Dads flat and cleanliness

Are his clothes being washed?

Do you think it has become to hard or scary for him to shower? As you get older and have less ability to balance. Wet feet can be very slippery, bending over to soap and dry, fiddling with buttons and towels etc can be exhausting. Could you try and see if his washing set up is still easy for him to manage?

You can't control other's behaviour only your own.

You could try telling him you believe he has become nose -blind. That it's not only him there because you're there visiting, other professionals visit, he presumably goes to shops etc so other people are being affected by the results of his lifestyle choices.

Apart from that all you can do is refuse to visit unless he wears freshly washed clothes that day, has taken a shower and washed his hair in the prior 12hrs, empties his bins and opens his windows to air out his home before you arrive.

Unfortunately, he has the right to be disgusting if he wishes. I think, for some people, it's only the social consequences of their choices that would ever make them choose differently. The world is awash with people who make an effort/more of an effort only in order to attract a partner and who, if given the opportunity, will live as total slobs. He's not looking for a partner, the professionals will come regardless and be polite because they have to, he likely doesn't care about the people in the shops. So that leaves only you as someone who can provide a consequence for his actions. There's no guarantees it'll work though, he may choose being a slob over his relationship with you. It's your decision whether his behaviour is a deal-breaker for you or not.

Speak to his carers! See if they can encourage him to shower?

I know the smell you mean. There was a young student type chap in Aldi this week whose aroma was gagging. He scented the entire place.

I followed another chap around B&Q yesterday, not by design. It just worked out that way. He really ponged.

It wasn’t BO for either, just a vile unwashed ingrained body/clothes smell. 🤢