a small amount of my mum's (dementia) money to pay me something towards the cost of me having to drop a day's work in order to look after her, clean, shop and take her out, to stop her being so isolated. But I would agree this with my sibling in advance, we are joint poa. I am entitled to pay myself out of the attendance allowance she receives. It's only because I will be taking a large reduction in earnings and pension, and carers cost twice as much.
Your sister should have agreed this with you if that's why she's taking money.

Original poster

Spendysis · 05/04/2025 09:16

@rhino666 I am sorry you are going through something similar
It took a year from opg acknowledging my concerns and agreeing to investigate before it was assigned to an investigator

In that year adult ss were involved and they contacted the police as they were unsure of dm capacity they police went out said dm was fine and closed the case unless opg came up with something

When it got signed to an investigator they advised me I wouldn't get any updates or be contacted unless they needed information. I did get a call from an independent doctor they had contacted to assess dm as they were struggling to contact her

I recently contacted opg to advise dm house was now up for rent obviously I had to find out from a neighbour she is now living with dsis and see the board up. they did come back to ms saying dsis can do this as poa but the concern is dsis getting the rental income and for me to pass her details to thr estate agent which i did just that they then informed my dsis who logged a complaint against me with the police i explained i had been told to do this and they apologised. they werent interested in the case they had open previously the officer thaf called me knew nothing about it nor the fact that dm house has been cleared and my stuff things like ornaments and jewellery i was given when i was born or christened hadnt been returned to me

The whole thing is a farce and I am not holding up much hope I think dsis will get away with it. I really don't see how difficult it is prove what she has been doing it's there in black and white on dm bank statements dsis was transferring money to her own account and using it for her own personal spending and therefore doesn't have receipts showing it was for dm care

It's not even really about the money it's the lack of contact and relationship with dm she's 85 now it was her birthday this week I won't be able to get this time back with her neither will my dc her only gc

It's awful I've lost my family and some family friends i do have a supportive dh and young adult dc but I've not done anything wrong and i feel opg ss and the police have failed to protect dm who whether or not has capacity is a vulnerable adult especially now dsis has isolated her from me and my family

I just want closure now but and i feel awful saying this i think I will only get that when one of them passes away dsis isn't in good health either I doubt i will be told when dm passes away or get the chance to say goodbye and it makes me sad and causes me anxiety

Curious to know if dsis has changed her will when she had dm change hers as it was to go to my dc but she is nc with them now and she has no other family

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rhino666 · 04/04/2025 09:41

I found your thread on a google search whilst looking for Public Guardian reviews. Your situation is so similar to my own, that I have joined mumsnet, just to share with you. We are clearly victims of a tried and tested technique used by money orientated, selfish individuals like our sisters to deprive us of our inheritance, family relationships and other safeguarding rights. This is facilitated and in fact aided and abetted by the supposed Public Guardian(PG) who is not fit for purpose.
My sister cancelled our powers of attorney and replaced them with new ones for her and her husband. The new POAs were in force months before the old ones were cancelled and like you, the first I heard were termination letters from the Public Guardian. It took a lot of persuading to get the PG to investigate but they treat me as a non POA and as you know that means no information provided. They will only investigate from the date of the newer POA because the old one was cancelled. Of course we are not POA because the PG did not carry out any due diligence when cancelling our original POA. I asked them when would they suggest it would be legitimate, when a brother and sister have POA, for the brother to be replaced by the sister's husband. I still do not have an answer to that and at the moment my complaint is trying to reach Amy Holmes, Director of the PG.
Like yours, my investigation has taken a long time for the PG to address and even now, I am not actually sure if they have started it; I hope your investigation is well underway. As you are aware if the donor dies, they instantly drop the matter, regardless of any findings. My dad is a frail 91 year old with dementia, so given delays to date and other PG foot dragging, he will sadly die before the PG's limited investigation is complete. My argument here is that people in our situation are the injured parties, very rarely the donor, so the Guardian of the Public should really do their job with respect to the donor's estate and the original, intended wishes of the donor. In my case there is significant tax not paid, so the PG would be serving the public purse too.

The PG also look for mental incapacity in the donor and if that is not found will not take action. Mental incapacity would be a factor if attorneys were directly stealing from the donor for their equal benefit against the donor's wishes, when of sound mind. In our case and I suggest the vast majority of cases it is supposed equal beneficiaries having their inheritance pilfered by a sibling. For this to work there is coercive control that relies on the donor being vulnerable and maybe not capable of making good decisions but basically of sound mind. Coercive control is a crime and therefore only actionable by the police, so we have to call it undue influence, a different way of describing the same thing, so it can be dealt with as a civil matter by a solicitor and/or the PG.

