I don't know what I want from this really, just maybe to see if anyone has any other suggestions!
My dad (79) lives in London, I'm Suffolk and have been for 15 years. My mum (79) has alzheimer's plus a slew of other conditions. She was in a care home near my dad but their plan was always to move nearer me. 2.5 years ago my dad and I made the decision to move mum near me and I'd hold the fort while he sorted his end out and moved. He hasn't.
In the meantime, he's had treatment (radio) for prostate cancer and has had complications since then. But it's driving me bonkers that he still hasn't made any plans to move. I honestly think it's going to be too late (if it's not already) for him to bother moving.
Her sisters come and visit weekly, leapfrog each other, I go and see her frequently so she doesn't go more than a day without a visitor. Dad comes up once (sometimes twice) a week. My brother saw her once, December 2021. No effort since then. It's 'harder for boys' apparently.
I've tried so many different ways to encourage him to move, there's literally nothing standing in his way apart from the fact it's a massive move. And I get it. It's his home he shared with mum and the house my brother and I grew up in. But I'm still 'holding the fort' here with mum. The only upside to this is how much I've been able to spend time with her but she doesn't have much time left.
Currently sitting with Covid so can't visit her. Dad's planning on coming up later next week rather than this weekend or Monday. Which means she'll have gone days without a visitor.
If you've read this far, thank you. If you've ever successfully wrangled an elderly parent into moving, please share how! I'm cross at him, at my brother and at myself for not having persuaded him so far. I know I'll get a call from the care home one day and I'll be there in ten minutes, worrying about my dad making the long drive and being too late.