Saying they are poor but they are not?

The past few months I ( through my work) have had to listen for 8 hours a day to pensioners ranting about loss of WFP ( even when they are loaded), illegal immigrants taking all the money ( had to put the phone down on one just before Xmas), how they should be getting more government money even when they are getting large amounts already , how they shouldn't have to pay for care from their AA etc. I'm totally done with it.

This! For about two years my DF was delighted with his extra £400 a month that he was splashing around on my nephews etc and then he was pissed off that he had to pay £25 an hour for two hours a week care (well why can't your mum just do it) and then I made him pay an extra £25 a week for a cleaner - it's what the money was for you bozo!

And the winter fuel allowance, ugh...I am a bit miffed about the tv licence fee given for a lot of older people it can be their only company but while they are paying £115 a month for sky (yes, £115, that doesn't include broadband or anything else, just a ton of sport and films etc) I actually think they can carry on coughing up for it just fine!

I know my mum and dad worked hard (we were properly skint until I was about 14) to get what they have now but they do seem to have some kind of misconception that they should be getting more from the govt...like they aren't aware there's a spending crisis going on.

Sorry this does sound like I'm moaning about my clients - I know I need a new job before anyone says anything. It is on my list for the new year ! Like op it just baffles me when people are getting so much and plead poverty.

I filled in the forms for DM and she gets the full weekly amount of just over £100.
I was partly doing it to encourage her to get a cleaner as I really don't want to have to do it - work full time and live an hour away - but no despite her osteoporosis and macular degeneration she says she will struggle on and I will continue to feel guilty if I don't do it and resentful, angry and exhausted if I do.

Meanwhile DF used the backdated lump sum to buy a new TV .

You only need to have difficulties with daily living activities/ personal care several times a day or night to qualify. In my experience it's given out very easily to most who apply as long as you send in a couple of medical letters. It's very rare that anyone ever checks up what care is being given. So many older people get it and it then qualifies them to so much more in the way of benefits. Honestly the amounts of money I see a lot of these pensioners getting and they still plead poverty. Absolutely baffling. When I come to do benefits checks for people, half of them have been getting AA for years and don't even know they are getting it and some can't even say why they are getting it ! We get loads ringing in and asking to claim AA ( " martin Lewis says pensioners can claim and extra £4k a year " !! ) then it turns out they have already been claiming it for years. Goodness knows where they think that £108 a week has been coming from ! I do appreciate they are on a fixed income and they fret about heating costs but really many of them have a higher income than I do and no housing costs.

I think the recent high inflation rises have panicked many. I know I find it hard to countenance when the cost of basic items seem to have doubled in a year. Technically I know we can still afford it, but it is worrying.

It must be harder for older folk who will remember when things cost a lot less. We haven't been out with my DPs since 2020, but I remember my DF calling out that the price of sausage and chips was outrageous at a mere £9.99. Bearing in mind that they have a net worth of just over a million and generous pensions, they could easily afford it.

But hearing someone go on and on and on about the same thing is pretty bloody tedious.

There's only so much sympathy i can muster.

It can be spent on whatever you want.

It's intended to help towards costs arising from your care needs, which needn't mean an actual carer - it can be physio, taxis, ready-prepped food, social activities to support mental wellbeing etc. But there's no obligation to spend it on an 'approved' type of help, and if you want to use it for any general spending or savings then you can.

Isn't A A attendance allowance to pay someone to help you or am I wrong?

She's a pensioner! She has low/ limited income have some empathy!!

Thanks - she has the single person discount but I will definitely check the credits. I think my mum has already done this as there is a lot of chatter about a friend who never worked and gets pension credits so receives a significant amount more despite never planning for the future. She loves GB news and Nigel farage but I still don’t want to see her cold.

But yes, she absolutely can afford it. There’s no question.

I was hoping it would inspire her to realise how silly she is not turning the heating on but I also can’t imagine it would be that expensive. If we are cold then we turn the heating on and we don’t pay £200 for both.

she does get a state pension, a small private pension and attendance allowance. I believe that’s all and that’s all she’d entitled to. I’d still be happy to pay. Being cold is awful.

Has she no logical thinking about the doctor telling her her heart is not working properly and she needs to take the tablets to stay healthy/ alive?

She sounds bloody difficult!

On what basis does she get Attendance Allowance? !

I agree that the siblings should be getting this sorted between them. Or dealing with the consequences of not being able to get her to agree. Perhaps a trusted person like a GP advising her to give someone PoA would help?

Your mil can choose whoever she trusts to be her POA. Most people would choose one of their children. I think you can even choose more than one person to be POA.

From what you say her behaviour seems unusual although that might be how she has always been. Becoming more extreme in her 'unusual but normal to her' behaviour can also be an early sign of dementia. Do you know why she refuses to take her medications?

Could be seen as a form of dementia in its own way.

Is there anyway anybody has been scamming her with her mentioning odd things like people kissing her at the bus stop.

Sounds like she is mixing up power of attorney and pre paid funeral plans which are always being advertised on daytime tv.