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Elderly parents

My grandad completely forgot he took out a lifetime mortgage

438 replies

hobbitum · 08/11/2024 14:45

A few hours ago I didn't even know what a lifetime mortgage was and wish I didn't now!

My grandad is 90 and thought he had paid off his mortgage. He was getting annual statements that he was putting to one side and not looking at properly thinking they were just a formality.

He was informed this week a new provider was taking it over and his friend saw the letter and realised what has happened. He has made no repayments or paid off any interest for who knows how long.

My grandad doesn't remember taking this remortgage out and it now looks as if it will take his home and every penny of his when he's gone.

The more I find out the more I'm worried there is no recourse and his own awful mistake. He's devastated, completely shocked and feels a failure - I think this will seriously affect his health which is my main concern. He is of sound mind.

I don't know why I'm posting here to be honest - surely mortgage lenders should be checking in on customers like this and doing a bit more than just sending standard letters and waiting to take everything when you die? I just don't know how he could have got himself into this situation. What on Earth can I do to help?

OP posts:
clearquote · 08/11/2024 15:08

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WillowTree33 · 08/11/2024 15:08

@hobbitum that sounds really rough and agree with others that seems that his stress and mental health is the main concern here as he still has the home. Apologies this isn’t very specific advice and I am writing quickly so not well phrased but would any of the mental health / money related charities and advice groups or something like Samaritans potentially be of help for advice? Not so much re the mortgage but about how to support and reassure him mentally.l in this situation.

if leaving money / home to family was extremely important to him perhaps you can look to reassure him by emphasising all the non-material things he has given the family as his legacy (memories etc)

SockFluffInTheBath · 08/11/2024 15:07

TallulahBetty · 08/11/2024 15:04

Then you need to reassure him, don't you?

"Grandad, I don't want anything from you when you die. All that matters is that you have enough money to live on now, and enjoy your life."

Job done.

This. It needs to be talked about briefly and then put to bed forever. He shouldn’t be ashamed at not leaving an inheritance, that’s not right.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/11/2024 15:07

I don't like these predatory lending practices. Do look into it if only to give the financial institution a headache.

But as far as our DGD is concerned, all the communication should be a 'you can't take it with you' and reassurance that you don't;t care one way or the other.

I'm sorry, it's very hard when an older relative feels shame and guilt. It feels awful when you want them to feel safe and loved.

SilverChampagne · 08/11/2024 15:04

hobbitum · 08/11/2024 14:57

Thank you all for the replies.

Yes it was an equity release thing Safe, for a relatively small amount that has pretty much quietly quadrupled in the background and now could amount to more than the cost of his home.

I'm trying to help him concentrate on the here and now Red as that's all that matters but I'm afraid the stress will deeply affect him, that's my worry at the moment.

But he must have understood that it needed to be repaid…

PandoraSox · 08/11/2024 15:04

It's a matter of his dignity right now, he's shocked and ashamed and feeling guilty that there will be nothing left when he always planned that there would be

I think you need to work hard on reassuring him that this doesn't matter.

Cross post with @TallulahBetty !

clearquote · 08/11/2024 15:04

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TallulahBetty · 08/11/2024 15:04

hobbitum · 08/11/2024 15:03

A harsh but fair enough question in the circs. Yes he is worried about having something to leave and yes, I would be the main beneficiary.

It's a matter of his dignity right now, he's shocked and ashamed and feeling guilty that there will be nothing left when he always planned that there would be.

That is neither here nor there. I'm worried this will impact his health and blight his final years, it's just such a stressful shock for him.

Then you need to reassure him, don't you?

"Grandad, I don't want anything from you when you die. All that matters is that you have enough money to live on now, and enjoy your life."

Job done.

PandoraSox · 08/11/2024 15:03

He has made no repayments or paid off any interest for who knows how long

Do you know if he was making payments and then stopped? if so, why? I wonder if there is any mileage in arguing that the equity release provider should have been more proactive, rather than let the interest build up.

I feel sorry for your grandad. He is not the first to be caught out by these schemes.

