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Original poster

Am I right to call 111?

257 replies

JamieFrasersSassenach · 17/02/2024 18:15

DM has definitely got cognitive decline.
This week it has got markedly worse.

Today she has been telling me things have happened that I know have not.

Examples are that her heating isn't working - it's 23 in her house.

She says people have been coming in and out of her house all week - British Gas Homecare came twice to put new batteries in her hive thermostat and then to show her how to set her boiler temperature - their records say she was confused.

I live an hours drive away from her, I came over this morning to check everything for her - all good, spent about 2.5 hours with her.

I got home at lunchtime, by 3.30 she had phoned me 3 times to say her heating was not working and she was freezing (her hive account which I have access to was showing the house temperature to be 23) and then that none of her 3 TVs were working.

I came back - everything working fine, DM wearing a vest top because she is so warm.

She then said she phoned me because there were electrical wires all over the floor and she did not know where to put them.

She said I had left the wires there when I was stripping down electrical equipment this morning.

There were no electrical wires and I had not had any electrical equipment out this morning.

I called 111 and spoke to them about her confusion. I am waiting for a call back.

Is there anyone else I could contact for help this evening?

I can't stay here with her and simply cannot keep driving over, or to be honest cope with constant phone calls. I'm thinking maybe she has a uti and this is making her a bit delusional.

Anyone have experience of similar - ideas of what I should do to get DM some help tonight/tomorrow?

I have PoA set up so if she is deemed in the future to lack capacity I can act on her behalf.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 18/02/2024 13:01

Op how is your mum??? Has she seen anyone yet??? Biggest hugs to you both x

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 18/02/2024 12:57

Yes - I've just checked the leaflet online - it says to check with your GP before taking them if you have diabetes. The OOH doctor was very aware of her diabetes, I have no doubt that they are fine for her to take.
I am torn between worry and frustration!

OP posts:
MILLYmo0se · 18/02/2024 12:51

Can you check the info leaflet online, should they be prescribed for someone on metformin?
God what a stressful situation, particularly when they become abusive, you feel so bad leaving them but you can't just sit and be abused either!!

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 18/02/2024 12:44

@Cornettoninja you are right - my concern is that she is nearly 80 and if she goes into hospital she might not come back out.
She has just phoned me to tell me that she has retrieved the antibiotics from the bin but that the leaflet says she should not take them with metformin which she takes for type 2 diabetes.
I think I have persuaded her to take them.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 18/02/2024 11:56

I’m really pleased for you that your dm’s friend is communicative with you. It relieves a small part of the responsibility you must feel.

i understand why you’d rather avoid hospital but if she doesn’t cooperate with the antibiotics it will be the best place for her.

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 18/02/2024 11:44

Thank you - great suggestions. I have spoken to her friend (who she phoned last night to tell them I was having her locked up and she would never be able to speak to her again.)
Friend has phoned her and thinks that she is now looking for the antibiotics in the bin and will take them.
Otherwise I think I will have to phone her GP first thing tomorrow and request a home visit.
I really want to avoid her needing to go into hospital, despite her delusional beliefs on the matter.
DM friend will keep me updated today which is good

OP posts:
Mum5net · 18/02/2024 11:24

OP, maybe by herself your DM will be quieter and more likely to catch up on sleep until Tuesday.
I would also not be on the phone very much to her in the meantime.
Depending on how today plays out then you can take up @gimmegimmegimmeagin suggestion if things still high alert.

gamerchick · 18/02/2024 11:23

I don't think there much you can do until it hits crisis. I'm sorry OP it sounds awful.

gimmegimmegimmeagin · 18/02/2024 11:16

I think you need to speak to her GP in the morning and ask for a home visit and for her to be admitted.

