hospice called to tell me my dad's breathing had changed?

Sending you love and a handhold.

❤️ hand hold xx

Go now. We got this call for MIL and were only there 5mins before she passed. I'm glad we made it, even if I'm not sure if she knew we were there. I wish they'd called sooner.

Holding my dad’s hand as he took his last breath was the most profound moment of my life. Like you I didn’t think I could do it but it was a privilege to be there and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Be strong, sending love 💐

Go now.

We got the call and our dad died in our arms within 12 hours.

Sending you much love 💐

You should be able to stay over op if that's an option for you.

Sending love. This is a really hard time.

Sending you a handhold @falstaff1980 💕

Me and my sibling were called and spent most of the day with our dad when we were called to say he didn't have long (he was in a care home rather than hospice) but he died early the next morning when we weren't there. Its silly it still felt like a shock even though we were expecting it.

for you OP, I hope you get to say goodbye in a way that feels right for you

Sending you strength. I made it with 30 minutes to spare when my sister was dying. It's hard to do but I can assure you that you will be glad you were with him at the end

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Go now and spend time with him x

My husband went to the shop and when he came back he said dad's breathing has changed and he wasn't long after that within the hour.
Best of luck to you but if you can't stay say your goodbyes. They can't predict when a heart is going to stop and they can be going strong for a good while.
Hugs.

Sending you strength whatever you decide to do.

They will try not to be explicit but are trying to tell you tactfully that the end of life is approaching. you need to go there. Many years ago my mother's care home rang to ask if someone could go and sit with her as she was rather poorly. DW and I instantly grasped that the situation was very serious and that they didn't make such calls without good reason. We alerted the other members of the family and went to the care home. On arrival the Matron met us and gently informed us that she would not last the night. I have never forgotten her kindness and that of the other staff.

It's so tough, but I think you are right in deciding to go. The last hours are often extremely peaceful...especially in a hospice setting where they can be very responsive with medication. Try not to be fearful, but treasure the chance to say goodbye. Much love

I’ve been in your shoes, it’s tough.

sending you love and strength xx

I had this with my Dad in April who was in ITU the ward staff rang at 5am to say come now but he had already gone by the time I got there. I wish more than anything I had been there to hold his hand but we were sent home at midnight. It is a very very hard time op you have my upmost sympathy

I’ve just been through this at the weekend. It was a peaceful experience for my Mum. If it’s not speak to the hospice staff, they have access to various medications which can help. Is there some one who can come with you? If you try read your Dad a book, I’m sure the hospice will have one. Tell your Dad that you love him, that he has taught you everything you know to continue without you and now it’s time to go. If you can tell him about old memories. You can do this.

We got the call at 7am and my dad died just after 10pm. I didn't leave the hospital during that time and I made the right decision. Just stay with him now.

I'm sorry. I am still very traumatised but glad we were all with him.

Sending strength and love. You are doing the right thing. Every good wish to you. Look after yourself. xx

My Dad died last month.

We were told if we wanted to see him get there sooner rather than later.

My brother rushed there and sat with Dad all night and the next day.

I went to say my goodbyes during the day and sat with him for a few hours to give my Brother a break, just chattering and playing videos of my DD singing and laughing which got a response.

I said we were all okay and he should go to be with Mum, she would be waiting for him.

Dad passed away that night - it was peaceful.

I did not want to be there when he died, my Brother stayed with him.

It is a personal choice, do not feel you have to be there, go and sit with him and see how you feel.

I will be thinking of you and sending strength @falstaff1980

Oh Falstaff , it is such a difficult call to receive, but trust me, you need to go now. This is why the Nurse called you.

I've been in your shoes OP and I know how you feel. This is the last thing that any person can do for someone else, so be strong, be there for him in his last moments, and the staff will support you.

I watched all this happen to my OH. The change in breathing was very near the end, so I think you should go now and be with him. You can cope with this - when it gets to that stage you simply want them to go and be at peace. xx

Agree you're being advised to go in. My dsis was with our mum the day she died. When she got up to leave at the usual time, it was suggested she might want to stay. Sure enough, mum died a couple of hours later.

Everyone deals with these things differently and you must do what is best for you. I would just add that I was with my dad when he died (we'd been told he probably only had days so dsis and I did shifts so someone was always with him). His death was very peaceful - he was already unconscious and around 4am he took his last breath. I am so glad I was there and consider it a huge privilege to have been with him when he left this world.

I hope you have someone supporting you through this.