Disturbing finds in house clearance

@WearyAuldWumman you have certainly done enough and the house clearance has absolutely been aversion therapy for me. I’d never willingly take on another.

I’m getting through boxes and now know several auction houses and outlets but it is so time consuming. It is also exhausting when relatives cannot let go of stuff but they want you to keep/store it so it doesn’t go to waste/could be a memory for the person with dementia who now has one room.

Well done for saying no @WearyAuldWumman . It’s extraordinary how blind hoarders can be to the way others perceive their space.

I have an elderly friend who has fallen out with me because - among other things - I've refused to be her executor.

I was executor for my parents and had to clear their house. I've only recently got my spare room back from all the boxes in it...

Dh died 4 yrs ago. I was his executor and I'm still dealing with items he inherited from his parents.

There is no way I'm dealing with the friend's house. My own house is full of stuff the now as I'm still sorting through things but her place...

You literally cannot see the walls in her living room. She has shelving hanging from the ceiling.

My kitchen surfaces are cluttered. (I'm dealing with it - honestly!) However, her kitchen surfaces are cluttered with items which have nothing to do with the kitchen. Her hallway is lined with shelves adorned with random memorabilia.

I've lost count of the cushions in her living room. They appear to covered with brooches from QVC. The last time I visited, she cleared a space on the floor for a cushion for me.

So far as I'm aware, her bedroom is crammed full. Her bath is full of various items.

She's in an upstairs flat with an internal staircase from the outside door to her hallway. There are items - books, ornaments, God knows what - on every single step. I believe that the attic is full.

There is no way that I'm going to be responsible for clearing out that place. I've tried to help her by doing tip runs. The more I take away, the more she buys over the internet.

I can't do it.

PS She also has a cat and the place is full of cat associated toys and other items.

@Kittylickingplate yes to enjoying the stories - and I think some posters have limited or no experienced a) the trauma of house clearance or b) the little griefs along the way of dementia.

This thread is in elderly parents and was certainly not judgy of people using (or cleaning 😂) sex toys. It was about the discoveries that shock or disturb you. I’ve also said already that I posted to understand if I was being ridiculous and it happens all the time, which is seems it does!

@AConstipatedAccountantJustCantBudget wins the thread - even funnier if you’ve spent months dealing with auctioneers, like I’ve had to!

To all you judgey people, have you worked in an Aged Care home?
Some of the older people can get quite physical and I was groped more than once by several gentleman. There was one chap I was very scared of and made the male nurse take him to the lavvy.

I get what you are saying OP. You were startled by what you saw. Really enjoying the fun (and poignant stories) you negative Nellies can go boil your heads!

What, so that all of the auctioneers can get together and have a mass debate to ascertain their value?!

Of course you open locked boxes. What do you suggest? Just thrown them out? Potentially throw out precious jewellery or stock bonds?

Surely one of the last few things we do for those we've loved who died (or lost mental capacity) is tidy up their life with dignity. No body wants to imagine parents sex lives anymore than they want to go through their other intimate stuff. We all have things in the wardrobe or bathroom cabinet we would chose to share.

Don't judge someone cos they maybe used to have a few kinks

My eldest son helped me clear my dad's house when he died. My DS was 19 at the time. In the kitchen there was a pine dresser with best plates in. On top of this dresser we found, slowly but surely fourteen opened packets of viagra. My dad had a new GF after my mum died, but both were in there 80s. DS found this to be hilarious. It gave him a more positive view of his grandad who he now describes as a legend.

I agree @YellowAsteroid I think it’s a question of degrees. It’s one thing finding your late mothers vibrator, it’s another finding a male relative’s bondage gear, butt plugs etc especially if it was your father, which would make you question his sexuality ( it would me). I had the very unenviable task of clearing my hoarder brothers home while he was sectioned, I was knee deep in rubble, books, photos, history magazines ( if he had one book about the Algerian war he had 200) electrical cords and other random shit, then I found his porn stash, that was a low point, I refrained from taking it to the tip as I had to accept he had the right to use porn.

I really don’t feel I should have to justify myself but here goes. I don’t know if you’ve ever cleared a hoarded house, but to give some idea, this was also our late fathers house, also a hoarder, who died of dementia. The floorboards in my brothers room were collapsing in places. Re the pornography, I don’t think many siblings want that level of insight into each others sexual kinks. But maybe that’s just me. I hope that answers your questions and it’s the last I’ll say on the matter.

My dad went into his parents' loft to clear things out after they'd died. He climbed the ladder, lifted the loft hatch, shone a torch inside and nearly passed out when he saw a face staring back at him, glassy eyed and mouth agape. It was a blown up sex doll that my adult cousin, who had lived there recently, had stashed away to "enjoy" while his grandparents were out.
She was not alone up there, in fact ahe had quite a few companions in various states of deflation.
This cued much debate about whether to hand the little vinyl harem back to my cousin and, if so, whether to fully deflate them and hand him a box, or to pump them all up, put some frocks on them and send them round to his new house in a taxi. I thought the application of some hot chilli paste into their orifices beforehand would spice things up a bit more for him.
In the end Dad and his brother decided that this little ready made party would be too thrilling so they popped 'em and put 'em in the bin.
I still think it was a wasted opportunity.

I really don’t feel I should have to justify myself but here goes. I don’t know if you’ve ever cleared a hoarded house, but to give some idea, this was also our late fathers house, also a hoarder, who died of dementia. The floorboards in my brothers room were collapsing in places. Re the pornography, I don’t think many siblings want that level of insight into each others sexual kinks. But maybe that’s just me. I hope that answers your questions and it’s the last I’ll say on the matter.