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Elderly parents
Original poster

Everything was negative

85 replies

Ribenaberry12 · 13/07/2024 20:59

Spent the day out with my parents today and noticed that they their interpretation of EVERY thing and everyone was negative.
Guy on car parking wasn’t very good.
That area isn’t roped off very well.
Not paying that for a sandwich.
Theres too many people.
Theres not enough people.
This beer’s flat. (It wasn’t).
AD INFINITUM
They also expected everyone to short change them. Expected everyone providing a service to do it badly. Weren’t warm or friendly with anyone. I got embarrassed with they way they were talking to some people. They viewed everyone and everything as if they were out to get them. Couldn’t seem to have positive interaction with anyone. When I called them put on it they couldn’t see anything wrong with their attitude. I couldn’t understand it if they’d had a shit day but they hadn’t, they said they had a good time. I can’t understand why they’re treating people like they’re going to be ripped off or badly served. WTF IS WRONG WITH THEM???
I’ve come home baffled.

OP posts:
MeAgainAndAgain · 14/07/2024 08:49

Mine will look for the negativity and slip it into everything, even when it’s got nothing to do with the topic.

”Of course that top she was wearing to go to the shop doesn’t suit her what with her unfortunate colouring” = perfectly normal woman wearing perfectly normal top.

“Well when she cooks the fatty food she prefers, it sets off her smoke alarm, she should really watch what she eats before she dies because of her obesity” = neighbours smoke alarm went off briefly.

It’s awful really. Such a shame.

Original poster
Ribenaberry12 · 14/07/2024 08:46

I feel comfort in that I’m not alone, thanks all.

They’re in their 70s but they are both still really active and in good health. I think that’s what I don’t understand about the attitude - life is good for them! And it seems to have come on in the last year or so. They’re just so bloody whingy about everything. It’s so frustrating. I think I'm
just gonna have to treat them like little kids, not feed the negative and then they’ll get bored and realise that gets them no attention. Honestly though, it’s embarrassing. We were in a shop and they started needlessly criticising the poor girl behind the counter to me under their breath. I just wanted to die.

We’re going out for a posh meal next month for a big family birthday and I’m dreading their behaviour now. :(

OP posts:
EmotionalBlackmail · 14/07/2024 08:44

Have they always been like this or is it new?

I realised mine has always been negative but has got worse. I mostly deal with it by not seeing them too often, doing something else at the same time as they drone on if it's on the phone and fact checking anything that isn't true - they take everything they read in right wing media as the truth!

Jennyathemall · 14/07/2024 08:29

They are old and the world has passed them by and they are bitter as a result.

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 14/07/2024 08:24

notanothernana · 14/07/2024 08:22

Yup. Can relate. Coffee too cold, what young people wear these days etc

Oh my god what is it with them needing to have everything heated up like a bloody volcano. My dad always has to ask for hot milk if we have coffee out because "otherwise the drink goes cold" despite always having cold milk at home. And never ordering a cappuccino because they are overpriced.

plumlipstick · 14/07/2024 08:24

urgh I know- its so draining. I get that when people get older they often have pain and tiredness but it really isnt an excuse to treat people poorly- they wouldnt like it!

The sad thing is- its self fulfilling prophecy, if you act negatively and look for it, you'll find it but thats because people are responding to your attitude so you get exactly what you are looking for. Its a shame as change of attitude can make the world of difference.

notanothernana · 14/07/2024 08:22

Yup. Can relate. Coffee too cold, what young people wear these days etc

StiffyByngsDogBartholomew · 14/07/2024 08:21

Is this the first time they've been noticeably that way op ? How old are they ?

I'm sorry to say this is probably the beginning of endless negative droning on about anything and everything. You learn to ignore it after a while.

AudiobookListener · 14/07/2024 08:21

I remember hearing about a study that showed old-looking people tend to get worse service than young people. Young people can be impatient and lack understanding. And maybe some things really were better 'in their day'. Just accept that the world looks different to them because their life experiences have been different. You can't change them.

RappersNeedChapstick · 14/07/2024 07:52

I have no idea but it's the same here. If we ever take my DM anywhere one of us usually walks behind her as apologising.

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