Who can I get to carry my mum downstairs?

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 2024-08-10T09:27:01+00:00

Mum has Alzheimer's and since falling and breaking her wrist 4 months ago has refused to use the stairs at home so she has been living upstairs. Dad lives with her and is her full time carer, with help from a care agency who come in 4 times a day. Dad's decided - rightly I think - that they would be better living downstairs where there's a bathroom and a room they could put beds in. Social services might be able to organise mum being carried down the stairs, but it's not a certainty and could take weeks if not months to arrange. Does anybody know whether there's any other way to get mum downstairs, please? We've already tried St John's Ambulance, Red Cross and the GP surgery. It's logistically complicated because it needs to happen on the same day that her hospital bed is moved downstairs by the company that delivered it, so moving mum needs to be something we can arrange for a specific day. If anybody has experience of this I'd be very grateful to hear from you, thanks!

MereDintofPandiculation · 12/08/2024 20:27

WorriedRelative · 10/08/2024 12:39

Try your local mountain rescue team, they are volunteers so if they can help you please make a generous donation.

They are trained and have equipment to carry injured people down mountains so a flight of stairs should be no bother.

They go to homes during flooding and snow so shouldn't refuse on the basis it is a house.

Yes, I was going to suggest cave rescue.

But not till you’ve exhausted the private ambulance options

Original poster

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 12/08/2024 08:39

@NotTooOldPaul I agree re moving the bed - sadly my father does not 🙄
@PeachPairPlum Yes, we've impressed upon social services that it's an urgent safety issue, and asked the dementia nurse, GP surgery and private care agency to do the same. It's just taking time.

Dad is now getting cold feet about the whole plan to move downstairs and is insisting that we wait to see if social services will do it before he decides if he wants to. But thanks for your help on this thread - at least if social services won't, I now know where we can go for other help.

OP posts:

justasking111 · 11/08/2024 12:54

I think cutting family out is the best idea. My mother doesn't make a peep when the ambulance service carry her out. Whereas if I suggested calling the ambulance she'd go nuts on me. When they arrive she's as nice as pie

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 11/08/2024 12:24

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 10/08/2024 11:49

Why is she scared ? Is it because she is afraid of falling and hurting herself again ? Because that might make the situation more volatile for anyone trying to physically carry her if she panics halfway down. I also agree that maybe very slowly bum shuffling down one step at a time, surrounded by people on the stairs above and below to prevent her slipping might be a better, less scary option for an elderly confused lady with a recent fracture

Edited

People with Alzheimer's can very easily be scared for no rational reason - so reasoning won’t help. My DM was often scared of things that were entirely in her own head.

Frites · 10/08/2024 23:04

WorriedRelative · 10/08/2024 12:39

Try your local mountain rescue team, they are volunteers so if they can help you please make a generous donation.

They are trained and have equipment to carry injured people down mountains so a flight of stairs should be no bother.

They go to homes during flooding and snow so shouldn't refuse on the basis it is a house.

This is a great idea !

Frites · 10/08/2024 23:02

..

JuvenileBigfoot · 10/08/2024 23:00

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 10/08/2024 14:22

@JuvenileBigfoot No I don't think we could walk her down. Experience suggests that she'd resist and sit down which would be dangerous. We need to do this with trained professionals around who can lift and carry her.

She complied with being put into evac chairs by patient transport who took her to hospital appointments while her wrist was being treated. I know that what happened in the past isn't necessarily a good indication of what would happen now, but it's the best evidence I've got.

We think she'd be terrified on a stair lift.

Ah I hope it goes well.
Just, as I said, be aware they can't force her I to the chair.
Although I've seen situations where people with dementia respond well to uniforms and "authority" and comply when they haven't complied for family for years.
Crossing everything for you!

quintessentially166 · 10/08/2024 20:57

How about ringing around a few local home care agencies they may be able to provide this service for a fee.

PeachPairPlum · 10/08/2024 20:16

Have you spoken to social services about this ?
And explained that its currently a safety risk in that she's stuck upstairs. They may have suggestions and very likely will have encountered this situation in the past.

FFSWherearemyglasses · 10/08/2024 19:00

Imperrysmum · 10/08/2024 14:48

Urm. But she doesn’t need to attend hospital urgently? And then someone might die in a REAL fire because of this. Selfish suggestion when the alternative is spending some money to get it done professionally.

Show quote history

🤣 don’t be so bloody dramatic 😱
The fire service will ALWAYS turn out immediately to persons reported in life threatening situations.
They don’t say “oh no sorry you’ll have to wait an hour while we carry a lady downstairs!” 😂

Flowery57 · 10/08/2024 18:29

CherieBabySpliffUp · 10/08/2024 11:06

Could she not scoot down the stairs on her bottom?

I’m not sure this would be safe in case she had a panic on the way down and she may be very frail.

daffodilflowers · 10/08/2024 18:25

One of my neighbours was carried downstairs by the fire service, when he needed to go to a nursing home.

NotTooOldPaul · 10/08/2024 18:22

Why do you need someone to move the bed? I can understand that your mother needs to be carefully moved but can't you and a couple of friends move the bed? A bed is not going to get hurt if it slides down the stairs.

