I can't do this anymore

That's great op. Your MIL is very lucky to have you

Such good news for your MIL, and for you. Well done.

So pleased to read your news. Hopefully your MIL will be comfortable and her children can spend time with her knowing she is well cared for. Just as importantly you can spend time with your children and have your home back.

I am very happy for you and very happy for her. That is the right place. Can I say also that hospices are usually lovely and not at all like hospital corridors- I would like to go out in a hospice, nice bed, view, and people who know what they are doing. I'm glad you got to this point.

What a relief for you! I hope the night goes well for you x

Oh thank goodness

How can you 'just take her' in your car when she's a very sick dying woman, is incontinent, highly confused and frail. Do they expect her to sit on a chair in A&E for hours? The mind boggles. I hope the palliative care bed becomes available for her in the next couple of days, OP, for all your sakes.

Sorry if this has been suggested earlier but has anyone mentioned a fast track referral to NHS continuing health care?

If not, I'm happy to give more info about what it is and how it may help.

A health professional i.e. district nurse has to fill in a fast track referral form if MIL is coming towards end of life. This is then sent to the CHC team who screen it and will fund either a package of care or nursing home placement, at no cost to you.

They will have a list of care/nursing home placements available and will help you place.

I've been reading your thread from the start but haven't commented before.

You've done amazingly OP. MIL is very lucky to have you. Hope the coming times are easier for you. Take care of yourself.

Please do keep us updated on this thread. I don't know you, have never been in the position you've been put in but I've been checking this thread multiple times a day and sending you love x

I’ve been reading your thread and sending you all my best wishes, you’ve been amazing to your MIL, I do hope that bed turns up for her.

Hopefully the nurses can fill in the forms soon and you get her in the home over the weekend. I’m thinking of you.

I'd also say when they come, if she does not have capacity, then your husband can make a 'best interests' decision on her behalf, which means he can decide she needs hospital, hospice or a care bed and it is not up to her. If she has brain mets, is confused, wandering, then it is very risky to have her upstairs at night.

People say they want to die in their own bed, but she's not even in her own bed or home, and what they really mean is they want a peaceful and painfree time- she will not get that without either hospice at home in her own home or a hospice or palliative care bed. You are doing the right things here OP, you cannot keep her at your home upstairs where she is a falls risk and needs proper palliative care, let alone the stress on you.

Crossed fingers the palliative bed in a care home comes through and the paperwork is sorted, or you get her into hospital today or tomorrow, SIL can scream and cry, but she is screaming and crying as her mum is dying and she can't face that, you are doing the right thing in the face of this.

Good for you OP, I hope they arrive very soon. You must be exhausted!

You’re doing bloody amazing, hang in there.

Holding a hand for you to keep going 💪

OP have read your whole thread and wow you are a saint with doing what you have been for your Mother in Law as well as your every day stuff with your boys etc. I really hope that the ambulance arrives soon and your Mother in Law is settled in hospital with all that she needs to be comfortable and you have a chance to have a breather, a catch up sleep. I really hope that this all works out for you and your family and your Mother in Law is given the care and respect she deserves at this stage. (And you get to tell your Sister in Law how selfish she has been)

Me too with the metaphorical handholding @ChristmasGrinch24 . Hold the line, you’re nearly there.

Joining the hand holding. You’re doing brilliantly @ChristmasGrinch24

Another hand to hold yours.

You've really been let down by your partner. It doesn't sound like he's doing anything. Just "worrying" isn't enough.

We had this with my MIL, FIL couldn’t cope, I told him to call for an ambulance. They came out, took one look at her, and took her to hospital straight away, GP had seen her 2 days before, she virtually stopped eating, she rallied in hospital for a few days, then went downhill and refused all food and medication. She died peacefully, clean and cared for, which would not have been the case at home.

I think you've been really let down by a lot of people, OP, and I'm so sorry. A close relative died at home earlier this year and he had a catheter and adult nappies, all sorted out by the district nurses. I'm so surprised they wouldn't help out in this case.

I hope the ambulance arrives shortly then you can have some respite.