Hi all, I have found this board so insightful recently and would really appreciate some feedback on my current situation.
My dad has undiagnosed dementia - undiagnosed because my mum is scared he will lose his driving license so won't get him help. Well, someone reported him to the dvla, the gp did a report and now he has lost his license on account of his heart which is a separate long term condition, good in my opinion.
The problem is that she won't accept any of this and is becoming more erratic in her denial. I feel like I am expected to help her as the dutiful daughter but I disagree with everything that she says or does and she won't listen to reason (Dad is still driving btw, they are on holiday right now so I can't take the keys away - I have told my aunt who is with them and she is stepping in to stop Mum - Dad isn't even lucid enough to understand in my opinion, Mum is pulling all the strings).
Mum always has to be right, even when everyone is telling her that she is wrong. She complains to me about how hard it is and how depressed she is but won't do anything to help herself, won't accept advice and is now even knowingly breaking the law to suit herself but making excuses (as she doesn't drive).
I'm torn between leaving her to deal with her own mess as she won't listen anyway and the guilt of abandoning her when she most needs help. Do I leave her to sink on her own or just bang my head against the wall and hope she will eventually listen (which is destroying me)? I have a teen with MH issues who is under CAMHS to look after right now so I my capacity is already limited.