PIL are in their mid-late 70s and difficult.
We don’t really have a relationship, and DH ‘manages’ it from afar (2 hours away). They are ND (undiagnosed, obviously), FIL has Parkinson’s, MIL has a list of ailments getting longer by the day. Always been old before their time, fixed mindset, won’t listen, you get the picture.
They live rurally and are holding onto driving licences by the skin of their teeth (MIL’s currently revoked due to neurological issue). They are talking about moving nearer, but this has been put on hold due to ailments. They refuse to get taxis, so I think are putting pressure on other relatives to drive them to appointments. FIL is hoping to fall off a roof any day, to put an end to the understandable misery of Parkinson’s. MIL is more realistic and knows she needs to make plans for when they’re more poorly/less able to help themselves.
They want to see more of the kids, but then can’t cope having them at their place or ours (very well behaved 10 and 8 year old boys, 10 year old ASD/ADHD, which they refuse to acknowledge). They can’t go for walks. They cause a scene in restaurants by making faces and being rude to staff.
My gut feeling is that there is no conversation we can have that will help them with their current situation. How have you handled tricky older relatives, and what was the outcome?