What a day to die!

anything else I can do?! Divert her on to planning the funeral. Hymns? Who to do the eulogy? Dress code? A lot of funeral directors put prices online, so you can see exactly how much that fancy coffin will cost you.

She’ll need to keep busy after a shock like that, not the death itself, but the sudden decline.

Can I just say

we had friends who shopped around for an undertaker

a few phone calls to get the price for a basic funeral, the cost varied by £2000. They only paid £3k but one company wanted £5k for the same ( £1000 of that was the cremation fees) . It’s a time people are vulnerable and you can get a price over the phone.

you don’t have to pay more and they won’t all charge the same

It will all work out, surely ' antsy' isn't the right word for someone sadly widowed on Christmas day.She may well be in shock

🤔

Sorry for your loss

i booked a registrar appointment online before I had the paperwork

the gp then sent paperwork directly to registra

so if you can book an appointment for next Monday online, you can always cancel the appointment but harder to make one

I’m in Ireland too and the only ridiculous thing here is your unhelpful ‘show offy’ post.

Actually, what is ridiculous is the people that pretend to care (in Ireland) by going to the Removal, and only want to gawp and gossip. The fakery is nauseating.

This is ridiculous. My uncle died Christmas Eve morning, was buried on 27th, held up by one day due to Christmas. Much more efficient than the system in (presumably) England.

Sorry for your loss.

We've dealt with a death in hospital a few weeks ago. Don't worry about the 5 days thing. It's a lot easier than the previous time I did it, which involved a lot of to-ing and fro-ing to pick up paperwork from A and take it to B to get another bit of paper to take to C.

The lead doctor and the medical examiner discuss cause of death. Once they've agreed, they contact you and let you know either that the death can be registered or that it's going to the coroner. If it can be registered, they will send their paperwork directly to the registrar and it's only at that point the 5 day count starts and you ring to make the appointment. We were able to get a same day one.

For now, just get together the paperwork you'll need to take to the registrar (I think birth cert was needed) and choose an undertaker. But don't worry if you can't get hold of the latter immediately - the hospital can't release your FiL to the undertaker until the paperwork has been done, and can look after him for longer if needed.

The registrar will also set up the Tell Us Once process, which then lets you do a lot of the official notifications (pension and other government departments) online. That's very easy to do, and there's another similar service that covers most of the banks and other financial institutions. Your bank's website will have a bereavement section that will give you the details.

Sorry for your loss,please dont stress about registration time lines.My mother died 14 December 2 years ago,Post Mortem required so DC not obtained until 9 January,first appointment available and funeral end January.
Delays caused by Christmas and NY bank holidays are unavoidable.

I’m sorry for your loss. Don’t panic about the 5 days. When DMiL died a couple of years ago it took the hospital nearly two weeks to certify the death. Early December and apparently all doctors were busy on the wards so nobody had time. Nobody at the registry office said a thing. It then took ages for the funeral directors to get het body as nobody at hospital answered the phone. We’ve had the same problems actually getting through to someone from the team who were dealing with death certificates etc.

However I dealt with the deaths before one has to book appointments ie pre Covid

Sorry for your loss, but having dealt with more than 1 death over a Xmas time, it is hard but you will be ok.

Also should add often you can't get an appointment within 5 days anyway! I booked online and there weren't a great deal of appointments free at the time.

Sending condolences. My dad died the August bank holiday weekend so we had similar delays. Due to a shortage of catholic priests we also had a delay of several weeks for the requiem Mass.

If your MIL really feels that she needs to do something maybe suggest things that you can be ready for e.g. clothes for the coffin, list of who needs to be told and who will do the telling, type of funeral, hymns, poems, readings and who would read etc?

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wouldn't worry about the 5 days thing, as someone upthread said I think it's 5 days from when the ME says you can. I was out of the country when one of my parents died so it was at least 10 days before the death could be registered.

What exactly would happen if you didn’t register within 5 days. You going to get arrested if it’s day 6 or 7?

Poor Lady, that must have really come out of the blue almost.

Just support her as best you can by being present, same with your husband or wife.

A bit of fresh air and change of scenery from the house might help even just a little.

Going to be alot to process for her, so a bit of leeway is going to be necessary.

Much love to you all x

So sorry OP. My df died of cancer on Xmas day 10 years ago, so subsequent Xmas days are always tinged with sadness as it’s a time I think about him more than other days.

I am so sorry for your loss and have an inkling of how your poor MiL feels. My Dad's passing coincided with the Jewish Passover, which coincided with Easter weekend and was capped off by the fact that for technical reasons, the coroner had to sign Dad off for burial. Jewish burial law says that the funeral should be the day after the death where humanly possible. In this case, it wasn't, because the law of the land has to take precedence and the extra 24 hours or so were very stressful. In the end, things came together, we got the paperwork sorted and the people we dealt with couldn't have been kinder. But - and it was no-one's fault - the timing was awful.

Once things did get underway though, it all happened quite quickly. One thing we found useful was to over-estimate how many copies of the death certificate would be needed rather than the reverse. Banks, solicitors and various others often need them and they don't all accept photocopies or scans. Once again, condolences to you and yours.

I have no practical advice that wouldn't be a repeat of PPs. Just wanted to extend my sympathies. X

(DH is CofE priest) If your mum feels a need to talk to a priest she can contact the hospital chaplains. They continue to provide 24/7 cover to the very best of their ability. Christmas will be busy as they will also be doing bedside communions for those unable to get to their home churches or well enough to attend a hospital chapel service. If a message is left with them then the duty chaplain will respond just as soon as the6 are able to. they cannot organise a funeral but they can offer some support to those in shock from a death.

My DH is finally home and shattered and trying not to fall asleep in reheated lasagna. I have not seen him for the past two weeks due to extra services, school events, work events, extra church social events etc on top of all the meetings he normally does. I think most clergy put in the kind of hours that would make a junior doctor cry on the lead up to Christmas and almost all take time off between Boxing Day and the first Sunday after Christmas. For your mum this will be the worst moment of her life. the world continues around you whilst your life and heart lie in shatters and your own world has stopped. At that point remembering vicars need sleep after a very busy advent will not register. nor should it. Please reassure her the vicar will respond as soon as they ca. This may not be as soon as she feels she needs but they will respond just as soon as they have had a chance to rest and have a few days off after working a week average of 70+ hours over 6/7 day weeks for all of December.

So sorry for your loss, I'm sure that your support won't go unnoticed though OP, I do believe that it's 5 working days to register the death so I wouldn't stress too much.

Hugs x

Isn't it 5 working days to register ? Also nobody is going to get cross with a relative, who's loved one died on Christmas day, if its a few days over the 5 days when they register the death.

My father died a few days ago too. Feel you there OP