Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Elderly parents
Original poster

Legalities of emptying and selling DM's house.

37 replies

Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2023 19:40

DM just been placed in a nursing home, social services involved. We have no relationship to speak of, but as one of her kids I've been chivvied into and just been granted financial guardianship. I'm still awaiting the paperwork coming through, in order to deal with outstanding bills and the sale of her property.
She'll be self funding her care so all proceeds will be taken into account.
What happens with her stuff, not clothes and things, but furniture, jewellery, antiques and things? Do I have to sell anything of value to add to the pot for her care costs?
What about her will? What happens if I willy nilly donate stuff to the charity shop and Ethel from the women's guild has been promised her wedding china?
If anyone's got experience of dealing with clearing a still living DParent's house, I'd really appreciate any advice.

OP posts:
BouncyBallBall · 23/10/2023 20:22

Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2023 20:06

Sorry, I forgot to say we're in Scotland.

Then you will inherit and so it is in your best interest to maximise the money

BouncyBallBall · 23/10/2023 20:21

Depending on how much cash and income she has then you won't need to deal with anything to do with the house and possessions. They can just be kept/maintained until she dies.

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2023 20:17

There's absolutely nothing in it for me. Nothing.
Just the very small remnants of the guilt of going NC.
I was the last to withdraw from any kind of relationship with her, so if no one else picks up the baton, what happens?
Social services don't have the staff to deal with the finances, there was one localish solicitor who dealt with handling financial guardianship on behalf of clients, but he's packing it in.
I've been sucked in because everyone else has backed out.

OP posts:
Reddog1 · 23/10/2023 20:10

With genuine respect, what is in this for you? You will inherit nothing or very little from a woman you had no meaningful relationship with. If another party wants her dosh to pay the care fees, fair enough, but let them crack on with the work involved. Why is it your problem?

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2023 20:06

Sorry, I forgot to say we're in Scotland.

OP posts:
sparklefresh · 23/10/2023 20:05

If you're in England or Wales you'll be a deputy. As deputy you're entitled to see a copy of your mum's Will unless she specified otherwise. It's good practice for you to check it for exactly the reason you mention.

Original poster
Justmuddlingalong · 23/10/2023 19:57

Yip. No one else will take on the guardianship. Social services are doing the welfare. My siblings have no relationship with her either. Nor her own.
She has been deemed as no longer having capacity. She had a will years ago, with a local solicitor, don't know if it's been updated or moved since.

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 23/10/2023 19:53

You have to manage affairs in her best interests, and giving away valuable items isn't in her best interests.

Good idea to get a copy of will and associated letter of wishes from the solicitor. Expect to have to demonstrate your right to this (guardianship papers) and prove your identity. You may also find she has a copy of the will in the house.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 23/10/2023 19:51

You've left quite a few details out. Who has chivvied you into doing this? Social services? Is it because she no longer has capacity? You mention you're "one of her kids" - does she have others? Does she have a relationship with them? Are you aware of the existence of a will? would your mother be able to tell you if there was one?

Onewildandpreciouslife · 23/10/2023 19:50

I am a court of protection deputy for my mum so I talked through the plan with the court of protection team appointed to me.

I have put in storage the nice furniture/ bits family wanted, sold other stuff that would sell, and gave the rest to charity.

Would be worth trying to find the will if you can, and talking to family- my nieces and nephews surprised me with the things they said they wanted.

I also got a local auctioneer to come to the house and give me an idea of value of the various bits

Lamelie · 23/10/2023 19:47

Honestly I’d relinquish the guardianship. When you say you have no relationship has there been a falling out?

Woollyjumpersandtomatosoupweather · 23/10/2023 19:47

We cleared DMs house and sold anything of value to put in her pot.
However could you ask her solicitor whether there's mention of any specific bequests in her will as you're having to clear her house and would wish to set aside any future gifts? At least then you be covered if its queried later.