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Elderly parents
Original poster

Cockroach cafe 🪳 Summer 2023 🪳

984 replies

MereDintofPandiculation · 24/07/2023 20:27

Welcome! I’ve done a really good clean of the place overnight, and brought in sweet peas, and raspberries from the garden to go with the scones and clotted cream.

Come in when you want to share good news, or to rant, or to ask a small question that doesn't warrant its own thread. Or just to hang out with others who understand what you're going through.

For newbies: why cockroach? Previous long term resident of "Elderly Parents" Yolo's DM attended a 'small animal event' in a nursing home, and was presented with a "small animal with a hard back" the name of which species she couldn't remember. Her ever helpful DB suggested cockroach, and it has become a toast on here. So 🪳 mes amis/amies, and may you all live to fight another day.

OP posts:
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4catsaremylife · 25/07/2023 00:39

Can I join you?
I had to enlist my adult DS to find out how to get my dad's best friend's phone number off the blocked caller list.
I asked dad how it happened and he said "well I just push random buttons these days" - amusing but sad too. My lovely dad studied electronics and worked in the field all his working life, and thanks to dementia now struggles to work his TV or telephone

TheShellBeach · 24/07/2023 23:46

I never got near positive noises either.

Original poster
MereDintofPandiculation · 24/07/2023 23:02

Welcome, everybody, good to see you all.

@Nodancingshoes don't feel bad. You're doing your best. No-one can expect perfection. Be as nice to yourself as you would be to a friend who was in a similar situation.

@Muddlinalong You're doing better than me. I never got near positive noises.

OP posts:
Original poster
MereDintofPandiculation · 24/07/2023 22:46

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 24/07/2023 20:43

It's looking lovely in here. Thank you for being the hostess with the mostess as my DM would say. I knew DH was the one for me when his mum served up fresh raspberries with muesli for breakfast!

Are you my DIL? That's what we're having tomorrow.

OP posts:
DahliaMacNamara · 24/07/2023 22:16

You big fancypants, @MereDintofPandiculation : you've been dusting around the light fittings and everything.
It's our 'day off' today. Got back in an hour ago and I can see there's a missed call from FIL, but elected not to call him back. Didn't even mention it to DH. There'll be another one if it's really important. So. A scone, you say?

Muddlinalong · 24/07/2023 21:49

Evening all! It’s good to see a bit of colour in the summer air to start us off.

I spent today battling with my parents ancient lawnmower and trying to find things in the shed that looks like I feel after a bad week! The lawnmower stopped working when the wire suddenly sparked and split, but I hadn’t cut it?! Says a lot about the state of the house and upkeep in general. I used it as a chance to have a bit of a clear out of the shed and start the suggestion of someone to help with the larger garden jobs. I’m trying to persuade them to get a cleaner as well. The noises in reply are more positive than a few weeks ago so I can live in hope we might get somewhere.

Does 1 step forward, 3 steps back sound familiar to anyone else?

Nodancingshoes · 24/07/2023 21:43

Evening all!
I feel like I've been abit mean to my nan today. I've had a hard weekend with teenagers and other worries. I walked on to be greeted by another barrage of doom and despair and I'm afraid I didn't cope with it well. I'm not sure she really noticed to be honest but I feel bad about it now. She is now having up to 2 visits a day from family members as well as the carer but apparently she only wants me... the weight of that feels heavy at the moment 😔

Knotaknitter · 24/07/2023 21:08

Thank you for pulling the furniture out and cleaning under and behind, it's a rare thing when I do it.

I'm here to keep up with the people who supported me when I was at breaking point. I visit MIL nearly every week but I have no responsibility for her and no worry either. Yet again she was sitting in wet clothes when I visited, if it were down to me I'd move her but it isn't. She's settled and as happy as she has ever been so I suppose that's something.

I drove past my parent's former house last week, I sold it at the end of March. It looked lovely, they'd replaced the windows, replaced the flat roof on the outbuilding with a tiled pitched roof and they had the garden waste bin half way up the path showing that gardening was in progress. The house looked cared for and I was glad that it was back to being a family home and not that great lump of responsibility I'd been carrying for years.

I could just eat a scone but it's a bit late to be making them now.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 24/07/2023 20:43

It's looking lovely in here. Thank you for being the hostess with the mostess as my DM would say. I knew DH was the one for me when his mum served up fresh raspberries with muesli for breakfast!