Clearing a parents house

.... in this pile and made it easier to sort through.

We also had a large corner of one room where we put the 'I don't know how I feel about this at the moment' stuff. It became enormous but meant as soon as with dithered over something it went in this pile so we were able to crack on. As time went on we realised there were lots of duplicates

I think I would just take it the stuff you think your Dad will want to see again or that you definitely want to keep and then personally I would get a house clearance in. It saves you going through this and will be quicker so will save the rent.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER I have kept a couple of old spoons and a big china serving plate that were my great grandmas, but my late gran and mum always used them for cooking at Xmas. They must be over 100 years old by now and still going strong!

However my new years resolution is to start to clear my own kitchen cupboards and attic of "stuff" so that when my DH and I pop off (hopefully not for a while yet!) it's much less hassle for my DC to deal with.

When we were clearing DM’s house after she had to move to a care home (dementia) a Sis IL had the bright idea of advertising an ‘open afternoon’ on the local Freecycle or local FB/both, and we put a lot of usable household stuff - even if far from pristine, e.g. old saucepans and crockery, in the sitting room.

It was amazing what people came and took away - which saved us several trips to either tip or charity shop.
The sentimental items were very hard to deal with but none of us had room to take everything.
One thing I took was an ancient wooden spoon my DM had had for ever - it was worn right down on one side. I told dh very firmly NOT to put it in the dishwasher, but of course he eventually did, and bits of it broke off. 🤬

It also taught me not to hang onto things you no longer want/need Easy to say, harder to, both on the practical (I may need that in the future) and the emotional (disposing of your climbing gear is admitting your deterioration)

Reading some of these posts I was starting to think I must be really hard! I cleared out my late DM's flat when she moved into care - by myself, and with no car, it took me months. Also my late DF's studio apartment a year ago. However I am not really sentimental, which no doubt makes it easier. I just got stuck in and did it, and funnily enough I sort of missed going to Mum's flat every day after work and during the weekend - it gave me a sense of purpose. It also taught me not to hang onto things you no longer want/need, especially as I don't have family to clear out my place when I no longer live here.

And yes, I did get a skip - best idea ever!

I'm in the same situation OP and it's so hard. Dm is widowed and going into a care home. Have 2 weeks left before house is sold (our old family home), and still so much left to clear.

Wishing we'd used a house clearance company now - I was scared they'd just come and tip everything, but sounds like that's nit true. It's taken so long sorting everything, we still need storage as a large amount of my mum's stuff not ready to let go of yet. Charity shops are rightly quite picky, and even giving stuff away on fb is time consuming. I feel emotionally drained by the process - itd like throwing my parents lives away.

It's the flip side to having had lovely parents, a very happy childhood that I miss, and them having a large house with lots of lovely things in it. And I try to remember that and be grateful.

My Dad's place was rented.
I had to clear it FAST as the landlords wanted it back.

We cleared my DGMs house when she went into care and because we could only do one day a week it took us most of the year. It was a very big house full of stuff.

All the food was distributed amongst the family. Her cupboards full of laundry detergent, hand wash and body wash friends had, we had a skip for the sheds, my DS and his friends had the alcohol and we gave alot to charity. I kept some fabulous bed linen and Christmas ornaments and we dug up some bulbs. We also kept photographs. We had a house clearance firm to get rid of the big stuff.

I know you geek bad about getting rid of it but it's just stuff. I've already told my DS to keep the photographs and my decent jewellery the rest can go.

Yes, my parents had that too. The man’s wardrobe is a beautiful thing, with a sliding out hanging rack for trousers, lots of mahogany drawers for socks, pants, etc.

The hardest thing for me when we cleared my Mums bungalow was watching her bedroom suite, a 'mans' wardrobe a 'ladies' wardrobe ( I kid you not, it was a thing back in the day) a huge dressing table complete with mirror, and a bedhead, being loaded into the back of a charity van.
My parents bought this when my Dad came home from fighting in WWII, it was my Mums pride and joy and survived at least 6 house moves. The wardrobes still had the original keys in the locks!

