Just to feel sad about the long slow mental and physical decline of old age?

Are there exxamples of good old ages as I think just in my little sphere old age has brought only sadness Lots of good examples! David Attenburgh, Maggie Smith, Judi Dench …

Friend of mine, having just completed 200 marathons, has decided at 83 to drop to half marathons.

Another group of friends having all through their 70s done volunteer work in the hills and spent their spare time on cave exploration, are now in their 80s and showing no sign of stopping.

My father, who was actively volunteering until his early 90s. He’s now bed-bound, but his needs are less, and he’s happy to be warm and comfortable and well-fed.

See if you can persuade your elderly relative to check her hearing. It often starts as loss of high frequencies, so the world is as noisy as ever, but you can’t hear s and t and similar sounds, so speech sounds mumbled and it’s just too much effort to follow conversation, easier to tune out.

Two things I remember…old age is no place for wimps…because it can be tough. And the words of the bible and a Judy Collins song…for every thing there is a season.

How old is your relative?
I recall this behavior from my dad as his dementia was kicking in. He made no effort - as if he couldn't see the point. The truth was he was finding interaction increasingly hard. He'd been a sociable, bright man who thrived on company, and this just slipped away. He eventually lost the power of speech.
Sorry if my reply depresses you further. But all I can advise is to continue being kind and keep including your relative unless it causes distress. Hugs and hand holds are great for older people. I think they get fewer and miss physical contact.