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Elderly parents
Original poster

Is this the end?

27 replies

Cumulonimbusincus · 17/11/2023 17:29

DF has end stage COPD, CHF and Alzheimer’s. The last few years have been a constant to and fro between hospital and care home. Today the care home rang to say he’d been admitted, followed by a doctor from the hospital. The doctor left a voicemail saying “I’ll call back as your father is in hospital and unwell”. Is ‘unwell’ doctor speak for really serious/end of life? I got the feeling from his tone that that’s the case. I’m away on holiday with DH and two small children so I’m trying to decide whether to get them home first or travel to the hospital with them, although obviously I wouldn’t let them see DF.

OP posts:
Pleaseletitbebedtime · 17/11/2023 18:09

Yes it is.

Stroopwaffels · 17/11/2023 17:43

You need to speak to the doctor. In my experience of a parent who was admitted to hospital in a similar condition, they laid it out explicitly. Consultant said things like "if you have other siblings you need to tell them to come right away" and used phrases like "palliative care" and "all we can do is keep him comfortable". No doubt what they are trying to say.

Does your father have a DNR in place, or has this been discussed with you? Again in my experience they broach this on admission to hospital, especially with a very elderly man with underlying issues.

Much love to you, hope you get through to the hospital and speak to someone. If you can't speak to the doctor, try to get hold of a senior nurse. Doctors are often thin on the ground over the weekend.