Cockroach cafe 🪳 Summer 2023 🪳

Yes, when DF was alive[so at least 4 years ago) British Gas quoted them £4000 to replace the boiler. We got it replaced by a local company for £1800 last year, immaculate job, no mess and done in a day.

My parents ditched British Gas because they were constantly trying to sell them a powerflush at £400.

When the boiler needed replacing, I insisted on being there, despite my father's annoyance. But I've just seen too many companies trying to fleece the elderly.

that was 7 years ago so I'm annoyed they're still doing it.

Worrying trend of elderly being taken advantage of by B Gas. MiL paying £80 pcm
for insurance she really didn’t on white goods and drains, drains covered by landlord insurance and white goods guarantees, consumer law and contents insurance. They wouldn’t cancel it! They scared her into a new boiler with a loan at double the going rate - we would have loaned her the money and our plumber would have put in exact same boiler for £1000 less. She finally paid it off last year. Her income is state pension plus a tiny work pension, I suspect BG has made thousands out of her. 🙁

OMG @countrygirl99 that is my DM with hearing, my DF can’t put his in because of loud TV so now has given up because DM a isn’t deaf it is just the phone and TV don’t work 😮🤣. Third landline phone in a few years. She says but everyone on the village says their phone reception is bad - my answer, mum they mean their mobile phones, there is nothing wrong with the landline. DM & DF showing very early signs of things to come and both incredibly stubborn …. Will be an interesting. DF yesterday insisted it wasn’t half term, even though my course isn’t on and SiL a teacher is on holiday….

will we all be like this? I have promised myself and DH that I will wear hearing aids when I need to, I have continuous tinnitus in one ear so I got tested - ok for now. I noticed too that they both DP need glasses but rarely wear them, as soon as I needed varifocals, a few years ago, I got them and wear them pretty much all the time - I couldn’t bare not to be able to read things or hear things 🙁. Would be useless at choir too… 😁

This is exactly why I have Do Not Disturb set up on my phone during working hours!

You can fiddle with the settings so that important calls do get through (DH and my DD's school are the only ones I'll receive!)

Today I've had 3 phone calls at work. One from nan asking if anyone has bought clingfilm, once from the carer about booking covid jabs and another from my nans nephew asking how she is.. Seriously I'm at work!!! I was pretty run off my feet anyway so I avoided the call from the nephew. Its lovely that he cares but ring me in the evening!!

Oh god boilers. Mum also pays a fortune for a BG contract for her ancient boiler. They quoted her nearly £5k for a new combi boiler but I don’t think she’d cope with the upheaval.

she also fiddles with the controls and denies it and then says is broken when the heating doesn’t come on (because she’s turned it off).

she doesn’t have hearing aids to lose but the status and location of her false teeth is an on going saga…

British Gas nearly got mum to buy a new boiler last year but DB managed to stop it as there was nothing wrong with the one she has. Mind you she calls them out at least once a month in the winter so maybe it was revenge. She switches off the heating and forgets she has or fiddles and leaves it mid adjustment and phones them when it doesn't come on. We daren't change to a local, it wouldn't be fair on them.

Oh yes I hear you on the cash and getting scammed by British Gas. DM was paying about £25 a month for a service contract (our fitter charges around £80 a year for a service) and I couldn't get them to come out to service her boiler and fire for months. A week after finally servicing them there was an issue with her boiler and she had to wait weeks (and many calls from me) for BG to come out only for them to be unable to repair it (despite them having okayed it at the service). This was February and she was on their priority list. I ended up getting our fitter to sort it and billing them.
She now has a new boiler and fire and a contract with our much more reliable gas fitter.

Don't get me started on DMs hearing aids. Not a week goes by without one of them getting lost or breaking or batteries running out or pipes or filters needing changing. I am hard of hearing myself and DH wonders why I won't get hearing aids (I am actually waiting for a MRI/referral) - it's because I don't want to inflict the additional stress of them on anyone!

We had the (excellent) community physio out this morning - she was like a gazelle sprinting round and doing exercises for him.

@Juneday hearing aids are another nightmare. She needs them. Poor dad used to have to take his out because she turned the tv up so loud. Finally she went to Boots for a test " to prove there's nothing wrong with my hearing" and came out having ordered really expensive ones. Then she completely forgot the whole thing and decided they must be dad's and threw them away when he died. Now it's 50/50 that she'll want answer the phone in the afternoon or evening when the tv is on because she just doesn't hear it. But of course that means there is something wrong with the phone because there's nothing wrong with her hearing. You can clearly hear the TV in her front garden and it's in a back room. I pity her neighbours.

Card not purse! I have done that too …. Thank goodness your DB got her to check though.

@countrygirl99 thats so hard for you and your family. before MiL was found a nursing home by SS, she was obsessed with going to the dentist and thought she would be ‘struck off’ no matter how many times I said they cancelled because of Covid. Told ENT she only needed one hearing aid and absolutely refused to be measured up for second, then said everyone was lying she always wanted 2. Not that she ever learned to put her one in, then lost it at nursing home. Now keeps asking why she doesn’t have hearing aids😮. Same with mobile phones, she gets them, refuses to learn to use one and then constantly says it’s not fair everyone has a phone - get me one. We just go along with it.

