I need to ask if anyone knows if there’s a way to stop my dying parent coming home to die instead of going to a hospice.
Long story. My parent is dying of cancer which has spread and has been hospitalised, waiting for a hospice bed.
Parent has always, always said they wanted to die at a hospice. 100% not at home. Even pre-cancer.
Today my other parent was informed that dying parent wants to come home and care would be organised.
Dying parent says they’ve changed their mind.
Hospital say dying parent has capacity and has rights to change their mind.
We have questioned capacity as we think it’s lacking and has been for some time but hospital say they have capacity.
Hospital say hospital bed will be provided: carers will be there 24hrs a day.
Other parent (early 80s) does not feel they want dying parent at home.
They have expressed feelings of vulnerability about having carers (“I’m worried about having strangers in the house with me. It frightens me a little.”) and knows from my DBs passing that the 24hr care at house doesn’t always happen as planned - there was several no show carers. Which was horrid.
Also, they feel they will have no place for respite themselves - they are struggling mentally at the moment - as dying parent will be in the living room of the 2 up 2 down house and all surviving children are at least 2hrs away.
Is there any way I can help my parents in this horrible situation?
As awful as it sounds, I think a hospice is the right place for dying parent and other parent needs to be considered too.