Sibling and I have different approaches to clearing our parent's house - difficult!

As a trainee solicitor I was involved in administering the estate of a lady who had died with no relatives. Her house contents sounded similar to your DM's. The firm I worked for got a house clearance company to deal with it and I think the estate got about £500 for the lot. The furniture was G Plan, which was quite trendy at the time (and I think still is now), so I expect they would have made a profit selling it on (as you'd expect, being a business operating for profit).

In your shoes I'd probably want to do the same. That said, whilst in the same trainee seat I was involved in the estate of another elderly person - not wealthy - who left his entire estate to a nephew in Australia he'd never met. His only living relative. To be fair to the lad, he did come over to the UK to deal with it. Good job he did, as while clearing the loft he found a vase he thought looked nice, took it to an auction house, and it turned out to be not Ming dynasty but something similar. It sold for ££££££.

This is excellent advice and I had to bear exactly this thought in mind when clearing my mother's flat last year with siblings.

As we no longer have any parents alive, no mutual connection, I became keenly aware that engaging in arguments or disputes with siblings that I'm already not close with could result in the end of the relationships forever.

Apologies! Have just done one of best hates on mumsnet. Not ready all the OPs posts!!

Glad you had a good resolution!

Haven't read the whole thread but you'd be in charge of eBay or FB Market place?

God no no no!!! I wouldn't mind having to take 2 days off and some heavy lifting but hours of work and time wasters on eBay or market place? Not a chance!

Excellent update @LindorDoubleChoc !

We sold our parents old house a couple of years ago. Each of us arranged to take what we wanted. DSis and I did an initial clean and then we hired a charity based clearance company. They charged per hour and per the number of vans needed. We cleared the garage of any chemicals ( which was the biggest potential additional cost) but left the rest for them to deal with. They cleared the house then carried out a deep clean, we had no complaints from the buyers so assumed all was satisfactory. We paid about £1400, and we’re happy for any profit from sold furniture to be donated to charity. Most of the furniture, if in good condition is used to help low income to furnish homes. My BIL checked the charity out.
We were all happy that they may continue to be of use and although some were of value the hassle of selling them just wasn’t worth it.
It was a large house so I’m sure it would cost a lot less for a smaller property.
We did spend our time going through all the personal stuff and spent an evening looking at old slides.
We could have used any proceeds to cover the cost of the clearance but chose to pay and allow the charity to keep the profit.

Well done. DH thought we could clear his Mum’s house when she went in a care home and had to sell her house. I told him no way could we clear a four bedroom detached house that she had lived in for over 60 years in a weekend! We got a charity to come and take what they wanted, relatives/neighbours to come and get what they wanted and we hired a transit and took what we wanted. Then we paid a clearance company £500 to clear the rest. They came with two large vans and loads of banana boxes. Went through each room clearing everything and were sweeping out the garage two hours later. It was completely worth it!

Had a feeling he would come round when he realised how much work it will save you both, glad it worked out x

Phew.

Oh good! That's great news OP.

That's fantastic @LindorDoubleChoc ! I'm going to be in this kind of situation reasonably soon, so it's good to know this kind of service is available. How did you find this company? What would I need to Google to find similar?

Well done and thanks for the update.

Was in similar position last year but without siblings. My experience was, auction house takes 20% plus VAT, and buyers pay the buyers premium on top (as they would). Most of the items have sold for less than their original valuation but a very few considerably more. There have been entries in about five specialist auctions, but all saleable goods were transported there by a third party firm, so I had no need to hire storage.

however - please be warned about checking cost of emptying house/removal to auction. I was put in touch with someone by the solicitor, and asked his fees - he said he would have a look first and let me know. Didn’t return calls. Next time he rang me, he was half way through the work. Unitemised bill later appears of almost £3k. I had signed nothing. Admittedly the work, whoever I had got to do it (and if there are any steps or stairs at your mothers house OP I would cite that as a real factor not to do it yourselves) would have been around £2k. But I was angry I had been pushed into an agreement without my consent. I do feel it was partly because of my sex.

getting house ready for clearance takes a lot emotionally and physically, and your sibling will likely not have mentioned everything they have done - it’s mentally draining and I suppose I am saying a thank you card and a case of wine when all is in place could go a long way.

