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Elderly parents

Staff Borrowed Beer from Relative in Care Home

36 replies

Fergie51 · 17/06/2024 23:45

As a Father’s Day gift, I sent my dad some bottles of beer to his care home. (I live hundreds of miles away) He was delighted and enjoyed his first beer for months. While I was on a FaceTime, a member of staff asked my dad if the kitchen could possible borrow a couple of bottles of beer to make fish batter as they didn’t have enough. My dad agreed and the member of staff promised
to replace the beer the next day. Beer has not yet been replaced.
Should my dad have been approached in the first place? I am starting to feel unhappy about it and would appreciate other opinions.

OP posts:
raffle · 18/06/2024 09:35

@AndiOliversGlasses Absolutely correct, if he's got capacity. Can't see any issue here. Should def have been replaced ASAP tho

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 18/06/2024 09:14

Sounds like they conned your dad out of his beer. I'd be ringing the manager straight away

snowlady4 · 18/06/2024 09:13

Not ideal but wouldn't bother me hugely. Just remind them to replace it. It's not like they stole it; they asked him while you were sort of there, on a call!

FrenchandSaunders · 18/06/2024 09:08

Bet they drank it .... they wouldn't plan on doing that for dinner without the proper ingredients. What luck that your DF happened to have been sent a crate of beer! I'd be cross about this.

AndiOliversGlasses · 18/06/2024 09:04

TBH I’m impressed they were doing fresh beer batter for the fish, sounds much better than the slop my Granny was served in her care home.

AndiOliversGlasses · 18/06/2024 09:03

hollysmumma · 18/06/2024 08:58

No way he should have been asked, this is completely inappropriate.

Why do you say that? Unless he has dementia and is unable to make his own decisions he’s an adult who is perfectly capable of deciding whether or not to lend something to a member of staff. Who cares why they were short an ingredient for the dinner that night? These things happen. Zero harm done as long as it’s replaced, and perhaps these little interactions make a person in a care home feel more like a functioning member of the community.

hollysmumma · 18/06/2024 08:58

No way he should have been asked, this is completely inappropriate.

AndiOliversGlasses · 18/06/2024 08:50

Is there any other beer left i.e. did you send him 12 bottles and he drank one, they used two and there are 9 left? If yes, they just need to be reminded it should be replaced before the stock runs out. I’d give them a call, emphasise how happy he is with having a beer of an evening and make sure they understand its importance.

Mothership4two · 18/06/2024 08:46

Well it's up to him as it's his beer, but it's a bit cheeky of them. They should replace like for like when they said they would.

JoniBlue · 18/06/2024 00:58

They should not have even asked!

ApolloandDaphne · 18/06/2024 00:19

Is he bothered? He might have told them they didn't need to replace it.

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