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Elderly parents

How to stop elderly parent from driving!

204 replies

Catchupwiththeneighbours · 03/12/2023 12:27

Just after a bit of advice please.

Parent is 90 and I really feel he shouldn't be driving anymore especially as his car is a very powerful model and he over estimates his capability.

Earlier in the year I reported him to the DVLA and felt awful but that I had done the right thing and lo and behold they passed him fit to drive!!

He is being fairly sensible in that he won't drive in the dark or rain but still goes on the motorway occasionally, to the supermarket, church, health appointments etc.

We were at a funeral recently and all his friends expressed great concern that he was still driving as have various health professionals. Does anyone have any advice please? We have a pretty ropey relationship tbh, many big fallings out over the years and he does not take kindly to any help or interference but I just cannot help think that he's going to cause a dreadful accident if he carries on like this. He's had a couple of near misses, driven over the grass, hit a kerb, that kind of thing. So hard as it will remove his independence and I don't live particularly near to him but don't feel we can allow this to continue.

TIA

OP posts:
KnittedCardi · 03/12/2023 12:59

A member of our family is 92, has no vision in one eye, and hasn't had for many years, she is always having accidents, the most recent one she completely destroyed a central reservation. We can't get her excluded from driving, she has just bought herself a new car with the insurance payout. I am not sure how bad you need to get but...... it would seem there are no limits.

Step Dad we stopped driving by taking away his keys, when he kept getting lost and not knowing where he was. He still insisted he was fine, we had to be cruel to be kind. We used the funds from selling the car, no longer having to insure it, or fix the many dents, or put petrol in it, to pay for taxis.

Catchupwiththeneighbours · 03/12/2023 12:57

He is only took the test a month or so ago, I wouldn't particularly say he's deteriorated since then but was just stunned that they passed him. He can barely turn his neck, see over the steering wheel or anything like that. I put the reason as cataracts, I'm honestly stunned that they let him continue. You could knock him over with a feather, where would he have the strength or reactions to deal with an emergency situation I've no idea.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 03/12/2023 12:43

Report again, and put in that health professionals are mentioning their concern.

Choux · 03/12/2023 12:41

If something has changed in his health or driving ability since you last reported him then report him again.

At 90 health, spatial awareness and judgement can decline quite rapidly. They may not pronounce him fit to drive now.

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