Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Living in own home

109 replies

SeriouslyAgain · 02/12/2023 16:06

This is just going to be the bloody death of me. I'm very 'lucky' that we have enough money for 24 hour care at home for my mum.
But aside from the constant phone calls about mum, it's the constant bloody phone calls about the house.
Just been trying to unblock a toilet because god only knows what's being put down them. Mum doesn't even use the toilet because she's in pads. But about once a month one or other toilet is blocked.
And if it's not that, it's the toilet seat being broken, or a bulb needs changing or 'the fridge is making a funny noise' or the dishwasher isn't working or the radiators need bleeding. What in God's name do people do?! I hardly ever have these issues in my house, which is way smaller and with more people in it so everything is used way more.
But on and fucking on it goes. Backwards and bloody forwards, me, my husband, tradesmen (but of course getting one on a wkend is bloody difficult and painfully expensive). Aaaaaargh. Just so bloody sick of it. Especially when mum has allegedly been about to die for about a year so I'm backwards and forwards trying to manage that too. But really, trying to scoop shit out of a toilet does make me wonder how long I can cope with keeping mum at home.

OP posts:
Mosaic123 · 02/12/2023 16:38

That's what we had to do in the end. The wiring was very old and cut out a few times. DM was on an oxygen machine and used a stair lift.

Impossible to rewire with both parents in the home.

SeriouslyAgain · 02/12/2023 16:33

The house is definitely due a refurb, although it has had stuff done recently. But I can't do any of the big things with mum there. And often it just seems to be a lack of care. It's all set up like a Healthcare setting with separate bins for pads and things like that. I really can't do any more to try to make it manageable for them or for me. I do all the stuff like cleaning filters on machines, changing bulbs, bleeding radiators, and we have a handyman who comes and does stuff too. But still I had to spend my Saturday afternoon scooping shit out of a toilet.
Aaasrgh sorry to rant and thank you for listening.
It's the end of a long week of mum being at death's door and then staging miraculous recoveries. I just want to give up and put her in a home. (though obviously I won't)

OP posts:
youngones1 · 02/12/2023 16:28

Just be grateful your mum doesn't have to go into a nursing home.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/12/2023 16:23

I bet the carers are emptying the contents of the pads down the roller. Along with the wipes. As they will make the bin smell.

Mosaic123 · 02/12/2023 16:19

It might be, as it was in the case if my parents who had a live in carer, that things in the house are slowly wearing out. Possibly they did the house up many years ago and everything is old now.

Sorry that you have this stress.

Bonbon21 · 02/12/2023 16:16

If Mum isnt mobile, then who is blocking the toilet?
Are the carers flushing wipes?
If so, you contact the 'agency' and tell them the next plumbing bill will be forwarded to them!

PermanentTemporary · 02/12/2023 16:16

So it must be the carers who poo?? I'd be tempted to give them a big jar of prunes for Christmas...

SeriouslyAgain · 02/12/2023 16:12

Thank you for replying! I didn't really expect a reply - I just wanted to vent! But no, mum isn't mobile and basically her downstairs is set up with all sorts of equipment /hoists etc. Her life is utterly crap but the best I can do for her is make sure she stays at home with carers who make her life as normal as possible. But the poo really did make me think that I'm reaching the end of my tether!

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 02/12/2023 16:09

God that sounds unbelievably wearing.

Is your mum mobile?

Swipe left for the next trending thread