Good luck with it all.

@LindorDoubleChoc , I'm surprised that @Notwhatyouwanttohear hasn't reprimanded you for not giving up your job and moving your mother into your home.

We had several people say that to us about DGM. By people who didn't do the same when it was their own parent.

Not sure what relevance your sibling being single and you having 2 offspring is in the op.

They are adults I don't see what input a 20 year old needs that couldn't wait 2 days unless they have disabilities or health issues.

Actually you should be doing more of the work as you have a DH and 2 extra adults to help out especially as your sibling has done a lot more than you have upto this point.

It's very difficult to sell furniture for more than a very small amount, even if it is quite new and was expensive. Charity shops are very fussy on what they will take, especially BHF. Offering furniture for free on FB or Freecycle is still difficult with big items as you need a van to collect. Taking it to the tip could mean being charged if you have a van. Storage is expensive and probably costs more than you can sell stuff for.
You can solve all this hassle by getting house clearance to take it away, and probably saving money.

I buy and sell,and use auction houses a lot. They will come out and look at what you've got and give you an estimate of it's worth. Generally speaking,it isn't worth sending anything worth less that £30 to auction as after fees,you'll barely get anything. Ercol and Schreiber furniture is popular now,and Art Deco still is,but anything older just doesn't sell. I've seen beautiful Edwardian dressing tables go for £5 or not sell at all last week.Big wardrobes are a no no too,as modern houses are too small for them and people can't transport them easily.

Selling on Facebook and eBay is long-winded and laborious,people bid and don't pay,don't turn up to collect or expect you to deliver.
It's a good idea to check everywhere,including inside books before you leave,or get rid of stuff. Older people have a habit of squirreling away money in the oddest places. I've found large amounts of cash hidden behind a bath panel and inside a padded bed head board.
Best of luck,it can't be easy. We are going to be in the same situation with MIL shortly.

That is what I meant
My houses are mostly furnished in new and old ercol.
The old can be very pricey for what can be in terrible condition.

I think you seem really detached trying to outsource this whilst he clearly wants support to do it together. He's done so much more than you already. Suck it up to support him.

I cleared my mother's three bedroom house, she'd not moved in sixty years and it had plenty of storage, all of it full. I'm an only child and it took me an age to do. I had the local auction house come with two young men and a van, that cost £40 plus VAT about a year ago. They went round and took everything that they knew would sell. The selling fees were on their website, they sent me the photos and catalogue entries to approve, the details of what the items sold for and the net proceeds went straight to bank. An old chipped blue and white plate that I wouldn't have sent to the charity shop was very old and sold for £150. It was no work for me, I walked round with them, signed off on the inventory and they did everything else.

I spent months sorting mountains of linens, clothes, papers and when I'd really done I had a house clearance firm strip the remainder in the house and garage and vacuum throughout. I filled the back seat and boot of my car every week, I'd totally underestimated the volume of stuff that was carefully packed away.

I hope that the valuation company proves to be the clear winner. If not I'd have the local auctioneer remove and sell anything saleable and then contact a local charity for the remaining kitchenware and furniture. Here there's a church group that works with families starting afresh after domestic violence and they furnish and equip their accommodation. They take tableware, towels, tables - all the things that you need to put into a house. That should reduce the volume and the lifting so that what's left will go in that van for later sorting. I'd also be looking at how much the storage for the van contents is likely to cost. If you are not prepared to do the selling then say so now, it will be better addressed now than once you've got this stuff in storage.

Charity shops here place a limit on how much you can take in at once - your brother's idea of sorting it all in the two days and taking it to the tip and the charity shop may not work in the real world. You might not be able to take the van to the tip, you might not be able to take it to the charity shop. There were four van loads went from my mother's house, plus all the stuff I took each week to the charity shop and the many times I filled the bin.