Help please not sure what to do with my parents,

Mum was asleep watching the tennis so Dad decided to have a nap. I took a chance and woke mum up to say " you'd be more comfortable in bed and dads already asleep". She was happy with that suggestion ( she will go anywhere my dad does) so they are now asleep in the spare / their room. I'll check them in an hour. I'm kind of worried that if they sleep too long they will be up all night. Anyway, taking this few minutes of calm with gratitude. Hopefully they will sleep a bit longer as they were up much earlier than my sister said ( 8am and she said midday).
I;ve booked mum in for a skin check and the closest time they had turns out to be her birthday! Not ideal but she has some awful looking lumps on her arms and head , plus her younger brother died of melanoma. So , I'll take her for cake first and then the 2pm appt. Ta for everyone listening to me bore on and on and on. I'm like Mrs Elf!!!
I booked the appt mainly because she asked me every 5 minutes to "feel this lump M" So now I can say already made the appt mum. x

Wish me luck until Monday and hopefully I can get some kind of carer to help for a couple of hours a day. My sister goes to work 3 days a week so only has 2 days on her own with them. she leaves them on the weekend too for a market stall. And apparently they sleep the whole time they are with her for those 2 days. I'm hiding in the 2nd lounge room and keeping the dogs company otherwise mum says she terrifies of them so I've locked them in with me.Gosh this is going to be a long week. And DH after not working for a year is back working full time. Of all the times!! And it's school holidays here. Couldn't be a worse time. Sigh. I'm off to replace DH as the minder and make them something to eat. Sorry if I sound like I don't love them . I do. So much. But after you've been asked "where's my hand bag?" and "when are we going home?" 30 times by 10 am it's hard. I know other people do this and worse , hats off to them.

Well , just like sister told me "they never wander at my house" even though my son who was sleeping on the lounge after a family gathering, and my youngest have had to walk her back to her room. That wasn't true. Though I guess maybe as it was Dad who wandered last night instead.
Oh and she told me that mum always sleeps until midday, well she was up and dressed by 8.30 and I had to sort their tablets for them as they have no idea. Now they are trying to put cards in order, they've been doing that for 3 hours. I put the dog food in the bowl and got "oohwah I can't breathe" . It's any slightly louder than normal noise. And mum keeps saying she is frightened. It's quite distressing.

If anyone is still bothered reading we survived one day!! A lot of mum saying she is frightened, the dogs but not just the dogs, any loud nose, someone knocking on the door etc she says "ooowaa" and grabs her heart, thats new and not great. Dog knocked dads glass off the coffee table but that was fixed as we have one of those carpet water cleaner things. Otherwise went ok. She ate barely anything, but sister tells me she has't been for weeks.
From what I can gather from the quick handover my sister gave me - she gets up about midday or 1pm and dad makes her and him lunch and gives her a glass of wine. Then they watch TV for a couple of hours .Then she eats a tiny bit of dinner, takes her tablets and goes back to bed,Dad's tablets are completely out of whack, 3 days behind , mum's seem to be fine so not sure what to do about that.I'm just going to keep going with mums and give dad his new pack. This is about as stressed as I get so hopefully things will improve tomorrow.
Mum doesn't even know where she is and also couldn't pick 3 of her grandchildren out of a photo of just those 3, and she didn't know which was which name. It's very sad. She has loved those kids from the day they were born, done a 2 hour train trip regularly to come and stay with me when my DH was away with work. Had them stay with her and dad so we could go on holidays from when they were young. Pretty much the grandmother everyone wants, and now its all gone.Not going to cry so going to bed, as I have to be sleeping lightly in case she wanders around the house again. x
PS Only good thing got onto "my aged care" got my self added as a representative of Dad ( always was and for mum but something went wrong) so thats sorted and she gave me a list of things that they "subsidise" so I'm assumung that 50/50. Weirdly they gave 8 approvals ( OT, cleaning, personal care etc) to Dad ( who is basically looking after mum and 4 to mum). The wonders of beaureucracy!
I'll try to phone on Monday and see what I can sort , because there is also the 2 houses problem, will they approve grip rails in both our houses etc ( tbh I will just buy a grip rail and get DH to install it but things are going to get much bigger than that. Stay tuned for the next installment of the saga which will be either 1. a health crisis with one of my parents or 2. my sister buggering off to queensland ( which she muttered as she ran away after dropping mum and dad off this morning that she was going to see her DP, I have no idea where he works all I know is that he took a FIFO job for a year and that was 20 years ago and he's still FIFO.Maybe she's finally cracked it and said I'm going to live where you are? Who knows,It's not a close relationship obviously, maybe she's giving him an ultimatum. I have NFI.

eta - FIFO is fly in fly out, lots of mines and train lines in remote places use it. It ca be one week on one week off or 2 weeks on one week off etc.
Thanks agai for listening to my ramblings x

It's very hard to find a double room, and we had just found the one that my sister took them out of. The vast majority are single rooms, but my parents are basically intertwined mum would go into dad's room and they would fall asleep together in the single bed!. Plus spend all day together. I think that may be why they got bumped to the top of the list for a double room.