TallulahBetty · 08/11/2024 15:03

redskydarknight · 08/11/2024 15:01

Why not possible? He has a secured home for the rest of his life. He's either spent the money (presumably on things he enjoyed) or he still has some left (that he can still enjoy).

It's only stressful if he thinks that he has let down family members by not leaving them any inheritance. So they need to reassure him that he hasn't.

Exactly this. It seems like OP is also worried about his estate having to pay for anything after his death - well, that is normal for anyone who dies.

hobbitum · 08/11/2024 15:03

TallulahBetty · 08/11/2024 14:55

When you say 'take everything when he is gone', he won't be there to worry about that. It will be his estate that has to pay any shortfall etc. Unless that is what you are worried about - there won't be anything left to inherit, or?

A harsh but fair enough question in the circs. Yes he is worried about having something to leave and yes, I would be the main beneficiary.

It's a matter of his dignity right now, he's shocked and ashamed and feeling guilty that there will be nothing left when he always planned that there would be.

That is neither here nor there. I'm worried this will impact his health and blight his final years, it's just such a stressful shock for him.

OP posts:
thismummydrinksgin · 08/11/2024 15:02

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 08/11/2024 14:48

He new what he was doing at the time, and received regular letters as updates. There is nothing more to be done.

It's sad for the family, but it doesn't sound as though it was mis sold.

You do not have enough information to make that assertion. Go and bully someone else.

redskydarknight · 08/11/2024 15:01

Bignanna · 08/11/2024 14:57

Not possible, given the situation!

Why not possible? He has a secured home for the rest of his life. He's either spent the money (presumably on things he enjoyed) or he still has some left (that he can still enjoy).

It's only stressful if he thinks that he has let down family members by not leaving them any inheritance. So they need to reassure him that he hasn't.

clearquote · 08/11/2024 15:01

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Hoppinggreen · 08/11/2024 15:00

But what is he worried about exactly?
Hopefully he is in no danger of losing the house so he can only be worried about not leaving anything behind for his family.
I appreciate that he might be feeling a bit foolish and upset he can't remember doing this (if indeed he can't) but nothing bad has actually happened, the situation is exactly the same as last week or before whenever it was this came to light

clearquote · 08/11/2024 15:00

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Heatherbell1978 · 08/11/2024 14:59

Presumably he's paying something? If it's equity release then he'll have received a lump sum (what happened to it?) and I'm sure he'll have to pay some kind of interest to the lender unless it's all capitalising to the debt. When he's gone the house will be sold and it'll repay the debt. So he doesn't really have to worry about it - that's the purpose of equity release. But of course there won't be a house or money to pass down.

SilenceInside · 08/11/2024 14:59

Was he not paying even the interest on the mortgage?

Bignanna · 08/11/2024 14:58

CocoDC · 08/11/2024 14:54

Was it equity release? If so you could try to get advise from the financial ombudsman and see what they say.

Why? OP said he was of sound mind and knew what he was doing. Doesn’t sound like he has been taken advantage of.

clearquote · 08/11/2024 14:58

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hobbitum · 08/11/2024 14:57

Thank you all for the replies.

Yes it was an equity release thing Safe, for a relatively small amount that has pretty much quietly quadrupled in the background and now could amount to more than the cost of his home.

I'm trying to help him concentrate on the here and now Red as that's all that matters but I'm afraid the stress will deeply affect him, that's my worry at the moment.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 08/11/2024 14:57

You can exercise LPA rights if he says so so you can deal with financial matters. If has capacity he can sign lpa docs then when it is in place you or whoever he decides has lpa can do leg work on his behalf to find the docs et c

Bignanna · 08/11/2024 14:57

redskydarknight · 08/11/2024 14:52

You and other family members need to reassure him that this is perfectly ok and you wanted him to be able to enjoy his retirement years without money worries.

Not possible, given the situation!

SilenceInside · 08/11/2024 14:57

Is there no equity at all in the house? How long has he held the mortgage for? If it was a remortgage was it recently?

There's nothing to be done now, other than tell him not to worry about it at all. I wouldn't try to make any payments above the interest payments, unless he has plenty of spare money and if paying a small amount monthly might help him feel better about the whole thing?

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