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Elderly parents
Original poster

Preparing for care assessment next week

44 replies

FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 16:17

Finally have an appointment next week for a care assessment with LA ASC social worker where DF is living.

I am focussed on getting a professional to assess his needs and to tell DF what level of care he needs.

I need this from the visit because DF does not listen to his children and is in complete denial about the state he is in.

Most importantly, if social worker thinks DF needs to be in residential care, I need it to be said to him and in front of him (district nurses are saying residential care).

It’s a horribly complicated mess financially (DF does not have enough income for the visiting carers he currently has, very little money in savings but does have a house in a different area than where he is living that he is yet to agree to sell). We’d sell the house in a heartbeat (although it would be more complicated than that) but DF needs to agree to sell.

Looking for advice on what to get ready, have to hand and ask/say for the visit please - to keep it focussed on DF’s needs and these being made clear to DF.

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Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 25/04/2024 19:10

Still interested in any other experiences of care assessments and how they helped - or didn’t - especially with complex medical needs and/or financial complexity.

Or follow up / change of circumstances care assessments (assume these are a thing and we’d be at the back of the queue starting again?).

I feel like I’ve ticked an admin task off in pencil. To be continued (like all the other unpaid admin that needs to be chased through the system).

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Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 25/04/2024 18:53

I thought I’d just update that we had the care assessment and it felt like it went okay - but no one is going to do anything (see horribly complicated financial situation) as DF is not eligible for social housing and will have to self-fund (I had worked this out).

After a horrific weekend, chasing GP and lots of unpaid tlc from family, things seems to be a little more positive this week in part due to new (private) care team (which can only be afforded for a short time).

Going to have to spend less time with DF and more on the mess he left for us to sort out.

But my objective that DF is known to social services is met and the actual social worker was great with DF, reinforcing lots of the advice that he will not take from family (still noted everything in diary though).

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Dottiethekangaroo · 22/04/2024 16:25

Sadly, that echoes my own experience.

Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 22/04/2024 16:23

Thank you @Dottiethekangaroo - very good advice about recording who spoke to.

Everyone seems quick to say whichever other agency should be doing things - but no one seems to be able to do anything themselves… it all feels like we’re being sent around in circles and people are taking advantage of our naivety - they seem to want to get DF off their desk by saying ‘x deals with that, not y’ - no one seems to actually deal with it when you speak to them though.

Sadly I suspect I’ll need that diary for the inevitable complaint to either council, NHS or both 😬

I have never been so angry. It is all so woefully inefficient and could be so much better for everyone.

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Dottiethekangaroo · 21/04/2024 21:27

Personally I would wait and give it to them on the day of the assessment. They have a heavy caseload and it could get overlooked.

Some further advice if you would like it from my own vast experience.
Get a book and date every interaction you have with social services.
Write down the time you made the call, the name of the person you are dealing with and what was agreed. Phone umbers of all the departments. You will find yourself repeating the same information over and over.
this is going to be a long haul and it makes a huge difference if you can quote exactly what was agreed and when.

I would also get a change of address form from the post office and his address to yours so that correspondence does not get missed.

Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 21/04/2024 20:38

Developments in DF’s condition - should I call social worker and say I have more to add before the appointment?
We’ve waited so long for this appointment for so long but DF seems to deteriorate on a daily basis. It’s so hard.

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Dottiethekangaroo · 20/04/2024 19:43

i think it is a good idea to print your concerns and hand it to the assessor. Definitely do it in diary form with his falls and crisis.

unicornsarereal72 · 20/04/2024 19:04

Deferred payment can be agreed with social services. They will put a charge on the property for when it is sold. Regardless of where it is.

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/factsheets/fs38propertyyandpayinggforresidentiallcarefcs.pdf

Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:48

@unicornsarereal72 I’m not sure if DF being ‘out of area’ might affect this.

DF is currently in sheltered accommodation with visiting care near a sibling - not near his house or the LA where he has paid council tax for 50+ years.

This felt like the best interests solution and closest to what DF wanted when we thought DF could still live alone - but district nurses are saying DF needs more and we lurch from one crisis to another with multiple falls this week.

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Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:41

@EmmaGrundyForPM what is the MCA - Mental Capacity Assessment?

Do I ask the GP to do that?

What is hard is that in September DF was still driving, living in his own house and buying his own groceries.

There were incidents in the last few years but the decline has been very rapid.

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Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:38

@Dottiethekangaroo thank you - this is the kind of thing I need to know.

I’ve spoken at length to the ASC team on a regular basis since requesting the care assessment. Unfortunately there have been lots of things to update them on (and to keep him as a priority). Now his assessment appointment is booked, I’ve spoken to the social worker over the phone already.

So on the day I do think I need to let DF answer all the questions and he’ll show how bad things are.

I’ve seen it suggested that it can be helpful to have a diary of things that have actually happened - falls, worrying behaviours, things the district nurse and carers have reported - and I can prepare that but maybe I should print or offer to email rather than talk about it in front of DF?

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unicornsarereal72 · 20/04/2024 18:25

If he agrees they will wait for the property to be sold for their fees you just need to let them know what's happening.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 20/04/2024 18:25

@Dottiethekangaroo social workers can't make anyone move into.residential care if they have capacity and refuse. You can only make a "best interests" decision if you carry out an MCA assessment and the person is found to lack capacity to make a decision about their accommodation.

ShrubRose · 20/04/2024 18:24

FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:21

@ShrubRose both LPAs are signed but still going through the registration process and DF has massively declined in the last 6 weeks since he signed.

Very glad to hear that they are in process.

Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:23

Thanks @Ginnandtonic I think DF will be self-funding but we’re in such a tricky position that he has so little money. The house must be sold but it probably can’t happen fast enough.

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Original poster
FiniteSagacity · 20/04/2024 18:21

@ShrubRose both LPAs are signed but still going through the registration process and DF has massively declined in the last 6 weeks since he signed.

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Dottiethekangaroo · 20/04/2024 17:57

The Most important thing is not to speak for him or about him while he is in the room. If you want to talk to the assessor, ask her if you can have a private word before she sees him.

Once the assessment has started, don’t be temped to prompt his answers. It is essential that the assessor can see for themselves.

A word of warning from my own experience. They are unlikely to make him take residential care even if it is in his best interest. Unless he is a danger to himself or others he will have to make that decision for himself. There is a very loose interpretation of danger to himself.

Ginnandtonic · 20/04/2024 17:04

In my LA if he owns a property that is not his place of residence he will be self funding. If they assess him as needing to be in a residential care home they will discuss this with him and being in his best interest but if he has capacity and doesn't want to go they can't place him in residential care.

ShrubRose · 20/04/2024 16:51

Sounds like you don't have LPOA - ?