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Elderly parents
Original poster

Carers after a stroke

38 replies

Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 03:04

I’ll try to keep it short
my husbands mum has a history of complex health issues including cancer.
she had a stroke 4 months ago and currently in rehab , she can’t walk need helps with personal hygiene but can talk use arms , they have suggested looking to release her with carers 4x per day.
we live abroad so cannot support with care.
will this be enough 30 mins 4 x per day ? What happens is she needs toilet in between ? Who does shopping and cleaning - she is relatively young 64 and therefore doesn’t want a care home but I’m assuming more or longer carers she would have to self fund ?
she doesn’t have much in way of income 500 per month private pension , 18k savings but a valuable home.
what will happen if this care isn’t enough ?

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Original poster
Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 11:18

@Cozytoesandtoast00 yes I appreciate it may improve however there were problems before this happened. No walking properly, dragging feet and shuffling - falls ( unsure if related to previous brain surgery many years ago - complex health history as I said ) or a series of what we think were mini strokes. We saw this coming , but not great before so I can’t see (I’m no expert though ) a huge improvement happening

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Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 11:11

@Sunnnybunny72 yes it sounds grim !

we tried to get her have a cleaner before this all happened as she just wasn’t doing it herself but she refused to pay - very tight with her money. Even stuff like online shopping how does it get unpacked ? She’s not capable

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Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 11:08

@KinKenKon there is no husband. We live abroad so cannot help. There is a sibling but lives hours away with other life responsibilities so anything popping in more then once a week is not practical- there is no one else.

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Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 11:05

@countrygirl99 yes she lives alone has done for many years. Even things like having a wheelchair and getting around in her house I’m not sure the space is big enough - I just can’t envisage how home is possible. She was struggling before the stroke but was mobile at least.

@SeriouslyAgain she is getting physio In rehab - I appreciate all you are saying but how if she doesn’t have funds ? How much is attendance allowance per week ? Is it easy to claim

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SeriouslyAgain · 01/02/2024 07:37

The most important thing long-term is to make sure that she is getting physio. I would say that that is really worth spending money on if state provision isn't enough. It will be worth its weight in gold if she can recover more now.
Short-term, apply for Attendance Allowance. If she gets it, it will help cover some extra support.
4x carers per day is the maximum so if more is needed or wanted she'll have to pay. Personally I think it's worth doing. Like the physio, it's a long-term gain if she can regain independence now with the right help. Better that than falling at the first hurdle and having no choice but a care home.
There should be an OT assessment done too and she should be provided with equipment to assist her. Again though, if it's not enough, it's worth paying for anything that would help.
Basically because she's so young, it's worth taking a longer term view.

Sunnnybunny72 · 01/02/2024 06:15

Private cleaner.
Online shopping.
Pads for toileting.
People do live like this if they refuse a care home, it can be pretty grim.
Ex district nurse.

Cozytoesandtoast00 · 01/02/2024 06:09

I echo what the other pp have said.
However, a diagnosis of stroke doesn’t mean she will always be at this level and should hopefully be on the stroke pathway for at home rehabilitation. If it’s available in your area.

countrygirl99 · 01/02/2024 06:03

Even if she is assessed as needing a care home she can refuse. LAare highly unlikely to find more than 4 visits. If she can use her arms she may be able to get herself onto a toilet/commode from a wheelchair, otherwise she will be reliant on pads. She may be able to do an equity release to raise funds .
You don't mention a FIL so I'm assuming she lives alone. She may find that once she is home it's too hard and change her mind. She might be like my FIL was and think if she is stubborn enough the world will bend to her will.

grannycake · 01/02/2024 05:54

Has she applied for attendance allowance - this could be used to pay for more help eg cleaners?

KinKenKon · 01/02/2024 05:09

4 times a day is generally the maximum care package you can get at home. Anything above that you'd be sourcing and paying for privately. I doubt very much a private carer or agency would agree to payment at a later date when her house is sold.

Shopping and cleaning (other than kitchen and bathroom hygiene) doesn't fall under personal care so will be her and her husband's responsibility to organise.

The hospital should be doing assessment to make sure she and her husband and any available wider family can manage between them in between carer visits. If they really can't manage then they'll try to persuade her to look at a care home but ultimately some people just have to go home and try it for themselves.

She is very young for a care home, where many residents will have varying degrees of dementia

Original poster
Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 04:35

Can she get extra care and use value in her home to offset it ? I really cannot see her agreeing to a care home given she is fairly young in real terms and they said as she has capacity it will likely be her choice (in fact she doesn’t even want carers but was clearly told there is no way she could go home without this as a minimum )

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lovinglaughingliving · 01/02/2024 04:20

She has below the savings threshold (£26.5k) so she needs a social worker for a financial and needs assessment, they will says CHC checklist will need to be completed, but I'm not sure she will be eligible from what you've said as no primary health need indicated only care needs so social services will foot the bill until her house can be sold and then they'll take back what she owes! I would suggest she needs a care home rather than home on her own X

Original poster
Melmi256 · 01/02/2024 03:16

Also to be clear this isn’t about us be worried about protecting any inheritance for her home ! Clear that if needed care home this would have to through sale of property. But if she doesn’t want a care home (apparently has capacity to decide this) then how can she physically get more care at home if can’t afford. I’m no expert but cannot see how she can live at home in her current state.

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