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Elderly parents
Original poster

sister and motability car

107 replies

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/03/2023 19:37

Would love your thoughts on this. The background is there are 4 siblings including me and our 84 year old DM. Generally we all do our bit to help her albeit I do the most with hospital/ doctors /opticians appointments as I'm retired. I found out today that my sister has had a brand new car on Motability and is paying DM what she would otherwise receive in disability payments. She's done this with no consultation with the rest of us. Indeed one of my DBs suggested he could the very same thing a few years ago but same sister strongly objected. DM has early signs of vascular dementia although seems to understand this situation. I feel quite cross as I think my sister has a brand new car to swan about it but won't be doing all the running around that I do. In fact I'm thinking of stepping back and not doing it anymore. I don't want DM to suffer but she saw fit to hide it from me and my DBs so now will have to ask sister to do it all from now on. It's the sneakiness that's got to me more than anything.

OP posts:
forrestgreen · 25/03/2023 18:13

The car must be only used to carry the disabled person. Not for the benefit of others.
You can report it

Poepourri · 25/03/2023 17:58

It sounds like your sister must be disabled if she has a motability car.

Original poster
Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/03/2023 21:05

She has a well paid job and her DH has his own business, she's always been very avaricious. She can definitely doing the running around now because as you all say it's to be used for mum's benefit. I live much further away than the others too but I've gladly done it all in the past to save them taking days off work. No more.

OP posts:
BirminghamNewStreet · 23/03/2023 20:04

So many questions !
Your mother must have been in receipt of DLA or PIP before state pension age to be eligible for the motability scheme. So at least 20 years. I does sound a bit immoral of your sister, and, the fact that she's paying your Mum the mobility part of her PIP/DLA benefit back monthly suggests that your sister doesn't intend to use the car for your Mother's benefit. More as a lease car arrangement type thing. Why didn't your sister get her own lease car? Is she not financially able to and the motability car is the only chance of her getting a new car?

bloodywhitecat · 23/03/2023 19:49

The car has to be used for your mum's benefit, it is not for your sister to be swanning around in so from now on your sister gets to do all the driving around your mum needs.

missy111 · 23/03/2023 19:47

I'd be looking up the rules. I'm sure I have read somewhere that notability cars are only to be used by or for the benefit of the person in receipt of the benefit?

Badbudgeter · 23/03/2023 19:45

I think if she has the car she does the running around. Send her a list of future appointments. I’d probably say that I was still happy to help occasionally but it would have to be in Mums car.