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Elderly parents
Original poster

Help: Mum in hospital, says she wants to go in a care home.

80 replies

YesIwillyesIwillYes · 15/02/2024 01:33

My recently bereaved Mum is currently in hospital and says she doesn’t want to go home to her bungalow but wants to go into a care home. Although she’s late 80s she’s still in pretty good health and she has no sign of dementia (she does forget some things). She says she wants a care home near the bus stop so she can “get the bus places”. And walkable into town so she can go to the market and out for coffee. I really want to help her meet her needs but is a care home going to be the right place for her? Will a care home let her come and go like that? Might she be better off in an assisted living type place?

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 15/02/2024 04:02

Care homes aren't prisons!

But if she's that independent, I don't think a care home will be the right place for her.

There are other options such as sheltered housing and extra care. I suggest she speaks to her local Adult Social Care team who can offer advice.

trisky · 15/02/2024 04:00

If she doesn't have dementia then the home shouldn't have a locked door so in theory she could come and go. However if she's able bodied enough to do so as you describe then she's unlikely to be eligible for residential care if she's wanting it paid for by the state.

For the state to pay she'd need 'eligible needs'.

endofthelinefinally · 15/02/2024 03:39

She is worried about being lonely/ scared of being alone.
I very much doubt that a care home will allow her to come and go freely.
I think you should look at all possible ways to address her fears, but a care home should be a last resort.

SueblueNZ · 15/02/2024 03:25

I find it really refreshing that your mum has recognised that living alone is no longer viable for her.
My own mum, then dad (two years apart) had to almost be dragged to care homes because they were not coping, but they could not understand the realities of being unsafe at home.
I cannot answer about the freedoms afforded to care home residents. All the best in helping her to find the right space.

Teasie123 · 15/02/2024 01:36

The best thing to do is for both U and Ur mum to sit down with someone who knows about what type of places would be best for her. If it is definitely what she wants to do and she knows her own limitations then U can both decide together.xx

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