🪳 Cockroach Cafe 🪳 Autumn 2023

I'm mostly a lurker but have found these threads incredibly helpful - I also think a single thread works well and keeping the name makes it easier for occasional visitors to find and dip in and out.

Another vote for a single thread! And given the significance of “cockroach” to not go for a name change either

Heya.

I’m still fairly new here so feel like my vote shouldn’t count as much as the long-timers but I like the mix of the light and the heavy. It’s like the best conversations with friends that can go from crying in frustration to crying with laughter without anyone skipping a beat.

My vote is for one thread too. I was attempting to see all sides in my previous post so maybe sounded on the fence.

I also like the cockroach name; I have good memories of yolofish and her helpful posts. There are so many helpful people on these threads, I hope as I enter the next phase I can contribute my experience too.

agree with one thread

I can't see 2 threads working tbh. The distinction between the two would get blurred and I think we'd end up with 2 "mixed" threads anyway.

Another vote for one thread - I just don't have the brain space to remember what I'm meant to post where!

Another vote for keeping one thread: when you just want a rant it can be comfortingly humbling to see what others are going through and when you are dealing with the worst then trivial humour can be a lifesaver.
Not fond of cockroaches but it is very memorable and searchable.

And yet another long time lurker. My thoughts is that if you split into two threads people might have to do a lot of re explaining of circumstances all the time whereas all in one place it is easy ( ish) to scroll back and see what is going on for everyone and to understand the background of a situation . Thanks to all the regulars for all your posting - it clearly helps lots of us.

Oh and I hate cockroaches but appreciate that maybe the continuity is good.

Another long time lurker introducing myself to say I like the balance of light and heavy on this thread. I have found it hugely comforting over the last 4 or so years to see that we are not the only family going through this horror. I have also learned a lot. Nobody talks about it irl. I like the name too as I remember its inception.

I like the name Cockroach Cafe - it continues the thread for anyone looking from suggestions on different threads or reading through old ones. And it seems to sum up the odd, frustrating and sometimes inadvertently whimsical scenarios in which we find ourselves in these often irrational and difficult times. There is such a bastion of strong support and wisdom on here - with much insight and often welcome touches of humour.

Although "Cockroach Reproach" has a certain ring to it...

Introducing myself as another lurker. We have DMIL(89) in supported sheltered accom and DM(83) who is "just about managing in her own home". So haven't got things as hard as many of you on here.
How about the "what's that bug called?" cafe as a tribute to the old thread title.
May start contributing to the new thread too.

At least cockroaches deter casual visitors.
Reproach might be the way to go if we're removing our cocks, as it were.

🤣🤣 I take it you aren't thinking of keepers of elderly poultry

Leave the “cocks” out of it or we’ll get people looking for a completely different type of thread!

@MereDintofPandiculation as a veteran I’ll go with the majority😉I have noticed there are lots of us who signpost others onto this thread when they’re getting a battering - ooops being given opinions on other threads…l

@SeriouslyAgain that did make me smile, when MiL started with the stolen chickens I hadn’t quite got to grips with ‘following into her world’ as one of her current nurses calls it. At times she would look at me and say, stop that face I can tell by your eyes what you are thinking. Facial expressions, reading them starts the minute you are born ….

I can see pros and cons to both ideas re this thread. And I am guilty of going off on a long tale. I wasn’t sure if the history of this post and its name - but it has a certain quirky ring to it now.

Maybe the search facility doesn’t always point people to the most useful active posts? I don’t always find the search works. I am shocked that anyone would come on here and deliberately make it into a controversial discussion group, but I came off Nextdoor Neighbour when I saw how weird and nasty that could get, that and a guy trying to sell a pyramid scheme to neighbours🙁, and it was supposed to be a friendly forum.

@countrygirl99 Yes it's often related to TV I think. And yes, my face aches almost as much as my soul 😂. Especially when I get it wrong and she gets cross with me for not understanding that she was talking about Princess Diana when I thought she was still talking about a special type of jam that she found in the car (which she doesn't have!)

I like this thread as it is, with a little light to balance the shade.

As for the name, I don't have strong feelings either way. If it changes, I'd prefer it to remain relatively non-obvious, for all the reasons that have already been mentioned. Keep the Cafe, but maybe a spot of rebranding. Cuckoo, Cock-up, bloody hell, I don't know. Cock-a-leekie?

@SeriouslyAgain do you find your face aches after a while. Mum will tell me about the straw hat she made on her holiday to the Congo, the penguins on her Antarctic cruise and how she saw Victoria Falls when she went on a cruise on the QE2. She hasn't been to any of those places but I have noticed the mentions come after TV programmes they were in. She did go to Kenya but I very much doubt there was a wild elephant that came to the beachside hotel every breakfast time to be fed currant buns by the guests. I smile and nod.

Don’t mind the name! It’s easy to pick out and remind me that this isn’t a fluffy topic.

Lol @SeriouslyAgain what a roller coaster

@MereDintofPandiculation its my understanding that once threads have been going a certain time (I think it’s 30 days, but I wouldn’t swear to it) they no longer appear in the trending box, although they can still appear in the Active tab if there’s a lot going on. So they can fly under the radar a bit more. But I think threads intending as ongoing chat (like the Archers discussion that I think we both follow) tend to only attract regulars and those signposted there anyway. They don’t seem to appeal to the people who like to, er, provoke lively discussion.

if you’re going to tally votes, mine is definitely for keeping one thread. There is already another ongoing support thread (waiting for people to die) for weighty topics. If this discussion splits, then there would be three ongoing threads. Like a previous poster, I wouldn’t like to have to decide which one to post into on any one day.

on the name, I can sympathise with those who feel a bit of ick, but I quite like it having a unique name and identity. Like the Stately Homes threads for those who have difficult families of origin.

Sometimes you've got to laugh. I had a 'conversation' with DM yesterday which over 10 minutes veered from my grandma visiting (dead for 40 years), a toad that lived in a bucket, a dead squirrel, how well my aunt was (dead for 30 years), Prince Albert (?) of Monaco, back to the squirrel.
It was a roller-coaster of trying to use the correct facial expression, ranging from relieved (at the good health of the dead aunt) through sympathetic (the demanding dead grandma) to amused and interested.
But at one stage I thought she was still talking about the squirrel but she was actually talking about the Monaco royal family 😂 so I think I went wrong there. I showed mild disgust and I think it should have been excited interest?!