You have helped me confirm the obscene inadequacy of the PG and given the clarity of this situation, I intend to pursue it, firstly with the PG director, Amy Holmes and when that likely fails, I am thinking perhaps the Daily Telegraph or another newspaper may be interested in exposing the disgrace which is The Public Guardian. The PG really are the only sensible option for people like you and I. They absorb our efforts and energy to put matters right and then do their best to ensure that nothing is done to remedy. Their processes are seriously flawed by design and their rules are a deliberate obstruction to all that is fair. In our cases all the money taken should be put back into the estate, the POA should be removed and we as previous POAs should either be reinstated or given deputyship. I also suggest that any access to bank accounts should be removed, along with trusteeship of wills, etc.

I think it highly unlikely the PG will be of any use to me whatsoever but I sincerely hope they can assist you. There is a hope but I have not found any evidence of anyone who has been fully and correctly served by the PG yet. In that respect I encourage you to explore the coercive control, criminal option with the Police. When I work out who to actually contact, that is the route I will be taking. We owe ourselves and families the right to deal with the pain and suffering our sister's have caused and if that means police involvement, then so be it.

Original poster

Spendysis · 09/03/2025 21:20

Dh has messaged his cousin who is dsis best friend who claims to be on neither side but despite me telling her what is going on what dsis has done is obviously turning a blind eye and clearly in dsis side

He texted asking if everything is ok with dm as we have seen the house is being cleared and asked where she was now living after 5 hours she was with dsis at dm house today clearing it out we saw her car there she's replied everyone is ok ignoring where dm is dh asked again and she avoiding answering the question

I guess dm is still alive for now then

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Original poster

Spendysis · 08/03/2025 15:55

@MissMoneyFairy we only live 5 minutes away dh mate was working on the house next door this week and asked if we knew the house was being cleared as dsis her friend and a van was there emptying out sofas and furniture. Dh drove past and even the garage has been cleared out the door was open

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MissMoneyFairy · 08/03/2025 15:40

The opg will end it's investigation when dm passes but concerned parties can report it to the police. How do you know your sister is clearing her house.

Original poster

Spendysis · 07/03/2025 23:27

Stupid question but I am not thinking straight when dm passes i presume the opg investigation just stops as there is no longer a poa despite their findings so i presume dsis just gets away with it. Will i be notified at all

Dsis is currently clearing dm house out the last few days it not in right move yet I have no idea if she has recently passed away or not I doubt dm will be in a care home as dsis won't want to spend her inheritance as this is what this whole nightmare situation is about dm money not that I was even interested in it Not sure how i could find out but I haven't had any sympathy cards from relatives who probably aren't aware of the situation and send me a Christmas card each year and dads grave hasn't been distributed yet

I doubt dsis would contact me if dm was at end of life to give me the chance to say goodbye and I doubt she will tell me when she has passed but I am stressing as me and dh go away in the next few days for the first time without dc 20 and 23 and I don't want them to have to deal with this while we are away but why should i cancel when i probably won't hear anything anyway

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Original poster

Spendysis · 04/02/2025 23:19

I am really struggling with anxiety i feel like i am going to burst into tears constantly and keep feeling like i am going to have a panic attack

I do know who dm gp there are 2 at the surgery that mainly deal with dm and dsis as she is in poor health also unfortunately my dsis is really friendly with them she's a nurse and they discuss dm with her I am at the same surgery and have been many times to discuss my mental health regarding this family issue and it's really difficult when I see the same doctors I am married so have a different surname and I want to scream do you know which family members I am talking about

I haven't forwarded the email yet to dsis because every time i go to I type out a message then delete it i have emailed opg to advise if the doctor hasn't been able to get hold of dm i have heard she is unwell so may be in hospital or at dsis and sent similar to ss maybe they can find out something

I can just ignore the email they have no idea i still use that email address but then I think its not fair on them or on dm but then non of this is fair on me

Dsis has had the money spend it can't get that back changed the will doubt there is anything I can do so I hoped when the time came she would of at least contacted me and dc so we could say goodbye but I now doubt she will I don't even know what i would say to dm I love her but I am hurt and disappointed she's allowed dsis to manipulate her

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MissMoneyFairy · 30/01/2025 11:02

Do you know who mums GP is, you could start there. They won't give out much info but you can make them aware of your concern, they could try a home visit, there's nothing stopping you going round to her house with them.,