DM wants a riser-chair costing £4.5k! Advice v welcome

My mum had a riser chair and it was a lifeline in her last few years. She stayed at home which was her wish and I don’t think it would have been possible without the “chair”. We then donated to the hospice charity so someone could use it.
we shopped around and found a local firm who came to the house with 3 or 4 in her chosen colour scheme in the back of a van for mum to try without having to travel. It was reasonable value and worth every penny in our case.

It is your job to keep an eye on the finances for your mum's benefit. If she were a multi millionaire that might be another matter, but if she would be facing penury in the future, it's worth at least thinking about how to rein this in. I can well understand it - after all the carer alone costs over £100000 a year, plus costs of house etc, and she's no longer able to make those plans.

Furniture that presents a possible risk to her isn't just a fun purchase either.

Brutal honesty... how is your mum's memory? If she had the fun of going through the catalogues and choosing stuff, which never actually turned up, would she be upset? Or would she consider making a list of things to buy next week..? Or could she get into Vinted??

However, I think if you have a nice carer she likes, and you've never yet had the conversation about this, it's well worth talking to the carer about whether there's another way to handle it. I certainly wouldn't rush to a nursing home.

Can you have a 'quiet' word with the carer and let her know that youre concerned how your dm will manage without her given that she'll have run out of money in a couple of months unless she stops her spending?

@herewegoagainonmydog and @Valleyofthedollymix as another OT I can't see where it says they are at risk of falls or have anything to suggest they are at risk of admission.....fine she is entitled to an OT ax, but not to jump a queue where others may have greater needs.

And irrelevant of that, riser recliners are not always best and would be unlikely to prescribed by either a health or Social Services OT at present as a first point of call, without other needs that we haven't been made aware of. They can stand people up very quickly so you actually .at need quite good balance. If used every time people can become reliant on them...that can then make other transfers such as toilet and bed difficult even with equipment as there isn't the raising action. Those chairs aren't future proof either as may not work with Rotundas or hoists.

Yes OP please ask for an Occupational Therapy ax but could also consider finding a disabled living centre where chairs can be tried before purchase if you have one locally. If she is having problems standing and may be at risk of falls, then she potentially needs a period of rehab to increase her strength, stamina, Transfers and mobility.....especially of she isn't getting much practise at doing things if the carers does all her tasks for her.....

It's a real shame and she does seem like she is being taken advantage of and screwed over by the carer. At the end of the day her 200 scarfs are going to Binned in house clearance so of course its a waste of money. Let's hope there is enough money let in her estate to bin all of the brand new crap into landfill.

She has dementia and is vulnerable. But I'm not sure what you do.

My DM has one of the riser/recliner chairs. On the whole I think it is a good thing especially as DM now has back and hip problems which are badly affecting her mobility.

The one she has now has been going for a number of years. I think it was bought secondhand.

The first one was allegedly new, cost significantly more and broke down within a very small number of weeks.

It was heavily sold to DM. It took a bit of effort to get her money back. They sent an 'engineer' out who was no doubt going to claim DM had caused the motor to burn out. He was a bit put out when he arrived to find me there saying I had crawled under it and taken lots of pictures. He didn't stay more than 5 minutes. Didn't look at the chair and made big legs out of the door, saying he would need to speak to 'head office'.

DM had to take them to the small claims court to get her money back.

We got ours from DFS, DH needs it. Take her there, the salesmen are very friendly, obviously want to make a sale, she can choose the fabric and it will cost under £`1k

The OP's mother is 82 with mild dementia. My DF was in that situation at that age. He's now 90, in a nursing home which costs over £60,000 per year, and it's not impossible that he could be there for years yet.

An 82 year old could have easily have a decade's worth of care to pay for, so pissing the money away on cashmere jumpers which won't be worn, is not wise.

@Valleyofthedollymix When we needed one for an elderly relative, it was a private OT who did the measuring. Since a private OT could do it, I would imagine that your NHS OT would be able to - that's who I'd ask first of all.

Pre loved all the way , unless mum has a dodgy back that needs a specialist seat ?

Sorry also meant to say - if the chair is necessary then it also means that other stuff like toilet frames, grab rails/steps etc all get assessed and provided.

Another thing to emphasise is admission prevention and carer strain

If it's thought that the state might need to reassess/admit her to hospital etc then this is crudely an expense that can be avoided with the right equipment

Might it be worth revisiting the idea of a care home? There's some very nice ones and they might have a better handle on how to manage any inappropriate spending.

If she's partial to sales patter and a glossy brochure, maybe she'll reconsider it.

This is what I was going to say. That frivolous and unnecessary spending on clothes is out of character and most likely a result of the dementia - so part of the OP's mother's lack of capacity rather than a considered choice.

I'd also be concerned that the carer is exercising some influence on the spending - maybe getting some vicarious pleasure from it.

The cost of the chair may be justified thought, but I'd see if an OT assessment could be arranged before it's purchased.

Very quick reply. I'm OT and would recommend you request urgent OT as your mother is At risk of falls That's the bit that makes an assessment urgent.

I used to issue the riser recliner chairs. They would have integral pressure relief and material that met infection control standards.

Good luck!

Bloody hell... It's HER money!

I’d have sharp words with the agency, either replace the carer or change agency.

For my Nan getting in and out of her chair was a kind of exercise in itself, as her world got smaller and walks, outings etc dwindled to none.

What would you rather she did with it?
Pass it down maybe?

@Valleyofthedollymix

I would call the care company, say you're unhappy with the carer and request another. This is perfectly normal.

Could you phone Age Concern for some advice regarding the carer?

You have a duty here.

You MUST replace the carer.

@JustWhatWeDontNeed id be pissed odd if my mother pissed away money she hasn’t earnt on things she didn’t need and didn’t being anybreal
joy but which would make a real difference to my or my children’s life. I think most people would be.