I had to empty what was my childhood home ( due to death of last parent )
Don't put anything in paid storage as you can't keep that going forever .
As much as it feels wrong ( about his hobbies ) remember they are his hobbies not yours and he's had his enjoyment from them and if he is now unable to carry that hobby on - you need to let those items go .
It's perfectly ok to save a few things that remind you of your parents home / your childhood but let that be it , just a few things .
Old LPs could be sold or given to charity . Furniture is mainly not worth selling even the old dark furniture ( unless heirlooms )
I emptied a 3 bed in about 3/4 weeks mostly by myself .
Tbh what I found the most sad was saying goodbye to the house and all the memories within but reality is you carry those memories in you.

Keep what will be useful to you in the months after you take it home.

Keep what makes you smile

Get rid of the rest, especially anything that makes you sad, even for an instant as you look at it.

On the clearing side : triage

• utter junk
• maybe junk
• stuff

This thread is so useful, I’m about to start this job as my mum has gone into a care home . We have an incredibly cluttered bungalow to clear and I live 70 miles away .

P.s. They cleared the house for free!

Myself and my brothers went room by room through Mums house, and packed up photos, the odd ornament, a bit of silver, a tea set, one or two prints.

TBH the rest was just stuff, so we got a clearance company in. I picked a good local one, they sorted what they want, what they can sell, and what they can give to charity. They were aligned with the local hospice. They recycle as much as possible. They were so honest, they even gave me some coins they found in a tin!

Made it so much easier. Good luck. It is very emotional.

Get a friend to help... they'll be able to see things more clearly and objectively than you. Maybe allow yourself a certain number of items to keep then stick to it. Take photos of things you are getting rid of then that way you won't forget them but don't have to actually keep them...I do this with my DC's art work!

I had to do this for my widowed dad when he moved to a care home. I packed up the sentimental stuff, and stored it in my loft. That way, he saw me packing it all carefully to keep, and was happy it wasn't being dumped. After he died, I was able to move it on, because he wasn't here to be upset.

Unless you're extremely local to the house I'd be wary of the amount of effort involved in Freecycling or FB Matketplace stuff. Particularly bigger items. Loads of conversations that lead to stuff not going, people not turning up when they say they will, people turning up without the means to get larger item home etc.

Ring any charity shops in advance - ours close to donations frequently so you can just turn up with a car full and get turned away which isn't helpful if it's your only day available!

House clearance company. They will keep to one side anything you ask them to (eg paperwork and photographs), should have the knowledge to judge whether art etc is likely to be valuable and can sell it for you, will take anything saleable to charity shops and anything else to the tip. You can ask them to leave anything you'd like to sort yourself.

It's a massive job especially when you're emotionally involved, and takes a lot of time.

You usually pay them for this, but any profit from it comes to you, minus their costs.

I take the view that if the parent had wanted their stuff kept, looked after etc they should have decluttered and got on top of things years ago rather than expecting someone else to do it.

Ask a friend. I had to do similar for my mum a few months back. My brother helped a bit but mainly I just stayed down and blitzed it with friend over a few weeks. Friend made me be realistic about the sentimental stuff. More got dumped than would have liked because lots of places don’t want old crockery unless it’s compete sets for example. Few boxes of stuff stored in my brother’s garage. I’ve got a few bits to try and sell plus probably kept more stuff for me than I need.
The suggestion of finding someone who collects same as your dad is a good one. Keep a few bits that he or you can display and just donate the rest to a younger enthusiast.
It’s surprisingly hard work but great sense of relief when it’s done. Good luck

We hired a house clearance company. It was a few years ago now so I can’t remember the exact details or cost, but two men in a huge lorry came and literally removed the entire contents of the house, including the carpets. We kept very little.
I can’t even remember what they would have done with it, but it was generally in very poor condition.

It’s very hard, but strangely, it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It’s just something that needs to be done.

Clear the bathroom, kitchen and any other "less memories" spaces completely

Then do clothes and linens, books and electricals plus any big furniture - beds, sofas, dining suite etc

Clear any outdoor stuff - gardening equipment etc.

Then sit on it for a while. You'll have a sense of achievement and a sense of what's next