Mum going into a care home

Agree mini fridge. Keeps cans of juice and wee bottles of wine nice and cold.
Mum has loads of her favourite pictures,books,some furniture from her house,and a couple of stuffed toys that she likes. A digital clock that also states the day of the week and the month is useful. A pack of notelets and some stamps. Lip balm. Favourite mug.

He looks rather sad. But very handsome.

This should be an actual law, I wish everyone did this. I’m a carer and it gives you a hell of a shock sometimes seeing old photos of people back in their heyday. You do get the odd carer having a shitty day that’s the ended up getting impatient with Peter who’s pulled his catheter out and wet his bed for the third time that morning. It’s a visual reminder that he’s a human being and was young once, he didn’t choose to end up in a care home, and that could be you one day. (Used a stock image from a similar thread as an example, haven’t breached work confidentially before anyone asks)

I’d buy lots of spare pants bras and nightwear as it can take a while to go through the laundry.

Lots and lots of family photos and visit as often as you can.

I'd second the mini fridge idea. It can be very hot in care homes. We put chocolate and fresh fruit in my DM's

We got DM a small fridge so she could have cold prosecco pop and chocolate biscuits. Dsis used to keep it stocked up.

Great tips. Thanks for starting the thread OP.

Until -> unique to each

Great ideas on here, I agree with OP, I too am feeling a bit tearful with all the good advice

Before doing any of these things (except possibly the photo of patience in their younger days (gulp)) I'd check in with the home. For example, the one my mother was in, provided 'buttons' like a lapel pin with her own identification (initials but made until to each person' which were used for clothing and saved us a very great deal of sewing.

The second home my dad was in had a picture board outside each person's room, with photos from throughout their lives and little captions.

It was really good for highlighting things that might be important or anchoring, and giving carers something to talk about. Rather than bland chat about the weather they could ask about the childhood dog, cycling trips over the alps, building jet engines, playing in the Salvation Army brass band, or whatever was in the photos.

If they have dementia patients they may only accept liquid soap as some patients try to eat the blocks.
some packets of wet wipes and tissues.
she may have a tv but no aerial but these things you need to check with the care home.
lots of pictures even if her as a younger person is helpful.

Going into a care home saved my mums life. She lived very happily there for 5 years. My mum had severe dementia. When it was time to leave after visits I would ask “do you want some cake Mum? Although she forgot everything else she never lost her love of cake. I would then go through some choices, say “i’ll be back in a minute” This way I avoided the difficulty of parting for her.

I’d just add, label absolutely everything, especially if the care home also accepts residents with any degree of dementia. Not just any photo frames, but the back of the photos, too.

And don’t do what I did, and neglect to stitch the dressing gown belt to the dressing gown (or label it, but stitching is better) so it was lost forever in the wash and I had to buy DM another.

If you can somehow put an identifying mark on glasses (not always easy) do so. IIRC I put dabs of bright nail polish on arms too thin for anything else.

I took a soft blanket that mum always had on Her bed at home. It provided a tiny bit of normality for her.

I also took some of her perfume and (faux) jewellery. She always had her pearls on and could continue to do so.

Mums care home was small - 15 residents and very family orientated. We were always welcomed at any time of day or night. We knew every member of staff and they were all magnificent.

The staff are who make the home in my opinion.

My mum, dad & FIL were in different homes at different times and all provided a TV for residents. Check what this home does

There are often people around who you can pay to bulk sew naming labels into things if you're pressed for time. Think it's normally school uniform but I imagine they're flexible.

Just rembered, own TV with a Dvd player built in was a god send to pass the time if has any favourite films. Staff helped with this in evenings as nan when in from hospital chair/bedbound.

And take photos of her glasses, false teeth etc and fave things so staff can repatriate them to her room.
so much easier to say ‘have you seen her green scarf?’when you can produce a photo of it…
they might also let you bring a family dog into visit

Something to look at - be distracted - when staff do her personal care….
could be a home made family tree of photos showing her husband, her DC her DGC with photos and names.

the staff will know you then when you phone.

Sorry if repeats:
Family photos, my nan had wedding day photo to start. Own bedding and blanket is nice comfort wise. Slippers. Definitely mark everything! Including own mugs. Own tea and coffee biscuits for settling with. Own fridge could be a possibility if preferred Own food sometimes. Pens and notepad for lists. Sweets etc

My tip is a bit different, I use to work in a care home years ago .. we had one resident who use to work as a show girl but high end .. she had two lovely sons very well spoken and had obviously had been brought up very loved ..they put big photo up of they mum young and beautiful in her room it made all the staff view her a little bit differently.. as if we knew her before ..she was only in her 60s early onset dementia ..

Remember to label absolutely everything - her glasses, the charger for her phone as well as the phone itself, her notepad and pen and so on.

(indelible marker on labels of clothes works as well as sew in labels and is a lot less effort)

See if you’re able to put in a big noticeboard or magnetic whiteboard - useful for photographs and cards.

Some pictures of her doing interesting things - remind everyone of the person she really is, and a good conversation starter for staff.

Please can I recommend stamptastic stamps for belongings ?

They work on hot washes as well as books, plastic items etc.

We had one for my dad. Did it stop lots of his things going missing through. Not theft, just disorganisation.

It's a big step but in my experience the people are lovely and your mum will be well cared for.