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Elderly parents

Step mum has asked if DF with Parkinson's can stay with me

177 replies

BlueRaspberry7 · 14/08/2023 11:23

My dad and his wife moved a couple of hours away from where I and rest of his family live, to have the lifestyle and big house that they wanted.

Dad has since developed Parkinson's which is now declining and he has started having regular falls. Step mum feels he can't be left alone any more.

She has asked if he can come and stay with me "for a few days every now and then" as she wants a few days off.

My situation is I work full time and have two children and we're live in a 3-bed house. She's asked whether my children can bunk up when he stays. I'm already feeling stretched with demanding work and family life as is.

I now feel very guilty and ashamed for not wanting to regularly welcome DF in our home, but I know it won't with around my family.

I've asked if they can get some assistance at home, but he apparently isn't ready for this.

Please can anyone help me with experiences, thoughts... I'm feeling so confused and guilty.

OP posts:
TinkerbellefromYorkshire · 14/08/2023 11:30

If it was my Dad or Mum..I'd definitely have them with me and work out the children.
My parents died age 62 ( suddenly heart attack) .. I'd have done anything for them.. and my daughters are the same with me.. family is everything to us and always come first..

Akire · 14/08/2023 11:29

Does he need to have someone with him all the time? Implying she need time off would suggest he does. But if you are out all day working then running around after the kids he’s no more better off then being at his own home all day, while she pops out to do whatever she wants to do.

since they have the large house you could suggest you and the kids will go there for odd weekend to spend time with him and she can maybe get away? So you will be offering some support but it’s not in your home and not when you a working. This may still not be practical but it’s not a “no”.

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