My grandmother has mild dementia (I'm using this to score her when I see her, currently she's at a 15: https://www.alz.org/careplanning/downloads/dsrs-scale.pdf ). Official diagnosis is Mixed Dementia of Vascular Dementia & Alzheimers.
Her support worker has told her that she must update her will and do a lasting power of attorney ASAP. I was there during this appointment (I normally live hundreds of miles away). After conversations with my grandmother it seems she wants my mother & I to be joint LPA.
I relayed this to my mother who said that she has already almost finished my grandmother's LPA with her as the sole LPA - she just needs witnesses. I am really, really concerned about this. My mother is a recovering addict and abused me as a child. She has made some ridiculous legal & financial decisions of her own and quite frankly, I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. I have told my grandmother this who is worried (and doesn't remember doing the LPA with my mum), and doesn't want this, but is scared to speak up to my mum who can really steamroll ahead and is pretty manipulative.
My gran has also voiced that she wants to move to my town and have me as her main support as she progresses. However she's thinking of staying put with no family support because she's worried she'll come between my mother & I if she decides to say she wants my support.
I literally don't know what to do?? My mum asked my gran for money to buy a house after she sold her own prematurely and made some bad financial decisions. My gran said no. I'm worried of the impact an LPA with my mum only could have on my gran. I have told my mum that my gran has asked for both of us but my mum is pushing back hard and has said she will finish the LPA with my gran in April. I won't be there and literally won't be able to stop it. Do I just have to watch this absolute train wreck take place??