Clearing a parents house

56 replies

Ceebeegee · 03/01/2024 11:49

Hello everyone, just looking for some advice because I'm struggling with the situation currently.
My elderly dad is now in a care home. He has a rental property that we have now have to give up and return. I haven't given notice yet (on my dads behalf as POA) and the rent is still being paid, so there is no sense of real urgency so I keep putting it off.
He has lived here 52 years so there is years and years of "stuff" to deal with.
Where do you start?
It was my childhood home and, due to emotional situation anyway, I am struggling to rationally do any clearing of the house because everything suddenly seems sentimental.
How do you break through the barrier of sentimentality? I dont have room to store a 3-bed house worth of stuff, but I feel like I am being horrible if I get rid of anything.

The remaining clothes, linens and bedsheets, I can easily donate to charity or a clothing bin., But I struggle when it comes to books / artwork / trinkets / CD's / hobby collections of my fathers. He had a few collectible hobbies, that he has aquired over his 82 years - I think a lot are worthless to anyone else but they were my dads quirky hobbies so it feels disrespectful taking them to the dump/recycling centre.
I dont know where to start. I keep walking into a room thinking I'll tackle this room first, but I dont make any progress because I cant bear to part with any of it. But my dad isn't coming home so it needs to go.
Where do I start and how to get over the sentimental block?

OP posts:

Mum5net · 03/01/2024 11:59

oops, might have read that wrongly... he is the renter rather than the landlord. Apologies.

alldone · 03/01/2024 11:58

I know how difficult this can be. Things I found useful were taking photos of things so that they were not lost completely. This may work with hobby and collection stuff. Maybe put a few shots together in a frame for him to enjoy and remember if you think he would like that.
I also found clearing the obvious stuff out first helped enormously. All the recycling, all the obvious charity donations, I think perhaps because the house then losses it sense of being theirs as it starts to look and feel a bit different in increments.
Good luck.

Mum5net · 03/01/2024 11:57

Can I just jump in quickly about the rental property and giving notice? Make sure that the person whose name is on the original rental agreement is the same as the person on the documents giving notice, or this could be challenged and delay matters.
Jumps back out.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 03/01/2024 11:55

That's really hard. It's hard enough sorting things when they've died but at least you feel like they had use out of it when they were alive and now it's no use to them you can kind of rationalist that it's fine for it to go.

But when they're still around it's hard. And might they ask about it, to see some of the stuff?

rumred · 03/01/2024 11:53

Get a friend to help. It's overwhelming on your own

olderbutwiser · 03/01/2024 11:51

Could you rent storage, so as you clear the house you can have a donate pile, a rubbish pile (there will be some) and a store pile? Then give yourself a little time to gear up to clearing the storage? If you have POA could this be paid for by DF?

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