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 18/02/2024 11:07

This morning's update.
I had to come home last night and cannot get back to DM until Tuesday.
She messaged me to say she has thrown the antibiotics in the bin because she isn't taking any old tablets.
I've stayed very clearly that if she chooses not to take them she will probably end up in hospital on a drip.
I don't know what else to do

OP posts:
Mum5net · 18/02/2024 00:00

Hopefully, she crashes out soon and gets much needed sleep.
It.s frightening.
My DM was in this state for about a fortnight prior to section.
I.m sure you have already but minimise ‘risk’… keep harmful things out of sight. DM threw water and banged on windows.
She was both angry and fearful in equal measure.
DM knew we were trying to medicate her so was wary of what she ate.
Trying to get meds down was the hardest.
She gave something to our dog who was very sick.
Ive no good suggestions about getting her to take meds. We failed spectacularly.
Sending you strength and the ability to snatch sleep when she does.

Fucketyfecketyfoo · 17/02/2024 23:45

Well done for pursuing it. It’s UTIs that carry our loved ones away. I’d be worried she wouldn’t take tabs.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 17/02/2024 23:15

Hopefully the antibiotics will sort it. My late mother had vascular dementia and the visual and auditory hallucinations she had were terrible and very upsetting.

Ipadannie · 17/02/2024 22:40

The same thing happened with my dad . He had a raging temperature and was completely erratic and hostile. It's awful to watch.

gimmegimmegimmeagin · 17/02/2024 22:22

At least you have reassurance that it's a UTI, hopefully the dr will be able to see that she can't be left on her own tonight and possibly admit her. She might need IV antibiotics if she's refusing to take them. Hope you're ok OP x

anythinginapinch · 17/02/2024 22:18

That sounds absolutely miserably stressful. I'm really sorry.

aitchteeaitch · 17/02/2024 22:18

I'm glad the doctor has come, hopefully he will be able to help, and at least he has been able to see what she's like at the moment.

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 17/02/2024 22:13

Doctor says she has a uti - she's arguing with him that she would know if she had one so therefore she hasn't got one.
He's trying to get her to take some antibiotics and explaining that if it gets worse she could end up in hospital but she's adamant she hasn't got one.
God this man has the patience of a saint!

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 17/02/2024 22:03

JamieFrasersSassenach · 17/02/2024 21:40

The doctor is here - she's being as nice as pie to him.

Of course she is. Poor you.

Don’t forget the paramedic who spoke to her on the phone will have also reported their findings. maybe drop in how far away you live in front of her and see if that provokes an example of her behaviour towards you at least.

LivingInaBuiltSite · 17/02/2024 21:42

Hope they get there soon, maybe there already.

They will do all the assessments. Sudden onset of confusion and altered behaviour can easily be caused by an infection. She might be showing other signs, like a high temp, raised heart rate and so on.

I have been to similar patients and they have had high infection markers in blood tests once they get to hospital - one I met again a few months later, behaving totally normally.

Hope it all goes ok for you and her. Well done for sticking with her.

Original poster
JamieFrasersSassenach · 17/02/2024 21:40

The doctor is here - she's being as nice as pie to him.

OP posts:
Squirrelsbite · 17/02/2024 21:37

My H’s uncle said quite nasty things when he had a uti he was in hospital at the time as well.
hope your ok OP

Cornettoninja · 17/02/2024 21:25

Good call @JamieFrasersSassenach. Hopefully the dr is minded to her her admitted to hospital. Please make it clear that you don’t live locally and in any case she clearly doesn’t want you right now.

vipersnest1 · 17/02/2024 21:25

Oh, @JamieFrasersSassenach, I know what a horrible situation it is to be in.
Try to remember it's not her speaking at the moment, but whatever is going on in her body.
Just keep telling her you're worried she is unwell and that someone is coming to look at her. It's all you can do just now and will hopefully get you and her through it.
My DM had a very delusional bout when she was at my house once (she was very low on oxygen) and was making remarks about a tv programme we were watching which were totally off the wall. I was very lucky that one of my adult DCs was with me - nevertheless we were both very bewildered and upset by it.
I hope the ambulance arrives soon. Flowers