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Elderly parents

Mum going into a care home

38 replies

YesIwillyesIwillYes · 04/03/2024 14:57

Please hit me up with your best tips to gelp her navigate the first fee days.

i’m going to drive up to transfer her from hospital to the care home.( I live a 7 hour tound trip away.) I’ll stay locally for a night or two to run errands for her and help her settle in. Unfortunately my family is dysfunctional and of course it’s all kicking off. One particular family member’s behavior is just awful.

i’ve ordered a range of labels for her clothes and personal belongings. I’ve bought her some new nightwear and a new dressing gown. And later on I’m going yo the supermarkrt to shop dor touketries, notepad, pen, tissues etc.

The care home we’re hoping to get will confirm later today. My younger sister viewed it on Saturday and seems to think it fits the bill. Although she was in my opinion too focused on the hair salon and beauty parlour. My mum is keen to go to the care home and she’s been in hospital for 3 weeks. .

I’d be grateful for any help/advice as it looks likely to happen very quickly if they agree to take her.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 04/03/2024 19:13

Sew in labels. They take ages to do but it means her clothes won't get lost very often.

caringcarer · 04/03/2024 19:12

Buy the hanging pouches that you can hang on to the back of doors for your Mum to store things in. A clock, calendar she can write on to the squares birthdays etc, wet wipes, tissues, book of stamps, a couple of pens, puzzle books if she likes them Suduko, crosswords, word searches some note let's in case she wants to write to anyone, a couple of bottles of squash in 2 different flavours a few sweets/chocolate.

Ahwig · 04/03/2024 19:01

Although my mum's care home rooms came fully furnished they were happy for her to have her own furniture too. We put in her favourite chair, lamp, bookcase with books in and loads of pictures. They got their handyman to put some on the wall and the rest were dotted around window sills and n the bookcase.
Although they did provide bedding and towels, we took her bedcover too so when she looked at the bed from being in it or from across the room it still looked like hers. Also mums home was happy to use the bedding their residents preferred which in my mums case was definitely sheets and blankets . All of this helped the settling in process.

Lulaloo · 04/03/2024 18:56

Do not use the ‘stick ins ‘labels for clothes, only non washed items, as they do not withstand the high wash temperatures. We had to sew all of ours in by hand.
Nice throw/ blanket, vase, TV were things that we found were needed.

Quizine · 04/03/2024 18:55

At some point (if you think she would like it) get some family photos and trinkets that she likes from her former house for her room. It can make it her own space and can be comforting, but you will know what is best.

I'm not sure of the set up in her NH, but she might need some pound coins and small denominations to pay for bits and bobs like a newspaper etc.

After a week or so you will both identify things that are needed, and the staff will advise. For now you have covered the essentials, so well done and I hope it all works out for you all.

CharmedCult · 04/03/2024 18:47

Everything gets boil washed. Everything.

Is there a family member nearby who will visit regularly and perhaps launder nicer items of clothing? If so, then a laundry bag/basket for your mums room.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 04/03/2024 18:44

Some places supply a TV or clock in the room, but many don't - I'd wait and see on those. Fan is definitely a good call.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 04/03/2024 18:43

They will supply bedding.

Diversion · 04/03/2024 18:33

Perhaps buy her a clock, one with largeish numbers which she can see from her bed or chair. Not something we had thought of but which my PIL requested when they went into a home. They also requested a radio and had to provide their own TV. Make sure everything has their names on and check the home's rules about having electricals ie if they will PAT test them. In summer you might want to invest in a fan as they are often in short supply and a vase, they never seem to have enough for all of the flowers especially around Mother's Day.

YesIwillyesIwillYes · 04/03/2024 17:35

Will I need to buy bedding?

OP posts:
NoBinturongsHereMate · 04/03/2024 15:40

Some homes provide a red bag for emergency hospital admissions. If not, it's handy to do one yourself - a grab bag of spare phone charger, spare glasses, pair of PJs, couple of pairs of knickers, toothbrush and paste, list of current meds, copy of any medical directives, This Is Me booklet, slippers etc.

NoBinturongsHereMate · 04/03/2024 15:34

Label everything is the main point - and you've got that in hand. The rest is going to depend a lot on the specifics of the room, so best to wait until she's in. We found a common problem was lack of storage, so don't pack too much. Once you have a room, think about where you can add organisers - hanging pockets on the back of doors, stacking boxes for things that don't need daily access etc.

There's usually a trial period on both sides, so if a quick move is needed then as long as it seems broadly OK don't worry too much about having found the perfect place. You can always move again if necessary.

olderbutwiser · 04/03/2024 15:00

Check out the laundry facilities - be aware everything goes in to a hot wash so anything like wool or cashmere will not come back wearable.