It must be such a worry when you don’t know exactly what is going on - particularly people taking advantage that is so wicked by sadly common. MiL was very anxious when at home so as far as we can tell never got scammed in any way (other than by British Gas IMO!!). MiL still asks for cash, but we nod now rather than explain she has an account at the home. She used to ask for cash a lot - I found £100 of coins that took me several trips to bank for her 😁. I know many that age group prefer cash, but was always reluctant to get much out for MiL.

sorry to hear about her purse, it happens to us all I think and it is such a nuisance when it does, more of a worry for you too.

@Juneday trying to get anything sensible out of mum now is impossible. But I do know that if she says she thinks she needs to see the GP then she really does, she's an avoider normally. For example one day a week she goes to a lunch club run by the Salvation Army. A few weeks ago she told me she had started going to a coffee morning on another day. Asked her who runs it - Salvation Army. Last week she was telling me all the activities she had done that week. I know she gave bowling early summer as none of her friends go now and it outdoor and finishes in September. She mentioned the coffee morning but now it isn't run by the SA but she can't remember who runs it or where it is. I suspect it was a one off event but can't be sure.
She's also had more work done in the garden - was massively ripped off a couple of months ago - only done in the few days between my visits but insists it was weeks ago. Again can't remember who did it (hopefully not the same bunch) or how much she paid. The job hadn't even been suggested on any previous visits. We won't know what she's paid until the cheque hits the account.
A couple of weeks ago I took her to the GP for jabs. She'd lost her debit card so I got her emergency cash and took her to the supermarket. The next day she told my brother she hadn't seen me for weeks and was totally confused when he asked if her new card had arrived yet. Checked her purse and was amazed he knew as "she'd only realised she had lost it when he asked". The replacement had been requested by her 5 days earlier.

@countrygirl99 🤞they are thorough and efficient. Had mixed experiences with MiL, response on so many times was to send her to A&E - but new keen GP made a double appointment and was kind and thorough - I helped MiL write a list of worries and symptoms which helped. Worth making notes maybe with times and descriptions of dizzy spells if you DF can do this to take for your DM.

He finally got through this morning and has an appointment for tomorrow. No chance of changing surgery as there's only one in her small town. They seem very backwards with technology and don't have an online system at all. I'm a bit worried that the dizzy spells are going to mean more GP appointments which is going to be hard to manage.

Thanks for the advice from everyone, hopefully we can get dates sorted soon.

Temporarily lost login detail…. From clearing history!

so sorry @seanbeanmarryme to read your news, and hope all the advice re coroners report etc have helped. And that you can make plans.

@countrygirl99 sorry to hear lack of support from GP or ability to get an appointment. A good friend had UTI, she knew a quick call to GP would provide anti biotics but had exact same, 3 days of agony because of 8.30 rule and being in a queue. If you have time I would still write to MP, it builds a picture if nothing else. I am lucky to have an amazing MP, a fairly new to the job Liberal, she responds to every letter and I often see her in Parliament fighting for her constituency. I hope she doesn’t run out of steam….

I am furious atm. MiL eldest GC asked to visit yesterday so we stayed away (MiL can’t cope with 2 visits), DH messaged his neice and said do keep in touch and we invited her to call in if she wanted after. Nothing. We continued with our plans then called the nursing home. No visitors had been and we couldn’t make it that late in the day.

MiL not allowed to leave her room due to infection and getting distressed, she really needed a visit and we had told to expect her GC (although she won’t have remembered). DH says he will message his neice if she hasn’t messaged first and find a way to say how unkind this is.

DH family are all experts, and always know best (think they are but are in truth are quite the opposite). At least I didn’t get a visitor telling me what to do and what to tell the nursing home to do. 😁. GP reviewing MiL tomorrow. 🤞

When I went to mum's last Wednesday she told me she'd fallen in the garden and she'd been having dizzy spells. DB2 has been trying to make a GP appointment for her but can never get through at 8.30 and when he phones later gets told they can only make appointments at 8.30. At least he can try, mum would never understand. 85, having falls and dizzy spells and it's tough. And guess who her MP is - Secretary of State for Health. No point writing to him. He couldn't see the problem when other DB wrote to him because dad (94, heart condition, deaf and partially sighted with mobility issues among other things) couldn't get a face to face appointment during covid despite his hospital consultant writing to his GP saying it was vital to see him face to face.
And breathe

@seanbeanmarryme sorry about your mum.
my DF was referred to coroner for PM for a fairly routine reason. The funeral directors were familiar with the situation and had a rough idea of when we might expect death certificate and helped us to get on with provisional arrangements for funeral. Their estimated date was pretty much spot on so we were able to just ‘activate’ the plan.

I think that's pretty standard then, more of a tick box thing.

i've heard of many situations where a post mortem seemed mad, but I think where a care home is involved in a way, they basically always do them.

sorry, it's so much more stress for you.

Thanks for replies.
@EmmaEmerald yes falls we're in the home. We were always notified and she was checked over by a nurse and paramedics called when thought necessary.

sean the situations I've heard, they release an interim certificate

I'm sorry, I've lost track of things - were the falls in a care home?