Oh forgot to add sister rang with a shopping list for mum and dad today, Down to the brand. I can't work out if that was thoughtful or bossy. Doesn't matter really. She also tole me to drive 40 minutes to het their tablets ( webster packs if people know what I mean) . I rang the chemist yesterday, they posted them express and they are on my kitchen bench now. This has been going on since April and it could easily moved to a chemist near us but when I suggested that she said crankily"we can worry about that later". Um, If you want to spend a fortune on petrol and 2 hours of your time then go you. I'm not. Actually that is something I may be able to get done when she is away. MOve the prescriptions to a local chemist.
I honestly am so tired and over it that I don't know what else to do.
My young lawyer son sent me a link to a law firm local to me that he found. You can have a free 20 minute q&a or have lunch ( not sure who pays lol) . I'm thinking of taking that up as they are specialist family lawyers.
Things really should be easier at such a stressful time of life for everyone.
Ta all for reading my thoughts. I'll try to cut down, well there will be nothing come Friday as I will be 24/7 carer. x

Wish me luck for Friday morning. Sister is dropping them off. (they couldn't find their tablets today , sister thinks they have got out of order!) So they had lunch here today with no tablets, mum saying she can't breathe if she has to walk more than 2 metres. Dad pretty good but we were playing cards and I said just pass me that Ace of hearts and will have a full deck to start playing. He picked up at least 8 cards before he got the Ace. In the end I said Dad your hand is over it and he gave me the 3 cards his hand was over.
Mum spends her entire time asking "where's my handbag?" And I mean 20 times in a ten minute journey, and then continuously. We put it on her lap, the chair next to her, hanging off her chair it makes no difference. She has 2 other questions and a request to go and see her high school ( 3 hours away and knocked down decades ago). I just say "sure"
Main problem is the dogs.
From loving them for years to scared of them in a month. All anxious about them touching them. We are going to block off the second lounge for the dogs because I almost went mad just at lunch today. "It's licking me" "No mum it's just sniffing". "Take it away".
Obvious solution is to leave the dogs outside but as they are indoor dogs they bark to be let in. My neighbour has PTSD and wears earphones, well used to, and told me never to contact her again after 3 years of friendship because I put the dogs out for 15 minutes when mum arrived unexpectedly with a bad result from the doctor. Neighbour said she was sick of their noise. Odd as they are indoor dogs. But thats not important except I can't put the dogs out for however long mum and dad are here. That was the beginning of the end for mum and dads health and my friendship with my neighbour ( TBH - I reacted badly).
Anyway, mum and dad are much more important . I waited on the phone for my aged care until I had to go. I've found a place that will take them for 2 weeks respite. But again. they won't agree. Very expensive but gives everyone a break, but they won't go.
Sorry for rambling, I'm using this like my diary!

I could maybe take my DH along but then Dsis will be pissed that her DP isnt' there. The most obvious choice is my lawyer son ( only young though) but super calm and super confident and would come if I asked him. Other choice is my oldest DC but they don't know the legalites but super chilled and can argue politely with anyone. ( he's a govt policy advisor so that is what he does all day). I honestly feel like walking away, but I have to have mum and dad the end of January at least for a week at this stage. But I don't know when it is going to stop! And I love them so much and I hate them being alone 3 days a week. So I was bringing them here 2 of those days and they suddenly got scared of my dogs. And dad fell over
Believe it or not it will cost more to board the dogs than have mum and dad in respite care. The system is fecked

As it's joint it doesn't matter what I do , sad

Thats the meeting we are going to have next week. I will say Yes we should sign the POA and the Enduring Guardinship. My sister will say No. My mum will say Yes . My dad will say No. He wll seriously get my sister to drive to the lawyer ( who was chosen by my mum 40 years ago because they were a a cousin of her best friend) And that will be the end of that. Wish me well but it's hopeless. I love my mum so much but I don't know what to do.
Thanks to everyone who has got through my muddled thinking.

I did ask her to move her holiday to February as my DH hasn't worked for a year or so mainly health reasons), and then my DS12 would be at school so I could spend all day focussing on my parents. No response, except that she had already got the leave approved. SHe's worked there for 10 years , I'm astounded that they wouldn't move her leave by 1 month.

I can't do that the room is gone, and we are now at the back of the queue. I have found a place that will take them for respite, it's not cheap and I'm not wealthy . Translating into pounds its 60GBP every day plus a lot of extras.And I have to pay for the whole 2 weeks even though they will be there for 10 days. And they will hate me.
I've decided to just bring them here for my sisters holidays ( only because my 12yo is here) and he can look after the dogs and the house whenever I have to take the parents anywhere. I love my mum soooooo much, so does everyone that knows her but with DH starting a new job tomorrow I'm feelng very overwhelmed. I will get through it though. I've been through worse. x