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Elderly parents
Original poster

End of Life but suddenly perked up

39 replies

Rattysparklebum · 20/06/2023 18:22

DF has dementia, hasn’t really been eating or drinking for around 2 weeks and lost all mobility, he was moved from his care home to hospital 5 days ago as he had an infection and poor stats.

Dad has been on IV antibiotics and fluids, has been almost comatose in hospital and not responded to treatment so today it was agreed he would move to end of life care and his drips have been removed.

I have been visiting everyday and this evening he was sitting up and talking more lucidly than he has for around 6 weeks, I’m really concerned that we made the end of life decision too fast, has anyone any experience of similar at the end?

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 20/06/2023 19:05

The same happened to my uncle, he'd been completely out of it for days then suddenly joined in with a conversation about how someone got their nickname - perfectly lucid and clearly thought out conversation. We all had the same worry, that the doctors had made a mistake and he needed to have his medication and sustenance reinstated. He died the following morning, and we were assured that it is incredibly common for there to be this moment of clarity near the end. It's very difficult to process, but we have to believe in the expertise of those who deal with this situation every day.

muuummypig · 20/06/2023 19:02

Sorry you're going through this OP, and like others have said, this is very common just before the end. Tell him all the things you want and need to ❤️

PoshHorseyBird · 20/06/2023 18:59

I think this is actually quite common in people who are dying. It happened to my mum. She was bedridden with heart failure and hadn't eaten for a few days ( Her choice). Suddenly one evening she was chatting, eating garlic bread and pizza we couldn't believe it. The nurse from the hospice did warn us discreetly this was quite common. Our mum passed away the next morning. Give Dad a big hug and tell him how much you love him. I'm sorry you're going through this.

keyboardkat · 20/06/2023 18:55

It is not uncommon in a terminal situation. It can often be very disconcerting for the onlooker/family when just the day (or hours) before the person looked ready to go. It is an amazing thing and I couldn't believe it when I saw it myself with my younger sister. Traumatic also as she died two days later.

I then knew what was happening with Mum and Dad when they were in the same situation.

Bless them all and I hope all will be peaceful OP.

OnlyYellowRoses · 20/06/2023 18:52

I work in elderly care, we also refer to it as 'the surge'. Sadly people usually die within a week or so of it happening.

Soupsetscared · 20/06/2023 18:44

My DM is not eating or drinking much asleep most of the time.
Visited today and back to her grumpy self.
She is being moved out of hospital in a day or two into a nursing home which I've told her today and in her words disgusted with me.
But then told us that she has to share her bed with a rabbit.

Bippertyboo2 · 20/06/2023 18:39

My MiL was put on end of life treatment 6 weeks ago and is still with us, mostly asleep but when awake can be lucid or 'away with the fairies'!

Baldieheid · 20/06/2023 18:35

My Dad did the same.

Tell him how much you love him x

inigomontoyahwillcox · 20/06/2023 18:35

Terminal lucidity, AKA the end-of-life rally, is what is currently happening to your DF by the sounds of it.

Clymene · 20/06/2023 18:32

It definitely happens before the end. I'm sorry.

theemmadilemma · 20/06/2023 18:31

Often happens at the end. Lovely in its own way.

JockSmashnova · 20/06/2023 18:27

Sorry to hear that you are in this position, but yes, perking up right at the end is a thing.

TequilaNights · 20/06/2023 18:25

The surge, commonly happens hours/days before death.

Hand hold for you 💐

neilyoungismyhero · 20/06/2023 18:25

Sometimes people do this don't they? Then they go downhill fast. My friend behaved in the same fashion.