Urgent - ethics around pain med for 93 yr old

Oh thank goodness for your poor mum, and you. Been thinking of you this evening. Thanks for the update and for advocating for your mum.

OP, its good that things have evened out for you all now. Its an incredibly difficult time and its good you dont have rhe extra stress of a falling out with your DB. Xx

Sending good wishes to you all. I am so glad that the proper pain relief is now being given. It is a difficult time, but the important thing is that your mother should be out of pain and able to depart this life peacefully.

I hope your Mother is now much more comfortable. Well done for advocating for her.

Good. I'm relieved for you all. X

Absolutely right!
Morphine titrated carefully {and anti~ emetics given if she feels nauseous} is quite safe...{I'm not a medic}

My elderly neighbour was given an injection of it by an ambulance crew {she was 90} after falling and breaking her thigh, and it brought the colour back into her cheeks, and the pained, drawn expression on her face changed and her eyes sparkled.
It was a remarkable thing to see...and she began chatting, where before she was just semi whimpering.

Constipation is the real downside, but there are meds that help - the GP will be well aware of what to do.

Hopefully the pressure sores can be treated too, and new ones prevented from forming.

Why would he think morphine would kill her? It won't be given to her in massive doses. Of course you should insist on giving her anything at all that will make her a bit less miserable. Only thing with morphine is that it can make you constipated but they should be able to help with that if it happens

The doctor has been and its all sorted now

Contact your local social services ASAP, and also her GP!

Her GP may also contact social services for proper pain medication to be administered by you or the carers.

I'm surprised the carers haven't reported this back to their supervisors!! It's negligence!!

My mum was always stoic with pain. Labour, well not a walk in the park but absolutely doable. Horrendous migraines, just a bit of a sick headache, arterial bleed, a bit of a cut. When she had dementia it was obvious she was in pain as she would wince and gasp and flinch. Asking are you in pain mum brought the normal and expected answer no I'm fine. As the dementia grew worse so did the pain but she wasn't able to tell us where it was or what hurt. I tried working my way around her body, pressing gently to see if the slight pressure brought on a wince just so we could localise where or what the pain was. She was by that time in a nursing home and the GP in consultation with the nurses and me prescribed morphine patches. She was also prescribed it as a liquid for any breakthrough pain. We never did find out where the pain was or what it was or what caused it. But she was in her last month of life and was in pain from something. I just wanted her pain free if possible. This meant that in that last month she was definitely not flinching as much and on the occasion that she did a dribble of oral morphine was given to her and she was more relaxed. Obviously she wasn't really speaking but my son and I used to read to her, each picking up from where the last one of us had read to. To have left her flinching in pain and not able to tell us what hurt must have been beyond awful. To have a supportive GP was great.

I’m so pleased you’ve got this sorted

Wishing you all peace and gentleness x

Definitely this. The palliative care team are the specialists in pain control and are also very experienced in explaining things to family. You could sell it to DB as getting the specialists in as you appreciate his concerns.

All the best to you and your entire family OP. And wishing your lovely mother a peaceful night.

All the very best to you all at this difficult time

Bedsores come from a variety of causes
the CAUSE needs addressing.
Has she a hospital air bed?
She will be in desperate pain bless her

Morphine won’t help the open wound being touched by the mattress- it’s down to suboptimal care that she has developed bedsores-
Sort the CAUSE
Morphine will make her desperately constipated- which has it’s own problems.
Morphine feels calming though
She deserves that, at least.

I didn’t want to read and run OP, I read through the thread there has been a lot of good advice given here.
I am an absolute advocate of when a patient is in severe pain then imo it should be administered ensuring that they can be pain free and thus rest. Your mother is presenting severe pain and discomfort and the priority for me would be to ensure that the pain relief is stepped up immediately. I understand your brothers concern regarding OUD however these are secondary to the pain.
I am advising you contact your health care team urgently (there should be someone alway available in these cases).
No patient should be subjected to this excruciating level of pain, that is non negotiable in a patient in such circumstances.

That is the best outcome you could hope for under the circumstances.

I'm not going to criticise your brother any further as he is clearly struggling too, and has come on board.

You are all in my thoughts.

All the best OP

I'm glad you managed to get someone today .take care

Get her the oramorph prescribed-poor old lady. Let her be at peace and pain free. My in laws and done living directives exactly around this so no one will be questioning what’s to be done to look after them if needed. Also have LPA done and respect forms

100% this, she deserves to be pain free as much as possible. These medicines are monitored and regulated contact the gp or if she's really bad phone the out of hours.

I believe I would want the pain relief, even if it suppressed my breathing.

It's not an uncommon concern, unfortunately. But it's not a real risk obviously.

Please get your mum pain relief. It'll make it easier for her.