Imperrysmum · 10/08/2024 14:48

FFSWherearemyglasses · 10/08/2024 11:56

Do you have a local fire station nearby? If you knocked on and had a word with the station manager they may be able to help you?
EDITED TO SAY: Just asked my husband (who is an ex firefighter ) he said if you call the fire brigade and say that you need to get her out to attend hospital urgently or suck like they will turn out

Edited

Urm. But she doesn’t need to attend hospital urgently? And then someone might die in a REAL fire because of this. Selfish suggestion when the alternative is spending some money to get it done professionally.

justasking111 · 10/08/2024 14:43

As someone who has just crawled upstairs to sort out a room, we sleep downstairs but guest Room is upstairs. I'm waiting for hip and knee surgery. I'm scared of breaking something.

Original poster

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 10/08/2024 14:22

@JuvenileBigfoot No I don't think we could walk her down. Experience suggests that she'd resist and sit down which would be dangerous. We need to do this with trained professionals around who can lift and carry her.

She complied with being put into evac chairs by patient transport who took her to hospital appointments while her wrist was being treated. I know that what happened in the past isn't necessarily a good indication of what would happen now, but it's the best evidence I've got.

We think she'd be terrified on a stair lift.

OP posts:

JuvenileBigfoot · 10/08/2024 14:03

Singleandproud · 10/08/2024 13:49

@JuvenileBigfoot did you even read any of the thread, or even the post you quoted? OP has got a solution and has clearly explained why your idea wouldn't work.

Why post on such a short thread and not bother reading it???

There is no need to be rude.

She doesn't have a solution as it sounds like her mother is very anxious and is likely to be non-compliant with being carried down. Hence my suggestion of her daughter (sorry OP I'm assuming you're a woman) walking her down with someone else who is familiar and therefore less likely to be frightening for the lady in question. The lady, if you read the thread, is able to walk, she just won't walk down the stairs.

I'm making a suggestion to try and help and to save money on something that may not work.

Singleandproud · 10/08/2024 13:49

@JuvenileBigfoot did you even read any of the thread, or even the post you quoted? OP has got a solution and has clearly explained why your idea wouldn't work.

Why post on such a short thread and not bother reading it???

JuvenileBigfoot · 10/08/2024 13:44

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 10/08/2024 13:26

@Jellycats4life you are so right about the need for a service that can step in quickly. It's so frustrating, and absolutely exhausting trying to navigate the systems. We get asked things like 'well is it urgent?' and that's a really difficult question to answer. It's not currently life-threatening, but it could become so very quickly.

Mum wouldn't be able to bum-shuffle. She's lost almost all of her language so we're having to work out why we think she's scared. And I don't think she can process 'I need to get downstairs because that will be a better place to live'. She's much more in the moment than that.

I have found a private ambulance that will carry her down it so thanks for those suggestions all. Cost is £200 + VAT (unless I pay cash 🙄) for those who are interested.

And the suggestion of a second bed is genius, thanks @Darkbutstarrynight

My problem now is to persuade dad that I can project manage this and make it all happen. He's all for waiting for social services to sort it so he doesn't have to do any more thinking, but I'm worried that will take months.

Do you think you could walk her down with you in front and someone behind? You'd need to be super firm and it will feel horrible at the time, but I've got lots of people down the stairs that way. As long as she cab physically walk its automatic to take a step down with some steering and firm instructions.

Edit to say, a private ambulance service won't physically force her into a carry chair so make sure you guage whether she will be compliant before spending any money. If she flat out refuses to get in tbe chair you'll be in the same position but 200 quid poorer!

Best of luck, I know how stressful this must be

Original poster

NameChangePropertyAdvice · 10/08/2024 13:26

@Jellycats4life you are so right about the need for a service that can step in quickly. It's so frustrating, and absolutely exhausting trying to navigate the systems. We get asked things like 'well is it urgent?' and that's a really difficult question to answer. It's not currently life-threatening, but it could become so very quickly.

Mum wouldn't be able to bum-shuffle. She's lost almost all of her language so we're having to work out why we think she's scared. And I don't think she can process 'I need to get downstairs because that will be a better place to live'. She's much more in the moment than that.

I have found a private ambulance that will carry her down it so thanks for those suggestions all. Cost is £200 + VAT (unless I pay cash 🙄) for those who are interested.

And the suggestion of a second bed is genius, thanks @Darkbutstarrynight

My problem now is to persuade dad that I can project manage this and make it all happen. He's all for waiting for social services to sort it so he doesn't have to do any more thinking, but I'm worried that will take months.

OP posts:

Westfacing · 10/08/2024 13:15

oakleaffy · 10/08/2024 12:41

That’s for deceased bodies!
Not the living.

Show quote history

'Private ambulance' is often the logo on the outside of funeral vans when they transfer a body from a house.

But there are also private ambulance companies who transport live people to hospital, home, clinics, airports etc. They look no different from normal ambulances but will have a logo e.g Harley Street Ambulance; or SATS - they are ones I've worked with.

bluefoxcub · 10/08/2024 13:14

I work in a district nursing team and we arrange with the fire service to transfer patients. They have a dedicated number for professionals to arrange patient transfers. Adult social care should also be able to arrange this, usually can be arranged for the same day.

Professionalmess · 10/08/2024 13:13

I'd you can find a non-emergency number for your local ambulance service or fire service they may be able to advise. They have the specialist training and resources.

gamerchick · 10/08/2024 13:07

Would it not be easier to put a stair lift in?

ineedtogwtoutbeforeitatoohot · 10/08/2024 13:04

You need an evac chair. Maybe the go or clinic could lend you one while the practise is shut