Ageing parents -- what is 'normal'?

We live in a place of very old people. Plus have very elderly parents and neighbours. It's a very wide spectrum of abilities.

I have neighbours in their 80's who drive miles, go on holiday, all sorts of things.

Other people not so much and a Mil who probably could just about cook and gave up doing that 30 years ago....

I don't think anyone's saying it is. And some people will continue very sprightly until well into their 80s and 90s. But it remains true that a significant number of people don't. Talking to friends and others (I've done quite a lot of this recently), quite a lot of people report that parents have quite a sudden decline at some point in their 70s, whether before or after 75, when they suddenly seem 'old' - that's certainly been my experience. That's also around the age that my parents started to have friends die in significant numbers, rather than just the odd one who died very young in their 50s or 60s.

This. I'm 61, head of a department, run two or three times a week and still have a 15yo at home. Dbruv is 69 and C level in a listed company.

65 isn't elderly, not in my world anyway 😂

My MIL is 80 and can do all of this.

65?!
I'm 61, ran a half marathon last year and work 50 hrs in a Director level role.

I agree. I'm nearly 65 and work with people older than me who can do everything on your list with ease.

Do they have any infirmities? Arthritis in fingers makes cooking difficult, poor eyesight and hearing affects lots of interactions. Lots of medications can cause problems. Do they have children, grandchildren who kept them up to date with technology?

And 65 to 75 is quite a big gap, 65 is still young today, 75 definitely getting older. But state of health is so important to carrying on doing things.

My parents are 89 & 91 and until quite recently both could do all of those things. My mum unfortunately is beginning to struggle, but my dad (91) can still do all of them bar cook a decent meal (but he's always been like that, it's not age related!)

My mum is 67 and can do all of it.
My dad is 70 and can do all of it.
They both worked in white collar jobs per se.

My MIL is 72 and can't do any except maybe deal with someone on the phone
My FIL is 75 and can drive but struggles with computers/phones and stuff so we pick these things up for him.
They both worked in more manual roles (nursing/mechanic) so computers weren't part of their lives

Equally I know 70 year olds better than me on computers and doing marathons.

It's a tricky age bracket to compare.

Yes, I imagine that's what @Ippagoggy is trying to figure out

In laws are 78 and 79 and can do all of that. They are very active, out every day, deal with tradesmen etc etc. Well my FIL would struggle to cook a meal but that is not new, he's never cooked a meal in his life.

My mum, who died with dementia at the age of 76, stopped being able to do any of that in her late 60s...started being less independent about 67 and went downhill quite rapidly.

I am 66 and can't imagine why anyone of my age couldn't do all those things unless there was some major illness or cognitive disability.

The real question is whether Parent 1 could do all these things previously or has always been happy to let other people step up? Or did Parent 1 have a partner who did this who has subsequently left/died? I think the point is that there's no average but at this age I'd say it's far more likely that either the person is used to other people doign things for them OR there is some significant mental deterioration that requires some interventin and review.

OP what is going on with Parent #1? If they're only 66 (which is still working age!) but can't do most of the things on your list that's unusual unless they have a learning disability or have had a serious illness?

My dad was 80 and would do all those things.

daily use of laptop and iPhone 7
sent photographs and attached photos

booked ferry crossings online not flights

drove in U.K. and abroad

cooked for himself, grandchildren and me. Though did lose interest in cooking, so eat out often

could deal with a customer service issue

Most of my friends and I are in that age bracket, and yes we could do all, or at least most, of those things. I would imagine most people of that age could, although some won't be interested in sending emails and using facebook, but not because they can't do it. My DF up until his death at 89 could send a text, cook a meal and drive a car, but didn't have a computer. He never asked for help with dealing with customer serivce, lawyers etc. either.

Early 70s, my parents can do all the above, though my mother is having some issues with driving.

My dad's 82 and can do all that expect Facebook, he doesn't do social media, but if he had to he could use it.

My parents are 63 so just before the age bracket and can do all of those better than me!

I'm 68 and can do all except drive a car as I never learnt! I struggle with housework though.

We are both 67, can do all that. Swear politely at companies and websites with incompetent procedures in place.

How judgemental.

People have different life experiences, different states of health.

My father is 71 and cant do all of those things mainly because he has cancer and is exhausted.

My sister is 75 and can do all but drive a car as she's registered blind (macular degeneration since her 50s, but can see enough to read a computer screen)

Think my MIL was still capable of all those into her late 80s.

i'm 67 can do all those things listed with ease, i'm pretty slick with banking and run a market stall selling honey mostly with contactless payment and electronic transfers.
dh is 67 not only does all those things but is employed by the government and continues to work a few hours per months in an area of particular expertise.

My mum is 85 & can do all of those things except drive as she chooses not to & book a flight as she doesn't travel.