🪳 Cockroach Café Spring 2024 🪳 🪳

Dropping in, it’s nice in here even when it’s still grey and miserable out there!
Have escaped for some Welsh walking this week so no duty visit. Will phone DPs on Sunday when DF will want to talk about which gadgets/ telly/ tape player doesn’t work and DM won’t be bothered to talk to me at all because she’ll be watching some series or other. Then will visit mid week and be shocked once more at the level of mess and neglect in the house, but they don’t want a cleaner or carers or anything. Grr.

Hello to customers old and new.

My own parents died before troubling me with elderliness, so I never really entered the class, let alone graduated. MIL made up for it, and as the only non-working adult the next generation down I was very much on the front line. The only elderly remaining is FIL, who manages pretty well with our technical and heavy labour support, but can be a little shaky and forgetful at times.

Still getting the adrenaline surges when the phone rings, though, @NoBinturongsHereMate .

I was telling a friend about this great cafe/bar…. He said he didn’t really know how to put into words and guiltily said, do you know what I didn’t like my father. I told him that having somewhere say to say things and not feel bad about is important, sadly we feel conditioned to say we love DPs - but that doesn’t mean we always like them. My current gripe being my sister clearly favours my father over my mother - whereas being a few years older I remember the hurt of the two ‘affairs’ and his childish crushes - and I am not sure I like him very much, but I do find common ground with him and try to remember good points…. And I will support where I can as and when they need it, which maybe fast approaching. Just about to ring and ask about his skin cancer diagnosis. Wish me luck. Nice cold glass of something this evening.

PaBint only had my mobile number, so after he died I was able to change the ringtone to avoid the adrenaline surge every time it rang.

I'm a graduate. I was here a lot with mum's dementia and MIL's never formally diagnosed dementia. I've not been responsible for anyone for over two years which has been about long enough for me not to have an increased heart rate when the landline rings.

Marking my place. I'm a cafe 'associate'. My own dparents have died and I'm supporting dh with his remaining parent (age 93 with dementai and in a care home).

Thanks for the new thread!

I have a feeling I just plopped into the last thread without really introducing myself, so I might as well do that now.

I'm several hundred miles from family, which makes things tricky, but somewhat between elderly-parent responsibilities at the moment. Keeping a foot in the cafe door because I know the next round is coming.

PaBint died just before the pandemic (thankfully) after several increasingly difficult years with Parkisons (including towards the end Parkinsonian dementia), and a wide assortment of other physical health problems.

StepPaBint was diagnosed with vascular dementia a couple of years ago - although we'd seen the signs a decade previously and MaBint had been tracking progress. He's still at home for now with MaBint and no outside carers, and I'm just doing research and long-distance advice.

MaBint is mentally fine but beginning to decline physically.

Thank you, place is looking lovely. Just popped some Scotch in the drinks cupboard, I’m off gin at the moment.

<Hangs coat on peg>

We only have 1 snowdrop in the garden so far this year. I'll have to take a closer look at it.

Fascinating about the snowdrops! Sorry conversation with your df was slow.

Thanks @MereDintofPandiculation ooh it all looks lovely! You’ve even plumped the cushions in the bad daughters ( large) lounge! And not bothered with the never used good daughters broom cupboard…..
welcome regulars, lurkers or newbies.