Something between retirement village and own house

There are also parts of the country that attract retired folks. Nice countryside, decent gardens, too distant from any decent schools or too far for work commutes,

I have relatives who moved to a part of Norfolk on retirement, a small village, all their neighbours are retired, in their whole street, about 20 houses, they are very friendly with the neighbours, not one person actually has a job,they are all retirees. They all get together and get het up about rhe coronation party, or play bingo and cards. It’s quite idyllic , sociable and very supportive. They walk each others dogs if someone is ill, cut their grass , put the bins out, drop in for coffee etc.

I suspect there are quite a lot of places like that. But if they don’t want to pay fees etc, and don’t wish to move away, their options are very limited. It’s a house then can afford in the location they wish to be.

After FiL died my MiL (then late 70s, now late 80s) moved into a bungalow in a cul-de-sac full of other bungalows on the edge of medium-sized town. She very rapidly got to know the other residents, many of who were her age or a little younger, and they have formed a pretty strong support network. That kind of set-up sounds like it might be the kind of thing to suit your parents, but it is harder to do the research for that kind of thing as it does not have a label, unlike an official retirement community. Maybe have a chat with an estate agent or two in likely areas?

Nothing is for free , not even peace of mind which seems is what your parents want.
Living with your own freedom , but having a person who can assist at times of emergency , or a place to could choose to meet up with others who live close by is a chargeable service.

At 80+ they need to be making a move to a flexible set up where they can remain as their care needs increase.
imho ( looking at these for father in law who failed to make the leap and he and MIL suffered greatly as a result😢).

retirement villages eg McCarthy and stone and the like come in 2 forms - the sort where you are together with other oldies and get a pull alarm and maybe a communal room type thing but that’s about it , the old “ warden controlled “ only really wardens don’t exist any more. The 2nd sort is “ extra care “ where you buy a flat and pay a fee for communal facilities - a restaurant for buying meals / coffees etc , a small shop maybe , a laundry facility and entertainment facilities / program. Then on a case by case bases you can also buy care from the facility team rather than employing your own private carers ( assuming you aren’t council funded ).

the issue we are struggling with is that all these places need you to buy rather than rent your flat and then of course sell it on after ( or sell it back at a loss ). be very clear in the sell back deal. Often you don’t to pay the hefty ongoing costs for a. Empty flat

Near us is a retirement village with different levels of support from independent living to full care
At the independent end of things you literally just buy a house within a development of over 55s and you can add on services as and when you want them from gardening to housekeeping etc it's a huge place almost like a village of its own. They are leasehold properties though and you have to pay service charges for the estate.

www.middletonhallretirementvillage.co.uk/independent-living/

In my village there's a newbuild estate where certain streets have bungalows, and there are also some flats in little detached two-story units. So the estate as a whole has lots of families, but there are plenty of older people around too who tend to live in the smaller properties. Obvs that doesn't help your parents unless they live in my village, but just wanted to flag up that it is possible!

The only sheltered aspect really is that every property has an alarm for 24 hr assistance. The warden is there as a site manager as much as anything. Residents look after themselves and their properties. Relative employs her own gardener, for example. Properties have garages, so it's expected that residents will have cars and be fit enough to drive. But properties are designed with needs of older people in mind - bungalows with ramps and handrails to front doors, for example.

Is that not sheltered housing?

Aaagh Autocorrect! That apostrophe was in the right place when I hit post. Residents' residents' residents'

A relative has a bungalow in a retirement complex. She lives entirely independently, but there is a warden onsite, and a resident's lounge, where they have community events, arranged by the residents themselves, or sometimes outside providers. But the warden and the lounge have to be paid for, of course.

It is tough though - recent research says that we mostly define “elderly” as 20 years older than we are and elderly people are the most resistant to using facilities designed for the elderly (!)…

True! When my parents and in-laws were the age I am now (65), I thought of them as "elderly" and treated them as such but I don't think of myself as elderly at all (nor probably ever will!).

My in-laws have bought a statistic caravan on a quite a nice caravan park.

most of the residents are 70+, independent but enjoy the company of the other park residents. There’s very strict rules that the caravans cannot be rented out (therefore all the residents are there between 10-12 months a year) and doesn’t seem particularly kid friendly. There’s a swimming pool, club house (for sitting Zumba, coffee mornings, film club, bingo etc), bowls lawn etc but no play park or kids allowed in the club house.

It’s a nice community without it completely feeling like a retirement home. In-laws are very happy pottering around their little caravan and garden.

I've been really impressed with the assisted living places on offer (my grandparents bought a place in one). Best of all are the friends he had there.

There are occasionally some property that has an age restriction, but isn't serviced accommodation. So you're living amongst similar aged people but there would still be some service fees if, for example, it was a flat. I've seen flats restricted in this way but can't say I have seen many houses.

If they don't want to pay fees, they could buy an ordinary bungalow and make any necessary adaptations (wet room/grab rails etc). They could then also sign up for Lifeline or one of the pendant alarm services (they cost about £150 a year) so they have easy access to help if there's a fall or any kind of difficulty.

I would say that gives you all the help of sheltered accommodation but without the fees.

You might want to talk gently to your parents about the fact that they will likely need increasing care and services - ie now is the most independent they will be need to plan for what happens when one of them is ill or on their own. Retirement village will provide many helpful add ons at that point which. New build won’t.

It is tough though - recent research says that we mostly define “elderly” as 20 years older than we are and elderly people are the most resistant to using facilities designed for the elderly (!)…

What about somewhere that has a large number of bungalows? Often young families still move in but they are typically more designed for older or less able people to get around in for longer than a house.

Unfortunately there’s no getting around the fact that if you want the extra services that a retirement village offers above just your own house, it comes with fees and charges that need paying.

Its crap isnt it, weve also looked at retirement villages and some look amazing - with price tags to go with it. My DM longs to live in a little village of bungalows with like minded people. The only thing shes found close to this is living in a park home as they seem to mainly be aged for the over 50s so not full of young families. 😊

Um sheltered housing is the other end of the scale past retirement village

op, there really is only retirement housing or normal housing.

What about sheltered housing?