There has to be an awareness campaign about dementia and the different kinds of dementia

I’m sorry that does sound distressing for you. It’s horrible seeing our parents like this. What does the GP say? Have they done any tests?

My mum has frontotemporal dementia and it has not been like the ‘typical’ dementia symptoms you’d expect. It was mum’s ‘conflabulation’ that the GP picked up on during an initial memory test and then she referred her to the memory clinic. Mum could answer questions about dates etc but couldn’t understand questions that were a bit more abstract.

The pharmacy face cream thing may not have been stealing but your DM inventing a story as she now realises it was an odd thing to buy.

Keep an eye that she doesn’t get ripped off by people. I found even my DM’s ‘friends’ took advantage of her, it was heartbreaking.

Does she have POA in place, if she doesn’t this is the time to push for it?

Google teepa snow - she is really helpful & engaging especially in dealing and reacting to dementia behaviours . My mum had vascular dementia from a stroke damage - to the outside world she could present really well . She could mask and do hostess mode no problem for years . But she would often “glitch” , believe she had a duplicate house , relatives were not who they were, all sorts of fun and games until more typical features of “ dementia “ appeared . At times it was as comic as it was tragic . My favourite story was the “buffet” she once prepared for non existent guests . Ultimately how you perceive time & space is governed by your brain . She couldn’t comprehend how she could not fit a huge dining table into a tiny galley kitchen but she could tell you who the prime minister was right up the last few months of her life . It’s really hard until you’ve lived it . I nearly lost the plot too !

It could be a mental illness rather than dementia. I'm assuming the Gp has at least done tests to rule out UTI's? Have they referred her for a head scan?

@SpaSpa
my mum was the same

Apathy is such a big deal in most types of dementia and massively underappreciated.

No your relative isn't doing it on purpose, they really can't make a decision. Any decision Even a tiny one.

My mother has fairly advanced dementia and I'd still say memory loss is the least of her symptoms.

The one that triggered diagnosis was slurred speech. Preceding this, before we realised, was years of total apathy. Like couldn't be arsed-ness. I found it really hurtful as it seemed as if she had no interest in my children nor could be bothered to make any effort. She lost interest in all the things that had mattered to her beforehand, including my father. She also lost any ability to organise finances or use technology.

Now the worst thing is her physical deterioration (can't walk), but she can still remember really quite a lot. But her speech is better.

I'm constantly googling symptoms to try to work out if she's got a different sort of dementia as it feels so atypical.

Even in Alzheimers memory loss isn't necessarily the first symptom.

With FIL he started giving up his hobbies because he couldn't initiate an activity. He also started worrying about his health as he couldn't recall reassurance.

Unfortunately neither of these behaviours were massively out of character for him so his family didn't notice until the changes were overwhelming. I suggested he had dementia the first time I met him and was told he was always odd.

I think he had always been odd but it took a stranger to point out something wasn't right.

It could be a mental health condition or a combo of one and a type of dementia.

Has she actually seen the GP with a witness there?

My mum has Alzheimer’s and memory loss was not one of the earliest symptoms, personality change, anger, anxiety, withdrawing socially happened beforehand.

With the GP, it isn’t good enough to say it’s not dementia- they need to do tests and work out what it could be.

Have they suggested anything?

It could be any number of things. Can you offer to go with her to the GP and explain your concerns and ask what they can do to help?

Oh bless you. I know nothing about dementia types. That sounds so hard though. DFiL just likes to sleep, doesn’t care about anything much, or remember anything much. He’s fairly cheerful, except when DMiL who has a mixed dementia diagnosis gets obsessed about what he’s eating and tries to make him do things because he shouldn’t just sit there.

DM is losing words, can’t process new information and won’t give up on using tech. BT have sent her several new Wi-Fi routers/tv boxes because she says they aren’t working. I spend ages on the phone helping her find the @key on her iPad. She gets angry because the emails and texts she sends/receives don’t arrive.

It is tough. and frustrating.