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Original poster

Bank card recommendations for elderly dementia

34 replies

Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 05:51

Does anyone have recommendations on bank card appropriate for early dementia relative. Dad has bank card to an account to which I control how much cash is in, he likes to pop to shops and buy things and uses it to withdraw cash to play cleaner etc.
However he gave his card to a fraudster this week who convinced him they were from the bank and they used it to withdraw £500, he must have told them pin as well.

Is there a better option out there for us? Perhaps it's just keeping the account balance lower.

I think I can convince my sister to drop cash round every week (she lives nearby, I don't). So we could possibly get by with a card only.

My kids have Go Henry cards but they look as though they are for under 18s.

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tobyj · 24/10/2023 07:41

I agree you need to really watchful now about your mum being on a list. One of my neighbours lost thousands over a few years, until he finally got a live in carer. Sadly, the scams come in various forms, including workmen turning up to do jobs that haven't been agreed, and he'd just pay them. At one point he had something like five mobile phone contracts - and he's never used a phone. They'd just post him a cheap mobile, and then start sending invoices - ansld because he could see he had the phone, he thought it was only right that he should be paying. Sadly, his children weren't as involved as you are, and although we tried to help as neighbours, there's only so much you can do.

floofbag · 24/10/2023 06:03

I have taken over all my mums finances and she had her credit card which only has £500 limit on it so that's our most amount of exposure which is fine .

I Have poa and it was faulty straight forward although time consuming with nationwide as they had to quite rightly check I was legit.

I have set up all her dd and she leaves all her post in a pile so I don't miss anything ..

She still feels she has control although she doesn't and I have reduced all risk to her .

She has carers and this also means I can see everything she spends with them and cash withdrawals so everything is safe ..

We also have ring doorbells and cameras that cover the downstairs of the house so we can check her anytime on our phones .

She is happy with this as then she can stay at home .

GCRyan · 23/10/2023 23:21

Unfortunately, you may be correct about being added to a hit list for fraudsters. My MIL was targeted 5 times in 20 months. Each time getting more sinister. First they convinced her they were her bank and needed her pin and fleeced her. Then they told her to withdraw money and she handed over several thousand to a guy outside the bank to do “a sting to catch the fraudsters” building onto follow on phone calls from “met police and new Scotland Yard” for further “stings”. It was heartbreaking how gullible she was. In the end, even being listed as vulnerable within the banking system, we couldn’t protect her from herself and took the cards from her and gave her revolut card with a very low balance to play with.

jugodenaranja · 23/10/2023 21:03

Dont give him access to money

JennyMule · 23/10/2023 21:00

We use Money Carer accounts which allow a formal representative (eg Attorney with registered EPA/LPA or a Deputy for P&A) to set up a bank account for someone who needs support with banking. Person can have a bank card (chip/pin/ATM card that works in non-Link cash machines), you can have second/carers card(s) and monitor spending/trickle cash into the account to avoid issues with fraudsters or the person who has limited capacity to manage money getting in a pickle.

TammyJones · 23/10/2023 19:12

Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 05:53

My late aunt used to give her card away and it was dreadful outgoing drama. The bank finally stopped her having a card, it was a massive pain as she loves so far away. So I'm sure there's a solution I've not thought about.

Yes we had this- dear great uncle had his card took off him in the end.
He'd still go in the bank periodically and demand a new card - they never let him.
We used to get cash out for him.

MikeRafone · 21/10/2023 06:14

The post office card doesn’t have a name on it and is simple to get from post office and then download app.

give your dad the card and pin number

then you control how much money is on the card

floofbag · 21/10/2023 06:12

Revolut is easy as you can transfer money on to it from an app .

MikeRafone · 21/10/2023 06:10

the post office do a travel card that you can put money on in sterling and use in the U.K. you get to see the app and could transfer £50 a week

can you contact the cleaner and arrange to pay by bank transfer weekly?

Spencer0220 · 21/10/2023 06:05

Could you renew your dad's passport?

Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 20/10/2023 11:28

Dad doesn't have a valid photo ID anymore, passport expired, no driver licence. So I can't open the account in his name it seems.

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Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 20/10/2023 11:27

Sorry, might i please ask a Q re the Starling account. I would open the account in my name and then transfer Dad's money into my account to then add to his connected card?

Can anyone think of an issue doing this, would it look dodgy to anyone (Social service? OPG?) if they were ever to audit his accounts for future care etc

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nibblessquibbles · 19/10/2023 08:42

Revolut are great and have a under 18s option which comes with a card but has some restrictions on it eg you can set transaction limits so you could block any transactions over £100 for example. It looks and acts like a normal card though for all other purposes. You manage through the app and you can top up and see where they are spending. Could you set one up for your DF? Not sure if they ask for proof of age

caramond · 19/10/2023 08:38

I have a Starling account and use the card for travel in London as I don't want to get my main debit card out to use the tube etc. I usually have up to £100 in that account and sometimes use it to get coffee or other small spends along with travel. The app gives me a notification on my phone each time I use it so that would alert you immediately to any unexpected use.

Blingstar · 19/10/2023 08:37

I'd recommend Hyperjar. You set up the account then you can create jars which can have a connected card. I use this for my child. It's free unlike Go Henry. You can see in the app how much is in the jar, where it's being used etc. very clear to use.

MessyRaptor · 19/10/2023 08:32

Would also recommend the second card in a starling account. Its essentially two accounts linked together. The app is great - I get notifications, can easily add money without the other party needing to ask when the balance is running low. Can also freeze the card easily if it's temporarily misplaced. I can also set limits for contactless and withdrawing cash. Can choose own pin which has made it easier to remember it. It's been really great.

Newname7 · 19/10/2023 08:22

My dad has early onset dementia and we have given him a Monzo card. Can be topped up easily via and App, You get notifications of any transactions, low balance alerts and can easily freeze/unfreeze cards when they are lost/found. We generally keep less than £100 on there so worst case scenario that is all that is at risk, but he still has the independence of being able to pop to the shop if he wants or buy his friends a pint. Would definitely recommend

Jennalong · 19/10/2023 08:17

We suspect mil is in the early stages . She has two a/cs with the same bank . Dh has given one card to her that has a smaller amount in ( less than £400 ) and she uses that and it's topped up when needed.

Original poster
Stumblingsideways · 19/10/2023 08:17

Thank you all, I really appreciate the suggestions. Thinking about it, cash only won't work as someone mentioned there will be times my sister can't get there to give him cash.
Fortunately I have enduring POA registered, which as it's the old style POA which is registered when they start to lose capacity is in itself a challenge with banks, since some won't let him have his own access to money with this type of POA. Fortunately we found one back that would allow him to keep a card.

I'm going to look into the prepaid card options. I feel bad as he has quite a lot of savings and I want him to feel he can spend it on treats etc whilst his dementia is still early stages without worrying about the balance running out or checking with me. Although mainly it's splurges in charity shops on military history books and too many fish and chip suppers.

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 19/10/2023 08:13

I'd get a Revolut card as they are so easy to manage online, you can stop it instantly, and then you can just keep a really low balance in it - and it will notify you of all transactions.
Could you start paying the cleaner by bank transfer so he only needs a bit of spending money?

gotomomo · 19/10/2023 07:59

There's something called a guardian card I think, like a go henry. It's designed for this scenario. An easier option is to keep a lower balance on a prepaid card, with those they can be replaced with a new number easily

Mumof1andacat · 19/10/2023 07:55

Might also be worth looking in to getting power of attorney

henrysugar12 · 19/10/2023 07:49

Something like a revolut card would probably work. Not sure why the big banks can't do something similar!

fruitstick · 19/10/2023 07:21

Could you use a goHenry card somehow?

DS has one and I am responsible for putting money on it, and also I get a notification when he spends (so know he's just spent £8 at the coop etc)

They're designed for kids but I'm sure it would work just as well.